Moving on after my mum’s death

Discussion in 'After dementia — dealing with loss' started by Kikki21, Aug 29, 2019.

  1. notsogooddtr

    notsogooddtr Registered User

    Jul 2, 2011
    873
    I agree with Jessbow,you are obviously frustrated with the executor but don't seem to have any evidence of wrongdoing.I don't think the police would be interested tbh.
     
  2. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    2,086
    Female
    East Midlands
    #62 Kikki21, Oct 23, 2019
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 23, 2019
    At one stage they were actually dealing with both myself & the executor because he didn’t understand what he needed to do. Yes the selling conveyancers don’t have to talk to me as I am not the client.
    However when 2 legal professionals have concerns about what might potentially happen then it would be foolish not to sit up & take notice or do you not think that executor fraud happens?

    I have a friend who was joint executor with her dad over her grandmother’s will. She & her brother were beneficiaries & her own father took the lot. There was nothing she could do about it unless she called the Police onto her father.

    The selling conveyancers also had a legal letter from my solicitor & that’s why I was having a conversation to them about my concerns.
     
  3. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    2,086
    Female
    East Midlands
    At the moment there is no wrong doing as such but obviously failure to put the house sale funds into my account to transfer to my solicitors would constitute that but he’s not exactly covering himself in glory over things he has not done & that is suspicious behaviour.
     
  4. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    2,086
    Female
    East Midlands
    So the selling conveyancers actually demanded that the executor go to his bank yesterday & set up an executor bank account in order for them to be satisfied that they could pay the house sale proceeds into the correct bank account & this he has finally done.
    Obviously he should have done this months ago & maybe he has held up the completion date again. Still waiting to hear.

    That would not be good. I hope we hear some positive news soon.
     
  5. Marcelle123

    Marcelle123 Registered User

    Nov 9, 2015
    4,339
    Yorkshire
    This must be a relief to you.
    Hoping that it will all be sorted soon.

    Just to let you know that I am reading your thread every day, and thinking of you. xx
     
  6. notsogooddtr

    notsogooddtr Registered User

    Jul 2, 2011
    873
    Kikki,I think you are frustrated and worried(understandably)about the time things have taken.I have executed 3 wills,I took between 6- 12 months to distribute the estates.I would not have distributed one penny if there was any outstanding debt.The duties of an executor are onerous and not to be taken lightly.I know you have never been happy with your late Mum's choice but it was her decision to make.I do hope things begin to fall into place for you now.
     
  7. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    2,086
    Female
    East Midlands
    thank you @Marcelle123 for your positivity in these times, it is much needed!
    I really hope that we do exchange tomorrow as is the plan & complete on Friday as at least that is a huge positive & I can hand my notice in for this rented place & we get an extra week to get things straight now we aren’t going away which was always going to be tight - my boyfriend can’t wait to get started to turn the new home into our dream home xx
     
  8. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    2,086
    Female
    East Midlands
    I don’t envy you having executed 3 wills at all. The thing was that my mum would not have had any kind of clue what an executor really has to do when she chose who would do it & maybe she thought it would be a lot easier.
    I have dealt with forms & paperwork all my life so it’s not an issue with me & having been born here then I know the systems.
    I think you have to be reasonable & use your common sense as each will & situation is different so I would have to agree to disagree with you about your stance about interim payments.
    I would not have agreed to clear out the bungalow if it were not for those payments to be made to be as it meant I couldn’t work so the executor would have had to think of something else!
     
  9. notsogooddtr

    notsogooddtr Registered User

    Jul 2, 2011
    873
    I am employed so didn't have option to not work!!
     
  10. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    2,086
    Female
    East Midlands
    Unfortunately as I was clearing the bungalow during the week & I don’t drive, my boyfriend works so tip runs, charity shop runs would have to wait until the weekend which is when I have my events to trade at so that’s why I couldn’t do them & the amount of stuff to sort through was ridiculous as my mum was a hoarder. I was also working to the 9th August original completion date & then when we could see that it wouldn’t happen, we didn’t work at the place we were going at previously but it was exhausting work all the same.
     
  11. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    2,086
    Female
    East Midlands
    So the good news is that exchange has taken place today & at least my mum’s sale will complete.
    Not sure about mine, the executor must go to his bank & request a same day transfer & then I have to go to my bank & request the same. Luckily it is all close together so we have a chance to complete.
     
  12. Marcelle123

    Marcelle123 Registered User

    Nov 9, 2015
    4,339
    Yorkshire
    Great news that you've effectively sold your Mum's bungalow.

    Hope you're able to buy your own house in time too.

    We weren't able to, which is why we're now renting in York and attempting to buy a different house outside York - but we've come to terms with the situation, which may in the end be for the best.

    Hope you don't have any unnecessary complications & it all works out fine.

    Best wishes,
    Marcelle xx
     
  13. notsogooddtr

    notsogooddtr Registered User

    Jul 2, 2011
    873
    Everything crossed!!!
     
  14. DianeW

    DianeW Registered User

    Sep 10, 2013
    525
    Lytham St Annes
    Oh that’s some good news at last, let’s hope finally things now fall into place.
     
  15. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    2,086
    Female
    East Midlands
    thank you @Marcelle123 - it now all depends on how quickly the transfer happens to the executor’s bank account & then how quickly he goes to his bank & requests a same day transfer & I have to do the same.
    I’m really not very well. Last night I would go from totally burning up to shivering under my winter tog duvet. Normally I don’t feel the cold at all. I think all the stress has completely done me in xx
     
  16. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,756
    Kent
    If this continues @Kikki21 don`t hesitate to see your GP. You could have a temperature.
     
  17. Marcelle123

    Marcelle123 Registered User

    Nov 9, 2015
    4,339
    Yorkshire
    I think this is a good idea.
    The worry of buying and selling houses is huge - and you need your health to be able to cope.

    Hoping that it will all work out without further undue stress. xx
     
  18. notsogooddtr

    notsogooddtr Registered User

    Jul 2, 2011
    873
    I do hope the sales of both properties were completed
     
  19. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    2,086
    Female
    East Midlands
    I think I had a massive temperature but I managed to burn it out of me - I still felt rough the next morning but a few hrs later, I felt much better & been picking up since then. Still not back to full strength yet.
     
  20. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    2,086
    Female
    East Midlands
    So the sale of the bungalow completed at around 11am.
    The executor didn’t get to the bank till just before 3.30pm so the purchase of my property didn’t complete. Obviously I am fuming at this & I’n not the only one. My seller is also livid at all the delays & now she has this one.
    The thing is the money may not even clear till close of play on Monday. I don’t know why the executor went to the bank so late.

    Obviously the best thing to do would have been to let the conveyancers complete the transaction but the executor refused this to happen
    as it would have meant I got control of all the sale proceeds & he made this out to be a massive problem.

    I can see now that why I wasn’t meant to go on holiday at this time due to the house purchase being more important & I am really gutted about not going, not just for me but for my boyfriend but we are both excited to start work on our new home & getting it looking good - just a shame we have lost out on 3 days work.
     

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