Much needed help has arrived

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Gabea, Feb 26, 2015.

  1. Gabea

    Gabea Registered User

    Sep 25, 2008
    5
    BEDFORDSHIRE
    I want to shout hurray from the rooftop but I'm not good with heights so have posted this instead!!
    On Tuesday after much paperwork and organizing we have a 5 day live-in carer for mum and her partner Ernie. I will be doing the other 48 hours. I can't tell you what a relief it is that I will get a bit of a life back. Keeping everything crossed it will all work out and that our new carer will want to stay. It has been an emotional few days with our other carers finishing this week, they are all sad to say bye bye, they all say that mum & Ernie are their favourite clients - I've been bought flowers too which is really nice, the carers have always been there for me too on bad days. We may still use them from time to time so hopefully contact won't be lost completely. I have to say our local social services have been helpful in setting this up but I've done a lot of leg work too - most of care has been funded with direct payments. So once we have established a new routine there's going to be a few paper days with my girlie friends. There's always light. If anyone needs any hints or tips, like many carers on tp I think I'm suitably qualified to help in some way. Keep you spirits up & carry on caring everyone. :D
     
  2. meme

    meme Registered User

    Aug 29, 2011
    1,955
    Female
    London
    it's great to have something work out...well done to you
     
  3. Maldives13

    Maldives13 Registered User

    Feb 4, 2014
    164
    Hi. I would be interested to know, if you don't mind me asking how you set it up with direct payments?
    My mum is entitled to 4 x 30 minute visits a day. We now have some community access hours as well - just 6. But all of these wouldn't be enough to fund live in care. Is your mum and partner both entitled to care? I would love an overnight or live on Carer but social services have said no.
    Hope you didn't mind me asking
     
  4. Gabea

    Gabea Registered User

    Sep 25, 2008
    5
    BEDFORDSHIRE
    Direct payments

    Hi Maldives 13, I believe anyone can ask for direct payments to arrange and pay for care rather than your local authority organising it. Both mum and her partner were assessed and then we used an agency, they both contributed (and still do) as well. Every few weeks we have to send in bank statements and receipts, etc. to show how the money is being spent. Mum's partner was quite poorly over xmas which meant he wasn't able to keep an eye on mum between carer visits & his mobility, etc. was getting to be an issue before xmas too. They were assessed again as needing 24/7 care and awarded more money to pay for this, although it still isn't enough (though I suspect better money wise for them both to go into a home, which we didn't want anyway). The upshot is I am doing 48 hours + organising other stuff like shopping, appointments, etc. Maybe you need to get another assessment for your mum, if she lives on her own - is she safe? Leaving mum and her partner on their own would be like leaving two small children to fend for themselves! I think we have been very lucky to get this help but it has taken a while to get it in place, I also gave up my business last year as it was too much, I'm quite lucky we could afford to do this. Personally I do believe family should help care for their own but it's not always an option - we've a good balance now with some & some. My mum was first diagnosed with late onset AD in Aug/Sept 2007 so it has been a hard slog but what alternative is there? I hope you are able to get more help, you have to really push for everything there is available. You should get a carers assessment for yourself if you haven't had one done already as you could be entitled to some help/respite. Good luck.
     
  5. Maldives13

    Maldives13 Registered User

    Feb 4, 2014
    164
    Hi gabea. Thanks very much for this. Social worker been out recently and said they won't fund overnight care. They are considering a care home which my mum doesn't want and nor do I. Thankfully Mum still has mental capacity and said she doesn't want this. She does quite well but has huge family support.
    Thanks for all your really helpful advice. There are 3 sisters so guess we are lucky although one of my sisters is no longer able to help. My sister and I between us spend every day with her.
    I may ask social services if she can get any more help . Thanks again
     

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