Moving on up ... nothing gonna stop me ..

Discussion in 'After dementia — dealing with loss' started by Sam Luvit, Jun 19, 2019.

  1. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,742
    Female
    Scotland
    Starting with ten hours is not a bad idea. Once in the workplace you hear of other opportunities and can see your way forward better. I'm a doer. I'd rather be trying something than sitting on my bum wailing. Mind you some days I feel as if a good wail would be a relief!
     
  2. DianeW

    DianeW Registered User

    Sep 10, 2013
    497
    Lytham St Annes
    Well done Sam on the job, I am sure you will get to love it and it will open up lots for you.

    My husband is a carer, he moved into care work very late, has always wanted to do it but never brave enough to make the move.

    It’s very tiring work he does 2, 12 hour nights, and comes home shattered....but he absolutely loves it and is very good at his job, he has time for everyone and seems to be very appreciated.

    He wishes he had done it years ago.....

    Were you only looking for a few hours, or would you ideally like more???
     
  3. Sam Luvit

    Sam Luvit Registered User

    Oct 19, 2016
    5,471
    East Sussex
    So far I’ve said I want to work locally, @Jaded'n'faded, I’ve talked to other carers at the agency and they say the mileage isn’t great, but better than some. Hopefully, agreeing to do every Sunday will make me more popular :rolleyes:

    I suspect I’ll be buying bottles of cheap perfume :eek:
     
  4. Sam Luvit

    Sam Luvit Registered User

    Oct 19, 2016
    5,471
    East Sussex
    I’ve said I’ll do more hours if they are stuck @marionq, but ten hours will cover the balance of my bills and feed me :D

    Like you say, once I start, I can see if I like it and what else is on offer. I really need to be doing something other than weeding & cleaning :rolleyes:
     
  5. Sam Luvit

    Sam Luvit Registered User

    Oct 19, 2016
    5,471
    East Sussex
    Thank you @DianeW, it’s been such a boost to my flagging confidence :)

    My mum discouraged me from even thinking of anything to do with nursing or care work, she loved it, but said it was often thankless and not well paid. At the time, I couldn’t even listen to someone talking about puke without running to the loo to retch ... so it wasn’t exactly on my horizon

    After looking after mum, I eventually got to the stage of coping. I’ll never forget the look on the uppity surgery paramedics face, when I handed him a bucket of vomit and told him “my mum says she’s vomiting faceas” ... if I can do that, I think I should be able to do most things :p

    Hats off to your OH, I think one 12 hour shift wouId finish me off. :eek:

    For the moment, while I’m still packing up, clearing out and having to keep the house “viewing ready”, I’m happy to do minimal hours. In the future I may want / need to do more, but this will suit me for now.
     
  6. Sam Luvit

    Sam Luvit Registered User

    Oct 19, 2016
    5,471
    East Sussex
    Thank you for the vote of confidence @Grannie G, they even phoned me again today to check I’m still interested and to ask for references :)

    I feel ridiculously pleased to be going back to work. I am rather cheekily thinking that if it works out, I can do it anywhere in the country :rolleyes: That will take some of the pressure off me when I get to move
     
  7. Sam Luvit

    Sam Luvit Registered User

    Oct 19, 2016
    5,471
    East Sussex
    Hi @Bunpoots

    Thank you :) In some way or another, my previous two careers have been about helping people. This is more personal help, but if I can do it, I suspect more rewarding than the others

    It’s home to home ... they say they try to give me regular clients, which as I’ve only agreed to three set days, might actually happen :rolleyes:
     
  8. Sam Luvit

    Sam Luvit Registered User

    Oct 19, 2016
    5,471
    East Sussex
    Thank you @2jays ... you are too kind :eek: My aim is to make the Carer feel the way I did about some of the ones who came out to mum. I’m pretty sure I’ll listen to them a whole lot more than some of the others did to me :rolleyes::D

    I’m sure there will be times when I’ll struggle, I hope I don’t get “End Of Life” too early on, but I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it

    I just feel like I’ve learnt so much over the last few years that it wouId be a shame not to at least try to continue using it. Time will tell if I can keep my sanity :eek:
     
  9. Sam Luvit

    Sam Luvit Registered User

    Oct 19, 2016
    5,471
    East Sussex
    Thank you @Slugsta :)

    I’ve shocked myself with what I’ve managed to learn over the last four years and what I’ve managed to do :rolleyes:, I’d heard of dementia from mum, but “meeting” the little blighter was a whole new ball game :eek:

    I will be coming here for hand holding, bootings & shoulders to sodden... of that I am sure
     
