lol Seems that what talking point is all about, but I get your point .So good to read that you had a good Visit .
Also that your mum
Quote "spoke a lot (her version of it) and made a lot of eye contact" quote.
Take care xx
Mum and me
- Thread starter Canadian Joanne
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lol Seems that what talking point is all about, but I get your point .So good to read that you had a good Visit .
Also that your mum
Quote "spoke a lot (her version of it) and made a lot of eye contact" quote.
Take care xx
Mum is still eating quite slowly and I am equally slowly getting used to it.
My aunt has resurfaced yet again. I received an agitated voicemail from her Saturday. She was complaining that they are not getting Mum out of bed early enough and Mum is soiling herself. The staff then clean Mum up and put her in her wheelchair. I've been given to understand that they have been having a lot of trouble toileting Mum and have been waiting for her to have a bowel movement and then cleaning her etc. Mum is holding her legs crossed and in such a way that toileting is extremely difficult. I have emailed the co-ordinator and we'll see what comes of it.
I do understand my aunt's agitation on this but what can the alternative be? Mum cannot hold herself upright. It's just very difficult all around.
I won't respond to my aunt. That way lies madness and high blood pressure for me.
My aunt has resurfaced yet again. I received an agitated voicemail from her Saturday. She was complaining that they are not getting Mum out of bed early enough and Mum is soiling herself. The staff then clean Mum up and put her in her wheelchair. I've been given to understand that they have been having a lot of trouble toileting Mum and have been waiting for her to have a bowel movement and then cleaning her etc. Mum is holding her legs crossed and in such a way that toileting is extremely difficult. I have emailed the co-ordinator and we'll see what comes of it.
I do understand my aunt's agitation on this but what can the alternative be? Mum cannot hold herself upright. It's just very difficult all around.
I won't respond to my aunt. That way lies madness and high blood pressure for me.
Not to forget the possible murder charge. Mind you, I think you could get it down to manslaughter or even justifiable homicide.
Seriously, though, it does sound as if the home trying to manage a difficult presentation. I'm not saying it's by any means ideal, but it is what it is and at least they aren't simply leaving her because they are uncaring but are taking a less than perfect but possibly the only workable approach.
I know, I have to be a good girl.Seriously, over the last couple of years I have made it clear that since the home won't allow me to ban my aunt, they have to deal with her. All done with a smile of course. They really are making an effort, at least the co-ordinator is.
Grannie G said:
Yes, the girls are having a lot of trouble. Plus, I don't think the leg crossing itself is good for Mum's circulation.
Mum is keeping one hand clenched quite often now. I stretch her hand out and massage it a bit but we will have to think about putting some padding in at some point.
Does not get any easier does it? At the start of the clenching of the hand I knitted a caterpillar which proved useful both to keeping the hand semi open and as a weapon if someone invaded his space. Sadly now his hand is too tightly clentched. I have so far knitted a further 23, some for the summer fete and the rest as presents to the carers who said they would like one.
Glad you have relinquished responsibility of Auntie
Glad you have relinquished responsibility of Auntie
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Perhaps your aunt (I assume your mum's sister?) is going through that inward raging against the illness and just denying to herself that the illness is actually doing such things to her? Because in accepting these things, she will have to face the inevitable outcome, and so realise that your mum is getting closer and closer to the end of her life - it doesn't make it easier for you as her daughter, but it must also be hard for a sibling to watch her sister.
I seem to remember someone (Padraig maybe?) when his wife reached the stage where her hands would clench inwards, he made pads - quite firm ones, but soft covers - I think maybe cotton wool rolled and covered in something. And he would put those in her hands, to stop them clenching. The clenching (and leg crossing) is a physical part of the disease in it's end stages.
Wishing you tranquility Joanne, as you try and sail your little boat through these stormy seas!
I seem to remember someone (Padraig maybe?) when his wife reached the stage where her hands would clench inwards, he made pads - quite firm ones, but soft covers - I think maybe cotton wool rolled and covered in something. And he would put those in her hands, to stop them clenching. The clenching (and leg crossing) is a physical part of the disease in it's end stages.
Wishing you tranquility Joanne, as you try and sail your little boat through these stormy seas!
