1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. perfectpatience

    perfectpatience Registered User

    Oct 3, 2006
    64
    Essex
    I think what has really baffled me with this illness is that my mum was such a keen gardener and loved flowers so much. Now she is not one bit interested in any of it, and sometimes when we sit in the garden I try to point out different flowers or talk about the garden but she does not respond in any way. I would love to see the love of flowers in her eyes like she used to. I wonder what is actually going through her brain. I hope and pray it is not as bad as I think it is or what Iam going through for her.
     
  2. clare

    clare Registered User

    Oct 7, 2005
    31
    gardening

    Hi

    My mum was just the same. She loved her bedding plants and the lawn was always cut at least twice a week. But in the time before she went to the nursing home she tried to set plants but didnt know how, and she only moaned at my dad for spending too much time outside. she coudnt see the point anymore.
    Such a pity

    Love clare
     
  3. Kathleen

    Kathleen Registered User

    Mar 12, 2005
    639
    West Sussex
    My Mum was always a very keen gardener but that stopped, she didn't know the difference between weeds and flowers, and went berserk when my sister tried to prune her roses, accusing her of killing them.

    My husband bought her flowers every week, but they were never put in water unless Dad or I did it, she seemed not to recognise them any more, as happened with so many other everyday objects and, of course, people.

    I don't think it ever bothered her, just us.

    If your Mum seems reasonably calm, try not to worry too much about her, their reality seems to be so very different to ours, all we can hope is that it is not a distressing one for them.
     
  4. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,417
    I'm another one with a mother who was a keen gardener but who no longer has anything but the mildest curiosity about "nature". I think it's just that external things become less and less important.

    Jennifer
     
  5. perfectpatience

    perfectpatience Registered User

    Oct 3, 2006
    64
    Essex
    As we are all aware our mums can go back years even now remembering places and situations....which amazes me why she cant remember the love she had of flowers and a beautiful garden....her home has such beautiful grounds...but she hardly notices. Another lady in the home is about at the same stage as my mum....but I notice she really perks up if she sees a child....yet can sit motionless most of the time. Her daughter tells me her mother always loved children...and even now it still shows. The only reaction I see with mum is if my younger brother visits (always her favourite) and her eyes light up. This makes my eyes water....will I ever get hardened to all of this?
     
  6. janjan

    janjan Registered User

    Jan 27, 2006
    229
    Birmingham
    No i dont think we will ever get hardened to it. Dad loved his garden, he was allways buying new plants. But sadley it got so i couldnt even take him to sit in the garden, without him telling me it was dangerous to sit out because he didnt like the grass. It frightened him to sit outside, we never did find out why. :confused: Janet :confused:
     

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