Moving on

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
81,447
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Kent
What a lovely post @Elaine68

It really is up to us how we shape our lives when we need to and you are trying hard.

I do hope you enjoy your new kitchen when it is done.
 

Loopiloo

Registered User
May 10, 2010
6,117
0
Scotland
@Elaine68. It is a joy to read your latest update Elaine! All sounds good and yes there will be down times, but more up times.

Your new kitchen will I am sure give you a lot of pleasure and within a few weeks you might find yourself struggling to remember the previous one! Even although there's an emotional attachment as Gordon did it. He would be happy for you in the new one.

With Spring hopefully a few weeks away the garden will be both a challenge and an achievement once you have it as you want it, and to be enjoyed throughout the summer.

Keep on going Elaine, and all best wishes to you.

Loo xx
 

Elaine68

Registered User
Jul 20, 2017
136
0
Sheffield
I had this guy come yesterday to do the final check on the kitchen before they start he said I will do a gas check fine but then he said I am capping your gas boiler off its dangerous. It's only been in about 2 yrs and serviced every year something to do with the pressure but he said it was connected to the wrong piping so, I now have no heating, no hot water, cannot have a shower as it runs of the boiler, I am living in a heap with my microwave surrounded by boxes apart from them trying to kill me off I am fine welcome to my world.
What else can go wrong the house fall down! Lol.
The joys of life!

Love to all I will keep you posted.
Elaine x
 

Marcelle123

Registered User
Nov 9, 2015
4,865
0
Yorkshire
Oh dear!
Is this checker a gas technician? What about the firm who serviced it? How could they pass it if it wasn't okay?
Dismaying news. I do hope you get it sorted soon, Elaine. Very best wishes xx
 
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Elaine68

Registered User
Jul 20, 2017
136
0
Sheffield
Well just had to get back to you on my situation it's a laugh! I got on to the people doing the kitchen work to find out what they are doing about the boiler because this is council property the council must see to it anyway the council have been and they say there is nothing wrong with it so he's uncapped it again.
So, now I am wondering what is this kitchen going to be like when done the kitchen people are contractors the council have got to do the houses up oh boy!
Let the fun begin!

Watch this space!
Elaine xx
 

Marcelle123

Registered User
Nov 9, 2015
4,865
0
Yorkshire
Crumbs!
What a worry for you - one lot saying something is unsafe, and someone else saying the reverse.
And a lot of hanging about too, I dare say.
Hope everything is okay now, anyway, and do have a nice weekend (and tell us all about it!) xx
 
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Marcelle123

Registered User
Nov 9, 2015
4,865
0
Yorkshire
I'm going away this week for a few days, so won't be able to follow your thread.
Wishing you a good week, Elaine, and that your kitchen will turn out beautiful and help to raise your spirits. xx
 

Elaine68

Registered User
Jul 20, 2017
136
0
Sheffield
How are you getting on, Elaine? Hope the kitchen work is going well? xx

Hi Marcelle,
I am fine sorry I have not been posting this kitchen is starting to be a nightmare honest 2 guys turned up Wednesday and stripped the kitchen out plus door frames what a mess put it this way no need to wash the floor.
Then the guy who said the gas boiler was not save decided to change the piping to the boiler and takes off

Thursday I got free so I thought right clip the dogs coats and give them a shower after all that I was shattered so thought I will jump in the shower Friday morning before the next lot of guy's turn up oh yes! the water was stone cold so when the electricians turned up he said there is no gas going in the boiler so he rang to get someone back for me

From 8.00am to 4.00pm all I could hear was this drilling for the rewiring so one noisy day and the same guy comes back for the boiler and says it's blown a gasket it was fine till he messed with it in the first place anyway he got it going.

To top the lot I then get 8 guys marching in saying I have got Asbestos under the floor tiles and they are coming tomorrow to dig the kitchen floor up it's a laugh with them I am not really sure if they know what they are doing
but they have this report in front of them saying in 2014 no traces of Asbestos found so where this as come from I do not know at the end of all this I might have a new kitchen but the house might then fall down haha.