LadyA, I have posted extensively about my aunt (yes, my mother's sister) since I joined in 2005. The kindest thing I can say is that she is not a very clever woman, in fact, she's quite the opposite. She thinks she knows better than anyone, certainly better than me when it comes to my mother and she's been like this consistently for the last nearly 15 years.
My aunt is long divorced, has no children, no friends and very little family she gets on with. As my sister says, my mother's illness has given her a reason to live. However, she stresses me enormously and I now simply avoid her like the proverbial plague.
She does have some entertainment value, as she has some unusual (!) theories. One of my favourites is how drinking water will really help cure Alzheimer's. You can judge the rest for yourself.
Ah- I met a woman one time who sincerely believed that if you sneezed or coughed after swallowing something, then you were allergic to that substance. She wouldn't drink water. Fruit juice only. Because she once coughed after swallowing water.
Not enough to occupy themselves constructively I suppose.
Boggles the mind, doesn't it? I'm intrigued as to how that woman rationalized drinking coffee or tea, which are essentially flavoured water. Not to mention fruit juices, ice lollies, milk and the fact that just about every food has water in it.
Well, if she didn't cough or sneeze...! The same woman used to feel "negativity " somehow getting on her from other people - even if it was someone else talking to the "negative " person on the phone! From her reaction, it seems this negativity is like pollen and will get on your clothes - because she would stand up and ostentatiously brush the negative vibes off! And apparently feel much better. The rest of us certainly felt more hilarious as a result of the performance anyway!
My mother seems to have developed another tic. She is now coughing a great deal but it is not a choking cough. She'll start coughing for no apparent reason, as she's not eating or drinking. As you can imagine, it makes feeding her an even longer process as I have to encourage her to stop coughing. This coughing is quite unlike what she was doing when her fluids were not thickened. I have to be honest and say I find it quite frustrating. I realize she can't help it. She went through nearly a year of throat-clearing every minute about 10 years ago.
It's odd how these tics develop, even at this late stage.
It's odd how these tics develop, even at this late stage.
At the risk of being like "auntie" and pretending to have an answer
Your mum may not be eating and drinking when she coughs, but she is swallowing spit regularly. We all do don't we....
Sounds such a hard time for you. I wish I had magic supportive words for you xxxxx
Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
Your mum may not be eating and drinking when she coughs, but she is swallowing spit regularly. We all do don't we....
Sounds such a hard time for you. I wish I had magic supportive words for you xxxxx
Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
At one point a speech therapist did say that some of the coughing was not from choking but from habit. I have been successful at times in getting Mum to stop by either distracting her or telling her (over and over) to stop coughing. I think the staff just wait for her to stop.
2jays said:
Yes, I am bearing that in mind. I have noticed though that there is a difference in her coughing. When she's actually choking, her face turns quite red. When she's just coughing, it doesn't.
BTW, 2jays, you would have to up the eccentric behaviour and ideas by a factor of at least 1000 to sound like "auntie".
At one point a speech therapist did say that some of the coughing was not from choking but from habit. I have been successful at times in getting Mum to stop by either distracting her or telling her (over and over) to stop coughing. I think the staff just wait for her to stop.
Yes, I am bearing that in mind. I have noticed though that there is a difference in her coughing. When she's actually choking, her face turns quite red. When she's just coughing, it doesn't.
BTW, 2jays, you would have to up the eccentric behaviour and ideas by a factor of at least 1000 to sound like "auntie".
Should we keep trying? :-D
William had aspiration pneumonia, and his swallow had gone very poor. I remember a doctor at the hospital did mention that while food could be pureed and liquids thickened, there was nothing that could be done about his saliva, which could cause a problem.
Very frustrating feeding Friday night initially. Mum kept coughing and talking her gibberish even when she had food in her mouth. I found myself getting very tense and angry. Rudi (OH) left the room early on as he finds it quite difficult to watch. After about 15 minutes, she settled a bit for a while and I was able to feed her. I didn't get all the water in her as she started coughing again, but at the point, the water was the only thing left. She had had her meal, a glass of milk and a glass of juice. I was happy to leave well enough alone.
I wish I wouldn't get so stressed and angry. It's not her fault, she can't help it and I know that. But unfortunately, knowing it doesn't seem to help me lately.
I wish I wouldn't get so stressed and angry. It's not her fault, she can't help it and I know that. But unfortunately, knowing it doesn't seem to help me lately.
