Mum & Dad - both diagnosed with Dementia

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by honeybears, Oct 19, 2015.

  1. honeybears

    honeybears Registered User

    Oct 18, 2014
    41
    Hampshire
    From my previous thread - Dad had his assessment with OPMH and was immediately diagnosed as having Dementia - probably Alzheimers at this stage but will not know for sure until a CT scan is carried out.

    I thought having one parent with Dementia was bad luck - I never in a million years thought both my parents would be diagnosed with the same illness and such a short time apart.

    Last year we were trying to cope with Mum's diagnosis and the decision I had to make to place her into care - I did not expect one year later to be starting the whole process again with Dad.

    At least this time around I have nothing to fear - I understand the process, the symptoms and where this will all end but to think I would end up with both my parents suffering from such a horrible illness and ending their days in care was something I had never contemplated.

    Dad is still able to live at home on his own with outside help at the moment, but from what I have seen in the past two months since the seriousness of his mental state was highlighted I am not sure how long that will be for, but if anything like Mum, by this time next year I will be visiting both of them in care.
     
  2. Bessieb

    Bessieb Registered User

    Jun 2, 2014
    108
    I feel your pain honeybears. Both of my parents have Alzheimers. Diagnosed 14 months apart and deteriorated at roughly the same rate. They are now in a CH together.
    Would the CH your Mum is in take your Dad too when the time comes? At least then they would be together and you could take some comfort in that. This helps me enormously thinking they are together.
     
  3. snowygirl

    snowygirl Registered User

    Jan 9, 2014
    151
    I sympathise too honeybears as both my parents are diagnosed and we've just put dad into a home and its all so very hard. My mum is carrying on alone at home but for how long who knows? It does seem so very hard when this happens because it means that one parent cannot help and support the other like they should be able to and would want to if they were not ill themselves with this dreadful disease. We put dad in a care home 10 mins walk from mum but yesterday she said she may not visit for a while as he just keeps saying he wants to go home. She just cannot deal with this because of her dementia but now I'm thinking dad would have been better nearer his children. Its so so hard but many people on TP are in the same situation and are here to offer advice. Good luck.
     
  4. Linbrusco

    Linbrusco Registered User

    Mar 4, 2013
    1,587
    Female
    Auckland...... New Zealand
    My Mum was diagnosed witn Alzheimers just over 2 yrs ago.
    Dad diagnosed with cognitive impairment ( debatable from the behaviors I have seen)
    It is very trying at best of times because Dad does not understand, why Mum says and does things.... Or Alzheimers full stop. Isn't for want of trying with several visits from our Alz Key Worker, and information for him to read. Makes for a lot of arguments :(

    So far Mum is at home. My parents live in their own house behind ours.
    I shudder to think how things would have been if they were still living in their old house.
    Suffice to say, Mum has declined comsiderably in recent months and although I have said all along Mum can only stay at home for as long as Dad can cope, barring any accidents or wandering, but lately I have wondered how much more I can cope with.
     
  5. honeybears

    honeybears Registered User

    Oct 18, 2014
    41
    Hampshire
    Thank you for your kinds words - I am hoping that when the time comes, the care home will be able to take Dad as well - as you say it would be a comfort to know that they are together - the thought of them being in separate care homes is something I don't want to consider but at the end of the day it would be what is best for both of them individually as well as a couple.
     
  6. honeybears

    honeybears Registered User

    Oct 18, 2014
    41
    Hampshire
    Thank you - as with your Mum, I do not know how long Dad will be able to stay at home on his own, even with outside help - when Mum was diagnosed she did have Dad at home to help - unfortunately Dad doesn't have anyone with him all day as Mum did and he doesn't take kindly to outside help but we are only at the beginning of his diagnosis so any help that is offered, I will ensure he takes if it is best for him.
     

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