Mum always in distress.

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by alang, Mar 1, 2018.

  1. alang

    alang Registered User

    Jul 31, 2017
    47
    Male
    Leicestershire
    My mum has now been resident in her care home for one year & I'm pleased to say she's still thriving there. I'm very pleased by how well she seems when I visit. She's still mobile & impressively articulate. Her short term memory has, of course, completely abandoned her, but she can still hold a conversation & appears to have been doing some knitting. We can converse very easily when I visit - within her altered reality where her parents are still away on holiday & her son (I'm still 'her brother') visits when he can. In fact we get on far better now than we did when she was at home, with her having lost the anger she seemed to have developed against the world. She's like my mum again, sharing with me all the silly things we used to say to each other. I'd be very interested to learn exactly where she figures on the 'dementia spectrum', as she seems quite unlike most of her companions at the care home. There's still a good deal of her personality intact. So many of the worrying things, like there being a baby in the house to look after & a wayward spouse not having come home - all purely fictional of course - have disappeared with being in a place with other people.
     
  2. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Registered User

    Apr 1, 2016
    3,156
    Nottinghamshire
    I'm glad you've got your mum back @alang. It sounds as though she's in a happy place now.

    My dad's personality would often shine through until the very late stages - even though he didn't have a clue what was going on!

    Enjoy these moments :)
     
  3. Sirena

    Sirena Registered User

    Feb 27, 2018
    1,755
    Female
    That's good to hear @alang I am glad to hear how well it is working out.

    There are residents at various stages at my mother's CH, many seem to be more advanced than her but when they have the right prompts some will spark up.
     
  4. alang

    alang Registered User

    Jul 31, 2017
    47
    Male
    Leicestershire
    It's really amazed me how good moving to the home has been for mum. Of course her faculties can only deteriorate, but she's happier now than she's been for years, even before she showed signs of dementia. She loves to sit near her 'boyfriend', a frail chap with limited communication who, she says, comes to her house every day & takes her out, sometimes on his bike! It's great just to sit & go along with it all, without having to remind her to do this & that, like I had to when she was on her own.
     
  5. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,709
    Female
    South coast
    Your story is very much like my mum @alang

    My mum became quite paranoid in her own home, worrying that her husband (died 30 years previously) was having an affair, that people were coming in through locked doors and stealing from her, that the school above her bungalow made such a lot of noise and that she had to go home to her parents. Once she settled in her care home she lost all of this and became much happier. Yes, she still lived in an alternative reality where the queen came to visit and she had just been holiday, but the old mum shone through and she became a lot of fun to visit. Although her last year was marred by a lot of illness, she had two good years in her care home and she retained her personality right up to the end.

    I too feel that moving mum to her care home was the best thing that happened to mum.
     

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