So glad Gordon is not here to suffer the upset of all this I don't think I could have coped with caring for him and this mess I am living in I would have been pulling my hair out.

So I have just not been on here as I have been dropping into bed at 9pm shattered why I am so tired I don't know because I cannot clean up down stairs I only have a small square to sit in not to worry it will get done one day we hope.

Hope you had a good few days away!

Will try and get on a bit more but they turn the electricity off and my internet goes down will have to get the jungle drums out.

Love and hugs
Elaine xx
 

Marcelle123

Registered User
Nov 9, 2015
4,865
0
Yorkshire
Hi Marcelle,
I am fine sorry I have not been posting this kitchen is starting to be a nightmare honest 2 guys turned up Wednesday and stripped the kitchen out plus door frames what a mess put it this way no need to wash the floor.
Then the guy who said the gas boiler was not save decided to change the piping to the boiler and takes off

Thursday I got free so I thought right clip the dogs coats and give them a shower after all that I was shattered so thought I will jump in the shower Friday morning before the next lot of guy's turn up oh yes! the water was stone cold so when the electricians turned up he said there is no gas going in the boiler so he rang to get someone back for me

From 8.00am to 4.00pm all I could hear was this drilling for the rewiring so one noisy day and the same guy comes back for the boiler and says it's blown a gasket it was fine till he messed with it in the first place anyway he got it going.

To top the lot I then get 8 guys marching in saying I have got Asbestos under the floor tiles and they are coming tomorrow to dig the kitchen floor up it's a laugh with them I am not really sure if they know what they are doing
but they have this report in front of them saying in 2014 no traces of Asbestos found so where this as come from I do not know at the end of all this I might have a new kitchen but the house might then fall down haha.

So glad Gordon is not here to suffer the upset of all this I don't think I could have coped with caring for him and this mess I am living in I would have been pulling my hair out.

So I have just not been on here as I have been dropping into bed at 9pm shattered why I am so tired I don't know because I cannot clean up down stairs I only have a small square to sit in not to worry it will get done one day we hope.

Hope you had a good few days away!

Will try and get on a bit more but they turn the electricity off and my internet goes down will have to get the jungle drums out.

Love and hugs
Elaine xx

Good gracious! No wonder you haven't been posting, and don't worry about trying to get on to the computer with all this going on.
I admit, I was getting a bit worried after you said that the first chap said the boiler was unsafe - in case it had exploded or leaked gas and left you in a bad way, so I'm relieved to find that you're okay. I'm like that - always worried about 'what might happen', with a vivid imagination.

But what a nightmare, Elaine. No wonder you're tired. Even though you are not doing anything, it's such an almighty strain with men milling around and finding new problems, then changing their mind - all that uncertainty, no chance to relax, no real privacy. It does sound terrible.

I hope it won't take too long to get your kitchen finished so you can live a little.
Hope the worst is over and things get easier for you next week.

(For when you do get back - What sort of dogs do you have? We are dog lovers but didn't replace them when they passed on because of my mum living nearby with dementia and my husband's health problems. Now that Mum has gone, and John okay again (we hope), we're beginning to think about getting one again, because they are lovely, and they keep you fit.)

Very best wishes,
Marcelle xx
 
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Elaine68

Registered User
Jul 20, 2017
136
0
Sheffield
Good gracious! No wonder you haven't been posting, and don't worry about trying to get on to the computer with all this going on.
I admit, I was getting a bit worried after you said that the first chap said the boiler was unsafe - in case it had exploded or leaked gas and left you in a bad way, so I'm relieved to find that you're okay. I'm like that - always worried about 'what might happen', with a vivid imagination.

But what a nightmare, Elaine. No wonder you're tired. Even though you are not doing anything, it's such an almighty strain with men milling around and finding new problems, then changing their mind - all that uncertainty, no chance to relax, no real privacy. It does sound terrible.

I hope it won't take too long to get your kitchen finished so you can live a little.
Hope the worst is over and things get easier for you next week.

(For when you do get back - What sort of dogs do you have? We are dog lovers but didn't replace them when they passed on because of my mum living nearby with dementia and my husband's health problems. Now that Mum has gone, and John okay again (we hope), we're beginning to think about getting one again, because they are lovely, and they keep you fit.)

