Hi All,
My mum has been in a dementia unit in a care home for the past 6 months. They spoke to me yesterday and said due to mum's challenging behaviour they can't care for her anymore. I totally understand as mum is becoming aggressive and she has hurt other residents and from what I can understand that when this happens it gets reported to social services. They said yesterday morning it has been reported 5 times and that is the limit and she needs to move to a specialised one to one care dementia nursing home. She is also refusing to use the toilet and urinating on the floor, chairs and sofas or anywhere she can but refuses to go to the toilet and now also is refusing all personal care. It is just so sad how this horrible disease changes people so much.
I am unsure what to do next. This will be the 3rd time we have had to move her in 7 months. 1st was on Christmas Eve when she lived at home with a live in carer who she hit with her walking stick before trying to climb out her bedroom window. An emergency meeting was called with the doctor and social services and they said she had to go into a temporary home for 2 weeks to assess her. We then moved her from there as it was really quite distressing as it was EMI and a young people mental health home and very loud and she was just drugged and slurring her speech. We moved her 200 miles into a fabulous dementia place 10 minutes from my brother and a lot closer to me and now we have to move her again. I really want this to be the last time as it is not fair on anyone all around.
The question is who will tell me what she actually needs. The new homes we have contacted all say possibly, but they will need to assess her. The old home she has to be moved asap and I don't know exactly what she needs. I am thinking of trying to contact the social services, the dementia team, the behavioural team or the mental health team but don't know which is best to talk to.
If anyone has been through this and has got any advice I would really appreciate it.
Many thanks
Ruth
My mum has been in a dementia unit in a care home for the past 6 months. They spoke to me yesterday and said due to mum's challenging behaviour they can't care for her anymore. I totally understand as mum is becoming aggressive and she has hurt other residents and from what I can understand that when this happens it gets reported to social services. They said yesterday morning it has been reported 5 times and that is the limit and she needs to move to a specialised one to one care dementia nursing home. She is also refusing to use the toilet and urinating on the floor, chairs and sofas or anywhere she can but refuses to go to the toilet and now also is refusing all personal care. It is just so sad how this horrible disease changes people so much.
I am unsure what to do next. This will be the 3rd time we have had to move her in 7 months. 1st was on Christmas Eve when she lived at home with a live in carer who she hit with her walking stick before trying to climb out her bedroom window. An emergency meeting was called with the doctor and social services and they said she had to go into a temporary home for 2 weeks to assess her. We then moved her from there as it was really quite distressing as it was EMI and a young people mental health home and very loud and she was just drugged and slurring her speech. We moved her 200 miles into a fabulous dementia place 10 minutes from my brother and a lot closer to me and now we have to move her again. I really want this to be the last time as it is not fair on anyone all around.
The question is who will tell me what she actually needs. The new homes we have contacted all say possibly, but they will need to assess her. The old home she has to be moved asap and I don't know exactly what she needs. I am thinking of trying to contact the social services, the dementia team, the behavioural team or the mental health team but don't know which is best to talk to.
If anyone has been through this and has got any advice I would really appreciate it.
Many thanks
Ruth