Mum diagnosed yesterday..

[Jacqui 99]

I've just found this site and wondered if anyone can help with what i can say to my mum today. She seemed accepting of the diagnosis(early alzheimers) yesterday but phoned late last night saying she was very angry(not like her at all) and not going to accept it and wants a second opinion, doesn't feel like someone with alzheimers and is going to fight the diagnosis. I don't know what to do or say to her today..she's looking for my support.
Thanks, any help welcome

Jacqui x

 

[jennifer_eccles]

My mum was the same, and evenings can be harder as the confusion can be worse.
My mum was in denial, I just agreed on her needing a second opinion.
As more health care people got involved and social services they talked with her about her symptoms she took it more as matter of fact.
Though at one stage she blamed me for convincing people she had dementia and she was fine just me being a bad daughter.
Changing the subject if you know it will upset her is a good way of dealing with some of her anxiety especially if it is a good subject you change to. Good luck

 

[Jacqui 99]

Thanks for thatJennifer. It's very reassuring to know that it's to be expected. I feel better able to talk to her when i see her later. It's still not fully sunk in for me yet (having very tearful morning)...let alone her X

 

[Grannie G]

Hello Jacqui

It`s a very frightening diagnosis so any reaction would be natural and acceptable for both you and your mother.
I would try not to discuss it too much with her as it will be so painful. Let her get her second opinions and just try to agree with her as much as possible.
It`s tough on you, for you are also shocked and upset, so I hope you will feel able to offload here on TP where we will all be able to understand how you feel.
Hopefully TP can be here for you, so you can be there for your mother.

 

[Jacqui 99]

Thanks for that advice and sympathy, Sylvia. I printed out "Compassionate Communication with the Memory Impaired" from another thread before I saw her and found it so useful. She repeated how angry she felt and I just agreed and sympathised and played down the importance of the "label" of Alzheimers, and changed the subject. She seemed ok by the time I left her. I'm so glad to have found Talking Point...and it's only my first day! Thank you again, x

 

[Grannie G]

Well done Jacqui. You are on a very steep learning curve. We all are.

 

[Cookie21]

Jacqui...

You will find the forum a wonderful place for support

Sending you some ((hugs))

 

[Jacqui 99]

hugs back... and more thanks x