Very best wishes,
Marcelle xx

Hello Marcelle,

Thought I would fill you in on the kitchen it's coming together I have units and cupboards in they fitted the sink unit and my hob still waiting for my oven to go in.
The walls have just about dried out so, still some electrics to do and wood work then the floor and decorating but they don't come every day but then again they don't keep you up to date on what they are doing.
Just been stuck in the house all week I will be glad when it's done now but they are pleasant guys at least they speak to me and the joiner kept saying come and have a look and is it ok for you which was really nice of him.

Going out tomorrow for a meal with my son I should have gone for my bday 1st March so finally getting there now looking forward to that.

You asked about my dogs I have two Westies boy and girl I was going to breed with them but they are more like brother and sister she would not entertain him that way any way he's had the chop now they have to have it done before they are 9 to stop prostrate cancer he's 11 now.
She is 9 this year and again she will need doing this year as well these two are my life and they have helped me get through loosing Gordon I have to get out of bed to see to them they motivate me.

So, I would go for a dog Marcelle they are loving, caring and just a joy to have around they lift your spirits and keep you fit like you said but we are not fit at the moment I cannot get out with them but I have a big yard they can go in when the men have gone other wise I put them on the lead and walk them round the garden.

Glad your husband is feeling better and hope you are moving on from loosing you're mum I wish sometimes my mum was here so I can just say love you mum but I have good memories.
Well that's it for now will let you know what Monday brings if they turn up.

Hugs and love
Elaine xx
 

Marcelle123

Registered User
Nov 9, 2015
4,865
0
Yorkshire
Thanks for writing, Elaine - I have been wondering how you are getting on. Thanks for telling me about your dogs - I like Westies because I like terriers anyway - they are so feisty and alive and such fun - and also Westies look very pretty & cuddly and have such lovely dark eyes.

I hope your kitchen is soon finished and you can get out and about again.
Love,
Marcelle xx
 

Elaine68

Registered User
Jul 20, 2017
136
0
Sheffield
Hello everyone,

Well the kitchen is still on the go they have now found out my oven will not go back in it's unit because they have put a socket at the back of it stopping it going in flush plus a bigger gas pipe so now the unit needs to come out so they can put the socket in one cupboard and run the gas pipe in another cupboard.

It is looking better but I need to ring every morning to see if they are coming which I could do with out at the moment I guess I will get there one day and be able to cook a meal that's not one for a microwave but this as been going on since the 18th April a bit too long now.

Bank holiday was such a lovely weekend so I thought these guy's are not here for 3 days so I am going to spend my time in the garden and getting it looking like it's old self I had more sit downs than gardening either I am out of condition or I have just got older probably both.
This is the time that Gordon and I would sit and chat away in the garden and say that plant wants moving next time and we need to paint things up to stand the winter months plus have our lunch together in the sunshine then it suddenly hit me there was only me sat there nobody to chat with or have my lunch with and with feeling down anyway with this work going on the flood of tears came and I found I wanted Gordon more than ever and why did he leave me like this? Why did he die so quickly? Did he know he would leave me like a crumbling wreck? Did he know how I would feel so many questions that I cannot find answers too and I am not sure if it's just grief hitting me or I am feeling sorry for myself.

I find I sit where he died and I sleep at his side of the bed when he did go to bed it gives me comfort and I feel close to him but I cannot be strong all the time and I am struggling at the moment I knew I would once I got in this garden it's only 5 months since my Gordon left me and it feels a life time it's his bday on the 27th May this year it will be hard but I will get myself out of this I know I need to keep going forward which I will. This first year is finding my feet and a life on my own I am in this unknown zone which can be frightening I see a way forward but with many paths leading different ways and I stand at the crossroads thinking which path is it I want I can see the end of it but it's getting there and the right one that is the only way I can explain how I feel.

Just a bit low but ok I will get over it once I start putting things back in my new kitchen we can only hope.

