I found out yesterday from my Dad who's 81 and not in the best of health, that my Mum has been diagnose since January, and didn't want to worry myself and my brother. I live in West Yorkshire 4hrs drive away work full time as does my brother, my brother live within 20mins drive. It's just starting to sink in and this morning as to how I am going to be able to support my Mum and my Dad through this terrible journey that we have no choice but to follow being so far away. This my sound selfish but I can't afford to have much time off work.....bills still have to be paid. How do I go about trying to get some help at home for them?
Mum Diagnosed, Dad is 81
- Thread starter Trevorsmith44
- Start date
Hi @Trevorsmith44 Welcome to the forum. I am sorry to hear about your mum, it must have come as such a shock to you.
Living so far away you probably won’t be able to do much of the practical hands on things.
However speaking as an ex career one thing I found hard was dealing with all those necessary telephone calls, paperwork , research ,chasing things up etc etc on top of the hands on, daily life and entertainment things. I also needed and was grateful to be able to chat and unburden myself . So you see if you and your family are willing perhaps you could take on some of those .
By supporting your Dad you will be supporting your mum too, that may sound strange but it is oh so true.
Living so far away you probably won’t be able to do much of the practical hands on things.
However speaking as an ex career one thing I found hard was dealing with all those necessary telephone calls, paperwork , research ,chasing things up etc etc on top of the hands on, daily life and entertainment things. I also needed and was grateful to be able to chat and unburden myself . So you see if you and your family are willing perhaps you could take on some of those .
By supporting your Dad you will be supporting your mum too, that may sound strange but it is oh so true.
Hi lin1,
Thank you, it was a shock that he felt the need not to tell us although we knew Mum wasn't right if you know what I mean. Yes I'm very prepared to do whatever I need to but my biggest concern is my Dad being able to cope with looking after my Mum. How do I get the ball rolling regards a home help coming in?
hello @Trevorsmith44
a warm welcome to TP
it's tough when you live a fair distance from parents yet want to be there to support them - and I too had the 'we don't like to worry you' kind
maybe you can take on admin tasks such as looking into Lasting Powers of Attorney (for both of them), and Attendance Allowance (your mum might not yet be eligible but it's worth reading through to be prepared) as both can be accessed online
for an assessment of your mum's care needs contact their Local Authority Adult Services - a care package may include home care visits, day care at a centre, a sitter, respite, a visit by an OT to their home to suggest aids and adaptations
don't give any details of your mum's finances as a financial assessment should follow that for care needs
maybe ask your parents to give permission to their GP for them to be able to discuss matters with you and have this put on their records, so you can organise appointments etc
check out what is available in their area to let them know
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you
a warm welcome to TP
it's tough when you live a fair distance from parents yet want to be there to support them - and I too had the 'we don't like to worry you' kind
maybe you can take on admin tasks such as looking into Lasting Powers of Attorney (for both of them), and Attendance Allowance (your mum might not yet be eligible but it's worth reading through to be prepared) as both can be accessed online
for an assessment of your mum's care needs contact their Local Authority Adult Services - a care package may include home care visits, day care at a centre, a sitter, respite, a visit by an OT to their home to suggest aids and adaptations
don't give any details of your mum's finances as a financial assessment should follow that for care needs
maybe ask your parents to give permission to their GP for them to be able to discuss matters with you and have this put on their records, so you can organise appointments etc
check out what is available in their area to let them know
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you
