Mum Delusional for 6 days due to UTI

[Heather E]

Hi All
Just looking for some guidance to get me through the night - mum has been delusional due to UTI for 6 days - she lives with me, my husband and two children. We have just had the doctor our for the third time - he has given her diazepam and quetiapine and said we have to try and get through the night and if no better will call mental health team tomorrow. She now hates both my husband and I we can't get near her to help... as she thinks we got married ( which we did 23 years ago and she was there) and didn't invite her... any ideas how we get through the night
Do we just leave or or sit with her or what ....HELP

 

[Grannie G]

Hello Heather

If you can`t get through to your mother , don`t try. If she will be safe just leave her by herself as long as she is warm and comfortable. If things get too bad during the night dial 999 and take her to A&E.

 

[CollegeGirl]

Hi Heather - I agree with Sylvia. You can't do the impossible. Try to leave her if you can, and get some sleep if at all possible. Try to keep things normal for the sake of your children. If it all goes wrong, then 999.

Thinking of you and hope you get through the night successfully.

 

[Heather E]

Thank you Sylvia - we are doing our best to keep her and us safe

 

[Heather E]

Hi Heather - I agree with Sylvia. You can't do the impossible. Try to leave her if you can, and get some sleep if at all possible. Try to keep things normal for the sake of your children. If it all goes wrong, then 999.

Thinking of you and hope you get through the night successfully.

Thanks you - think it's going to be a long one

 

[Grannie G]

Thank you Sylvia - we are doing our best to keep her and us safe

Heather if you fear for your own and family`s safety dial 999 now for police or paramedics.

 

[Jessbow]

No advice, just to say I'm thinking of you.

hang on in there. xx

Hopefully Diazipan will knock her out for an hour or two

 

[Heather E]

Thank you Sylvia - we are doing our best to keep her and us safe

I've called for the doctor again she is becoming physically aggressive to both myself and my husband - bless her she so needs help

 

[Heather E]

No advice, just to say I'm thinking of you.

hang on in there. xx

Hopefully Diazipan will knock her out for an hour or two

Thanks Jess

 

[Grannie G]

Good. I`m glad to hear it.

 

[grobertson62]

I hope the diazapan is kicking in.
My dad needed hospital several times when he had uti. Was on intravenous antibiotics
I hope you get sorted.
The hallucinations can be horrendous
Gill

 

[Wigan]

I would question the Quetiapine as a doctor at the hospital gave it to my mum a few days ago and she went really agitated and angry. I have read a lot about this drug and it states everywhere that it should be given with caution to the elderly and in particular to people with dementia.

Hope everything settles down.

 

[Heather E]

I hope the diazapan is kicking in.
My dad needed hospital several times when he had uti. Was on intravenous antibiotics
I hope you get sorted.
The hallucinations can be horrendous
Gill

Thanks Gill - we are awaiting Doctor to come back out and Psychiatrist - 4 hours Im told !! The joys of living in beautiful Powys

 

[Heather E]

I would question the Quetiapine as a doctor at the hospital gave it to my mum a few days ago and she went really agitated and angry. I have read a lot about this drug and it states everywhere that it should be given with caution to the elderly and in particular to people with dementia.

Hope everything settles down.

Hi Wendy
Mum has been on Quetiapine off and on for over a year now - usually it does quieten her but not tonight as you say I think it may have even made it worse

 

[Izzy]

Your description of your mum could have been me speaking just over two years ago my mum lived with us for 5 years and had constant UTIs. Her behaviour on several occasions sounds just like your mum's - even to the extent if thinking we hadn't invited her to our wedding.

We got diazapam for her and sometimes it took the edge off. Two or three times she was hospitalised so she could get intravenous anti biotics.

I so remember these long nights waiting for the doctor. In the end she was out on a low dose of Risperidone.

I hope you get help soon. xx

 

[Heather E]

Hi Izzy
Exactly that we have been deceitful not invited her to the wedding and not introduced her to her grandchildren - I can't see us being able to cope with her at home any longer ?
Me and my family have given up our lives to care for her and now we seem to be making her worse

Your description of your mum could have been me speaking just over two years ago my mum lived with us for 5 years and had constant UTIs. Her behaviour on several occasions sounds just like your mum's - even to the extent if thinking we hadn't invited her to our wedding.

We got diazapam for her and sometimes it took the edge off. Two or three times she was hospitalised so she could get intravenous anti biotics.

I so remember these long nights waiting for the doctor. In the end she was out on a low dose of Risperidone.

I hope you get help soon. xx

 

[FifiMo]

Hiya Heather,

Like Izzy said, this could also have been my mum. She, on more than one occasion, brought her local hospital to its knees when she had a UTI! For her too, Risperidone proved to be the miracle drug, but not before she had confronted everyone! She escaped, was found on a bus, went out the fire escape and set the fire alarms off. Got her back to bed, then alarms went off again when she decided to smoke in her bathroom. One thing, if it is any comfort, is that mum remembered all the incidents but as though she was in a dream, she said. She laughed when we said "That was no dream!" The only way we could get her to calm down a bit was by singing songs. We would ask her what the words were to various songs, mostly children's type songs or hymns. At 3am on her chart in the hospital it said Dr arrived to sedate Audrey. She advised that she would sue if he dared try. At 4am it had same note. 5am still no sedation but she was calmer, teaching them 'Jesus loves me'. 6am still refusing sedation. Dr suggested taking her for a walk to see if that would tire her out! 8am they phoned us to come and watch her as they didn't have enough staff! LOL. We can laugh now looking back, but at the time she was manic! Once she was on risperidone, it was like another person. This cheery, happy old lady appeared. I would certainly consider asking about this for your mum.

I hope things improve soon for you all.

Fiona

 

[Izzy]

Fiona. You win!!!! What a nightmare. Mum used to sing as well. 3am - 'there's a boaby in yer lobby Mary Anne!'

Sorry not funny when you're going through it though is it?

 

[Cfduti]

If you can`t get through to your mother , don`t try. If she will be safe just leave her by herself as long as she is warm and comfortable. If things get too bad during the night dial 999 and take her to A&E.

I did exactly this. It was heart-wrenching for me but that was/are my feelings. I could/can no longer give her the care that she needs. Mum is now in the system/process. She sundowns but they are coping well,
I'm getting the break that I didn't realise just how much I needed and can now see that it is the right thing for mum.
She, during the good days, is very happy and thinks her new home is wonderful and there are so many nice people there. She's "just got a sore back and is a bit forgetful, no other problems".
The staff know what is going on and deal with it professionally.
I'm getting a good perspective on things and when she is settled into the next phase will continue to visit and take her out, knowing that she is getting the care that she needs by people who are professional carers and can leave work at work.

It's been hard to get to this point but TP has helped a lot. I'm very grateful.
I don't feel guilty any more.

Peace. Be Happy.

 

[Noorza]

How did you get through the night Heather? Honestly I'd have called 999 and got the ambulance out, when mum has had UTI's she's needed to be in hospital on antibiotic drips.

I hope you have managed to get some sleep.