Moving on up ... nothing gonna stop me ..

Discussion in 'After dementia — dealing with loss' started by Sam Luvit, Jun 19, 2019.

  1. Sam Luvit

    Sam Luvit Registered User

    Oct 19, 2016
    5,341
    East Sussex
    https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/threads/can-i-should-i.96413/ .... where it began

    Here I am, trying to figure if I’m getting it right, going the right way, a bit like deciding how to help mum...

    April 2015, I didn’t know what to do, or if I was able to do anything, a line from a film “Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should”, really struck a cord ... so “Can I .... should I” was born

    Four years on, I’ve found I can do more than I’d ever thought I could.

    I have to see what I can do now.

    I’m an orphan in my 50’s. It’s not young, but it’s not old either. I have an amazing brother, he started as an “invisible”, but became my support & now he’s the best I could dream of

    I quit my job, sold my house & moved in with mum. Now the house is on the market & as I don’t own it, I’m technically homeless. It’s pretty scary if I’m honest, but I try not to focus on that. I’m trying to look to the future, whatever & wherever that is

    So. Today I had a job interview for a care position. I’ve not had an interview for nearly a decade. This was for a job I’ve no experience of (technically). I had no idea what to say, I couldn’t prepare for it, I had nothing to draw on

    Half way through the interview, the interviewer excused herself to go talk to the manager .... she came back after ten minutes, while I’d chatted to her trainee .... I was offered a job ... I have a training session in a few weeks, then I get to see if I can do this

    I’m about to be employed :D

    Now I’ve got two or three weeks to stress over whether or not I can do this :rolleyes:
     
  2. karaokePete

    karaokePete Registered User

    Jul 23, 2017
    4,773
    N Ireland
    Don’t doubt yourself.

    I wish you health, happiness and success in your new job and life.:)
     
  3. Moggymad

    Moggymad Registered User

    May 12, 2017
    319
    Female
    Good luck @Sam Luvit you are a woman of many talents so no need to doubt yourself. From what I've read on your thread you do have a great deal of practical experience, common sense & initiative & many skills that will stand you in good stead. You'd also be a very good manager!!
     
  4. Sam Luvit

    Sam Luvit Registered User

    Oct 19, 2016
    5,341
    East Sussex
  5. Sam Luvit

    Sam Luvit Registered User

    Oct 19, 2016
    5,341
    East Sussex
    :rolleyes: Thank you @Moggymad

    I sort of know I can do this, I’m struggling with the “personal care” expectation, but I won’t know until I try

    However .... no thank you to the manager ... I’ve had a belly full of office politics. I want to be the Carer that takes the load, even if it is only for thirty minutes a day :D
     
  6. love.dad.but..

    love.dad.but.. Registered User

    Jan 16, 2014
    4,362
    Kent
    Try it...see if the job brings you fulfillment and satisfaction...but if it doesn't or you find you are investing too much of yourself emotionally...try something else. I am 60 something and had the same sudden thought after dad died...I am an orphan...I felt fairly silly to think it but true for us both!

    You can do this....one step at a time....don't demand too much of yourself though.
     
  7. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    58,927
    Female
    Dundee
    Well done. Good luck Sam.
     
  8. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,651
    Female
    Scotland
    A new start, a new job, a new home - an adventure. Let it be a good one. Best wishes.
     
  9. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,896
    Kent
    Of course you can do it @Sam Luvit. You wouldn`t have been offered the job during the interview if anyone thought otherwise.

    Well done and good luck. Whatever the outcome it`s a step on the employment ladder which will help give you confidence in the workplace.
     
  10. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Registered User

    Apr 1, 2016
    2,669
    Nottinghamshire
    Good luck in your new job. You'll be great. It is all about if you feel fulfilled in your new role.

    Are you working in a carehome or home to home?
     
  11. 2jays

    2jays Registered User

    Jun 4, 2010
    11,525
    West Midlands
    I’m convinced you would make an amazing supportive difference to both carer and the person needing care

    Just make sure when doing so, it doesn’t overwhelm you xxxx

    I couldn’t do this type of job so you have my utmost respect for giving it a go xx
     
  12. Slugsta

    Slugsta Registered User

    Well done Sam! For moving on to the new forum and for getting the job :) You have been through a lot in the last 4 years and handled situations you had never even dreamed of before you 'met' dementia, so I know you will succeed in this new, exciting adventure. Don't forget, we are all still here to hold your hand, offer a shoulder to cry on and a kick up the derriere as appropriate :D
     
  13. Toony Oony

    Toony Oony Registered User

    Jun 21, 2016
    438
    Well done @Sam Luvit - many congrats on the new job and wishing you every success.
    Those that you will be caring for will love you for your sense of fun and 'can do' attitude - I know my Mum would enjoy having you looking after her! You will be able to bring such a wealth of hands on experience to the job.
    Just take care of your back when lifting ...

    XXX
     
  14. Sam Luvit

    Sam Luvit Registered User

    Oct 19, 2016
    5,341
    East Sussex
    Morning @love.dad.but..

    That’s the plan ... try it to see if I can, if it’s what I think it is and if I can cope. I don’t think it’s possible not to get emotionally involved, but at least I can walk away and regroup.

    I’m sort of looking forward to it ;)
     
  15. Sam Luvit

    Sam Luvit Registered User

    Oct 19, 2016
    5,341
    East Sussex
    Thank you
     
  16. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    1,946
    Female
    East Midlands
    If you don’t try it then you will never know! Well done @Sam Luvit - I too am an orphan now & 50! I didn’t have any siblings but the dementia experience with my mum brought me closer to my cousin G again ( my mum fell out with her) & i’m so grateful to have her in my life. She’s 10 yrs older than me so almost like having a big sister.
    New things can be scary but they can also bring you freedom of choosing to live your life as you need to live it! Xx
     
  17. jugglingmum

    jugglingmum Registered User

    Jan 5, 2014
    4,980
    Female
    Chester
    Well done on getting your job.

    so pleased to hear how things have worked out with your brother as well.

    I describe mine as semi invisible, but I wasn't in touch with him when things went pop so wouldn't be in touch with him at all otherwise.

    I hope your house sale sorts itself out soon so you are no longer in limbo.

    I'm still posting on so bizarre. xx
     
  18. Jaded'n'faded

    Jaded'n'faded Registered User

    Jan 23, 2019
    294
    Female
    High Peak
    We all know you would be the best carer, Sam :)

    Just hope you don't fall foul of all the dreadful things that go with being a carer - the unreasonable travel, unfair allowances, etc.

    But as you say, I expect nothing's gonna stop you now :)
     
  19. Sam Luvit

    Sam Luvit Registered User

    Oct 19, 2016
    5,341
    East Sussex
    Let the adventures begin @marionq :D
     
  20. Sam Luvit

    Sam Luvit Registered User

    Oct 19, 2016
    5,341
    East Sussex
    Thanks @jugglingmum, it’s been a real boost to my confidence, especially being offered the job during the interview :eek:

    At the start, my brother kept his distance ... after an explosion (from me), he agreed to be my vent. As things went down hill, he gradually improved, but at the end he was hands on, super supportive. He’s still the same, calls, visits or texts several times a week. He’s the best :D

    I so need the house to get sorted, but at least a job will give me another focus ... can’t believe I’ll only be doing ten hours a week, after decades of sixty to eighty when in management :rolleyes: It’ll be like a permanent loooonnnnggg weekend :p
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.