  10. Sam Luvit

    Sam Luvit Registered User

    Oct 19, 2016
    5,471
    East Sussex
    Aaaah thank you @Toony Oony :D

    I will try not to sing to them like I did to mum (I really can’t sing, but it made her laugh), However “Lets go for a little walk ..” was the only thing that got mum out of her “huff” and moving :rolleyes:

    You wouldn’t believe the arm muscles (biseps???) I have from helping mum in and out of chairs ... lift with your knees not your back :D
     
  11. Sam Luvit

    Sam Luvit Registered User

    Oct 19, 2016
    5,471
    East Sussex
    Hi @Kikki21

    Exactly. I need to try this to see if I can do it. The agency asked if I wanted more time to decide if I could do it, but I said I won’t know if I can do it, until I try it o_O

    You have a “new” big sister and I’ve regained my big brother. At least something good came out of the rubbish of dementia :rolleyes:

    Change is one of the hardest things to do. I spent a decade explaining why change was needed and how it wouId make staff members life better :rolleyes:, now I get to take my own medicine :eek:
     
  12. Slugsta

    Slugsta Registered User

    <warbles>* "A spoonfull of sugar makes the medicine go down . . ."

    Nothing wrong with singing to someone, especially if it has the desired effect (makes them laugh, gets them moving etc). I sing,sometimes under my breath, sometimes out loud, all the time. My BFF pokes me if it gets too loud whereas hubby ignores me and son is as likely to join in.

    * I said warbles not wobbles :D
     
  13. Sam Luvit

    Sam Luvit Registered User

    Oct 19, 2016
    5,471
    East Sussex
    Somewhere, buried in all the other snippets of useless information, someone said “music is the last thing to go” @Slugsta ... so in desperation (coz I shouldn’t sing), when mum got stuck rocking instead of walking, I put my arms round her, waltz style & started singing :)rolleyes:) “let’s go for a little walk”. She started laughing and walked with me ;) The carers thought it was hilarious :D

    She got stuck on the stairs at one time, we used to count them as she walked, but that day it wasn’t working, so I tried a different language to prompt her, my Gaelic is minimal, so I tried our other shared language :cool: That got her asking about “the song that’s about numbers and a dog” ... so I started on “one man went to mow, went to mow a meadow”, but in the other language

    The poor Carer was :eek: ... she recognised the tune (well done on that), but couldn’t work out the language. Not helped by me swopping between “basic” and “proper” and mum howling with laughter (it’s a bit like school girl or Parisian French, I speak basic and my brother corrects me to Perisian)... but she got down the stairs :D
     
  14. Slugsta

    Slugsta Registered User

    Mum always used to sing around the house and we would sing silly songs in the car when I was a kid. In her latter years I would ask if she remembered a song and she would say 'No' but usually managed to join in once I had started singing it. When she was very poorly, I would put her CDs on and sing along - but I will never know whether she either recognised or appreciated it!
     
  15. Sarasa

    Sarasa Registered User

    Apr 13, 2018
    400
    Great news about the job @Sam Luvit , and the hours sound ideal. A good way to ease back into the world of work. I'm sure it will be challenging at times, but you have so much to offer your clients, and it must be a bit easier than trying to care for a loved one with all the baggage that goes along with that.
     
  16. Toony Oony

    Toony Oony Registered User

    Jun 21, 2016
    454
    @Sam Luvit - I made the mistake of encouraging Mum to walk to lunch by singing the Conga. She recognised it, joined in a bit and obviously by 'muscle memory' stuck her leg out (as you do when doing the Conga). Not a good idea when your mobility is shot and balance is poor :eek: XX
     
  17. jugglingmum

    jugglingmum Registered User

    Jan 5, 2014
    5,024
    Female
    Chester
    :D
     
  18. Sam Luvit

    Sam Luvit Registered User

    Oct 19, 2016
    5,471
    East Sussex
    Thankfully mum didn’t sing often @Slugsta :rolleyes: However, I found singing “instructions” worked well with mum. It was strange, but I often used our other “shared” language :eek: Can you imagine, trying to get her to walk, her getting stuck & trying to remember the words in another language ... I don't know if it was the music, or the language, but it felt like a mixture
     
  19. Sam Luvit

    Sam Luvit Registered User

    Oct 19, 2016
    5,471
    East Sussex
    Training in ten days :eek: @Sarasa ... I think I’m looking forward to it :rolleyes: The confidence boost is great though, I feel like I have purpose again

    I’m thinking that at least with this, I can go home at the end of my day & have proper time off, unlike caring for mum :confused:
     

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