Hi, my mum and dad have been in a lovely care home for four months, ostensibly for my mum to recover from shingles. Mum is 90, dad is 99. Since being there she has been diagnosed with a form of Alzheimer's and is deteriorating quite quickly. She has hated being in the home (my dad loves it as he gets well fed and feels very safe), is not happy with anything from the staff to the view (both of which are lovely) and has now started to get aggressive, banging her hands on the windows, shouting at my dad, saying that she is being kept there against her will and wandering off. As it is not a dementia home, she is having to be moved, something my siblings and I knew would eventually come. We have found somewhere and she is due to be moved there on Monday. My dad knows and I think is quite relieved although he may change his mind in a few weeks when he has been without her a while. We are all extremely anxious about the actual process. What do we say to her? She will be devastated about being parted from dad who has said that even if the new home has a place in the "normal" bit, he doesn't want to go with her. I was thinking of saying that as she obviously was not happy where she was, we had found her somewhere that we thought she would like better and that dad would be following shortly. I hate lying but if she thinks she is being taken from dad she will never get in the car. What do we do if she gets hysterical and refuses? How do you move people when they are like that? It is such a horrible situation for us and for her and I am dreading Monday. Any advice would be most appreciated. Thank you.