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Mum cried so much when I took her back to the CH today

SarahL

Registered User
Dec 1, 2012
229
Thank you, Sarah, and I may take you up on that.

So if it's okay to ask (and you needn't talk about it if you'd rather not), how are you doing about ideas about visiting with your mum?
Hi Amy, I've taken Mum out to a department store to have a look around and for lunch which she enjoyed. Also the other day when I went to see her the weather was really nice (for a change!) and I took her for a walk in the gardens of the CH. We sat on a bench and chatted which was lovely. I am hoping they will start taking her outside a lot more at the CH soon with spring coming to do gardening and sit in the fresh air. I will probably take her to garden centres with spring coming too, as she loves plants (and can still recite names of lots of them including the latin names!). How are you doing? x
 

Amy in the US

Registered User
Feb 28, 2015
4,617
USA
Rats, I was typing a nice long reply and somehow got timed out and lost it all. I will try again, and save as I type, this time.

I like the department store idea and may try that with my mother. She used to love to shop, but hasn't been interested for a couple of years, but worst case we could look at things for a bit and then eat lunch.

I've seen several other mentions of garden centres as places for outings and you must have much nicer garden centres in the UK than we do in the States! Mostly we have big chain hardware stores with a small outdoor section of plants in nice weather and then a few independently owned businesses with greenhouses. Adequate, but not a place to spend time and certainly no lunch on offer. Once a friend took me to a lovely place with acres of land, lush gardens and mature trees and landscaping, and a quaint old glasshouse that had been converted to a cafe and served fantastic food. I imagine all your garden centres like that one! (And perhaps we do have better places and I just don't know where they are.)

I think if your mum likes plants you should go for the "plant therapy;" at worst it'd be some fresh air. The weather here is finally getting nicer so I am hoping my mother will be willing to go outside a bit more. She is reluctant to venture outside if there's any hint of "too cold" or "too hot" or any sort of bad weather. We've had two long, cold winters here and that seems to stay with her.

I'd like to say I'm doing fine, and I'm certainly managing, but there are difficult days and times. Mostly I'm still trying to work my way through a sea of paperwork and to get all the bills/financial/legal/medical things sorted. I know it will get better but it seems never ending at times.

Also my husband and I are still trying to get my mother's place cleaned out/up so that someday (soon?) we can put it on the market; she will need the money for her care. We also have a vehicle to sell. The car and the home are a hundred miles from where we live, so it's mostly weekends when we make that trip.

BUT there is always company, advice, and solace here on TP. Thank goodness!
 

SarahL

Registered User
Dec 1, 2012
229
Rats, I was typing a nice long reply and somehow got timed out and lost it all. I will try again, and save as I type, this time.

I like the department store idea and may try that with my mother. She used to love to shop, but hasn't been interested for a couple of years, but worst case we could look at things for a bit and then eat lunch.

I've seen several other mentions of garden centres as places for outings and you must have much nicer garden centres in the UK than we do in the States! Mostly we have big chain hardware stores with a small outdoor section of plants in nice weather and then a few independently owned businesses with greenhouses. Adequate, but not a place to spend time and certainly no lunch on offer. Once a friend took me to a lovely place with acres of land, lush gardens and mature trees and landscaping, and a quaint old glasshouse that had been converted to a cafe and served fantastic food. I imagine all your garden centres like that one! (And perhaps we do have better places and I just don't know where they are.)

I think if your mum likes plants you should go for the "plant therapy;" at worst it'd be some fresh air. The weather here is finally getting nicer so I am hoping my mother will be willing to go outside a bit more. She is reluctant to venture outside if there's any hint of "too cold" or "too hot" or any sort of bad weather. We've had two long, cold winters here and that seems to stay with her.

I'd like to say I'm doing fine, and I'm certainly managing, but there are difficult days and times. Mostly I'm still trying to work my way through a sea of paperwork and to get all the bills/financial/legal/medical things sorted. I know it will get better but it seems never ending at times.

Also my husband and I are still trying to get my mother's place cleaned out/up so that someday (soon?) we can put it on the market; she will need the money for her care. We also have a vehicle to sell. The car and the home are a hundred miles from where we live, so it's mostly weekends when we make that trip.

BUT there is always company, advice, and solace here on TP. Thank goodness!
Hi Amy, sorry for the delay, I have been trying to get some assignments done for uni. I think the garden centres are definitely a good outing for our Mums, hope you can find a nice one. The ones in England all generally have a great tea room which makes for a good trip out especially after looking at all the plants and gifts, as they all tend to have gift shops attached to them too. I am going to take Mum on Weds so will let you know how that goes. I popped in to see her for an hour and a half tonight and we had a tea and chatted in the lounge. Whilst there I found out my older sister, who played no part in my Mum's illness and visited her less than once a year, has written to the care home, providing a history of my Mum and saying the CH can call her any time if they require any information. I feel really upset and very angry at this because it is underhand. She never even took my mum a bag of shopping, to any appointments or visited her during her illness. She does live about a 4 hour drive away but over all the years her visits were about one a year. I think I'm going to post a thread about this as I feel very upset as I have been the one that's done all the hard work with care and love and confusion and desperation.

Anyway, I know how you feel about sorting all the bills out and everything. I am doing this for my Mum and it's a lot to manage on top of thinking about what to do with the house and possessions etc. I'm glad you have a partner to help you. ALso I know exactly how it feels to be timed out on here, that happened to me once and is so frustrating!

I hope the weather warms up with you soon and then you can take your Mum out without her feeling cold - Sometimes it's impossible to do anything right I find! I too am so relieved to find solace and advice on TP. Sarah x