Best wishes to you all with much love.
Elaine.xx
 

Marcelle123

Registered User
Nov 9, 2015
4,865
0
Yorkshire
Elaine - how lovely to hear from you. What a palaver the kitchen work sounds - as if they can't see ahead what's going to happen, a bit like a stage farce. I suppose as you say they will get there in the end and then you will have a lovely bright new kitchen.

I am not surprised you were suddenly so upset in the garden. It was somewhere special where you had lovely times with Gordon, and anyway I find certain situations - nature, or being in church - bring one's emotions to the surface.
To describe it as 'feeling sorry for yourself' is inaccurate and makes it sound as if you are to be blamed for feeling such emotions.
You are a brave and loyal person, and you were simply seeing your lone situation with a sharp intensity and your love for Gordon suddenly swelled up and you missed him so.
It is painful for you, but natural and I am sure it does good in the long run to work through your grief.

I think it was so good that you went out into the garden, and now you have started on this step, I'm sure you will find comfort in being out there. My grandfather was a wonderful gardener, and after he died, my grandmother used to say that she felt his spirit with her in the garden and felt closest to him there.

Wishing you a good week, and hoping all goes well in the kitchen, and that the kitchen-men are soon 'out of your life', leaving you with a brand new improved kitchen!

Love & best wishes,
Marcelle xx
 
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Elaine68

Registered User
Jul 20, 2017
136
0
Sheffield
The kitchen is still on going but I am pleased to say I have moved my things back into the kitchen and got my living room back only because I got on the phone to the site manager and told him I want my house back now and I want them out. With in 1 hour I had guys in only for them to tell me they had followed the wrong plan great it had already been decorated but they had not wired up for my hood over the cooker so they had to chisel the wall out for it so waiting for that to get seen to and then they are out.

Really I could have done with out all this its Gordon's bday on Sunday so I am very emotional at the moment the slightest little thing sets me of crying I don't have a grave to visit so I decided to buy flowers for our church and when I told my sons what I was doing they put in as well.

Gordon loved his church and my friend that does the flowers said she would get them for me so I am looking forward to seeing the display not sure what my reactions will be I don't want to sit crying all through mass.

It would have been my mothers bday today and my eldest brother on the 24th then my Gordon's on the 27th I just think this week is a sad week anyway and I found I was just remembering everyone I am upset and hope it passes soon.

Best wishes to you all
Love Elaine xx
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
74,001
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72
Dundee
What an emotional time for you @Elaine68. No wonder you are feeling upset. I still find birthdays and anniversaries so hard. The idea of flowers for church is a lovely one. I'm sure everyone will understand if you shed a tear during the service.

Thinking of you.
 

Marcelle123

Registered User
Nov 9, 2015
4,865
0
Yorkshire
Sorry to read about all the kitchen mistakes and mix-ups. I expect you will shed a tear during your mass - I always find that I feel sadder and more emotional in church - but it will do you good to let it out a little, and it's a beautiful gesture.
Wishing you all the best,
Marcelle xx
 

Elaine68

Registered User
Jul 20, 2017
136
0
Sheffield
In the last 6 months I have travelled through the worst nightmare anyone could have 3 bereavements my never ending kitchen still on going then my Gordons bday ( I did not cry in church I felt happy and close to Gordon)
I have not been in a good place and it was so easy for me to fall into a very deep depression and not bother if I came out of it but is that the answer what would I achieve by letting this happen nothing! my life is not over its just beginning!
After so many years of caring for my mum and bringing a family up and then caring for Gordon I forgot me! I don't know me anymore! I sometimes think what would my life have been like if I had travel a different path and well now is the time to find out because I have made a turn I am making my home the way I like and its given me great enjoyment doing this.
I have been able to get in the garden and forget time and worry just myself to please and I am loving it I have freedom! I feel reborn if thats the word I am looking for.
I am me!! with fairy lights on the mantal piece and music blurting out something I have not done for a long time and clearing out old and bringing in new.
Yes Gordon will always be here with me my memories, my love for him and his approval to now live my life the way I want I think I am going to be alright.
Best wishes everyone.
Elaine x
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
74,001
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72
Dundee
What a wonderfully positive post. I admire your attitude and try to maintain a similar one.

Wishing you every good fortune as you move along.