Moving mum from Residential Care Home to Nursing Home

Discussion in 'Welcome and how to use Dementia Talking Point' started by Lilly_B, Nov 29, 2019.

  1. Lilly_B

    Lilly_B Registered User

    Jan 25, 2018
    11
    Hi
    Mum mum has been diagnosed with what the doctors call a 'mixed bag' of dementia and has been in a residential care home for the last year. We sadly lost my dad 7 years ago and both my brother and I have POA for my mum.
    We have been advised by the care home she is in that her Dementia has progressed and they have requested we find a Nursing Home for her as she now needs more 1-1 care. Sadly she has become verbally aggressive towards staff when they try to help her and accuses them of taking things, pushing her over etc.
    Because of this, finding another home is not easy and nobody wants to take on this challenging behaviour.
    We are now at a loss of where to go for help. We have contacted my mums doctor who has been out to assess her......they have recommended OMPH to visit my mum - this was 3 weeks ago and nothing has happened. The home are constantly asking if we have found anywhere for her and when we have asked them for advice, the referrals they have given us are no good.
    Following a recommendation yesterday, I contacted Social Services to see if they are able to help. Due to mum being Self Funding, they would help........but would charge an initial £294.00 Admin fee and thereafter £6.00 per week!!
    If anybody has been through this before, any help or suggestions would be gratefully received!
    Thank you x x
     
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,850
    Kent
  3. Lilly_B

    Lilly_B Registered User

    Jan 25, 2018
    11
    Hi @Grannie G

    Thank you so much for the advice......I will definitely contact both suggestions you have given me.

    We have never experienced this before, so any help or advice we get is greatly appreciated.

    Thank you x x
     
  4. Sirena

    Sirena Registered User

    Feb 27, 2018
    1,861
    Female
    Does your mother really need nursing care (does she have medical needs?) or does she just need more 'social care' support in terms of 1 to 1? She may just need a different dementia/EMI care home who can deal with her behaviour.

    I have never heard of SS asking for money in this way. But that aside, I think in your situation I would engage an independent social worker. Yes you will have to pay, but I think it's worth it if your mother has the funds. If you want to do this, google independent social worker.
     
  5. Lilly_B

    Lilly_B Registered User

    Jan 25, 2018
    11
    Hi Sirena

    According to the care home she is currently in, they have advised that a nursing home was best for her.........however, I think a home that can offer more 1 - 1 support would be better for her. Her mobility has sadly declined dramatically over the last couple of months, but I wouldnt say that she specifically needs nursing care.

    I was shocked when Social Services advised the Administration cost.....I had never heard of this before.

    Thank you so much for your advice x x
     
  6. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,773
    Female
    South coast
    Have you been looking just for nursing homes?
    Like others, I would expect a dementia home or EMI to be able to cope with this sort of common dementia behaviours. If you have only been looking for nursing homes this may be why you cant find any that will accept her.
    Try looking for dementia care homes that accept challenging behaviour (although Im not sure that I would consider them challenging, actually). My mum was in a dedicated dementia care home and she displayed this sort of behaviour when sundowning.

    Ive never heard of SS charging a fee for this sort of thing either.
     
  7. Lilly_B

    Lilly_B Registered User

    Jan 25, 2018
    11
    Thank you so much for your help and advice - this has certainly given me and my brother something to think about.

    We have been advised by the home that sundown is definitely the worst time of day for my mum and this is when her behaviour takes a turn for the worst. Apparently she is really bad during the night and it takes all the night staff to calm her down.

    I shall start looking at dedicated dementia homes.......as you say, we have purely been looking at Nursing homes.

    Thank you again x x
     
  8. Sirena

    Sirena Registered User

    Feb 27, 2018
    1,861
    Female
    Mobility problems are usually included under 'social care' - my mother's residential dementia home have many residents who use frames or sticks, and a few residents who use wheelchairs and have to be hoisted.

    It sounds as if the current care home isn't the right place for her any longer as they think she takes up too much time and is too challenging. They should also be consulting the mental health team and GP to see if medication would help with her agitation.

    Definitely look at dementia care homes and give a full description of her behaviour.
     
  9. Lilly_B

    Lilly_B Registered User

    Jan 25, 2018
    11
    I have just put the phone down to Alzheimers help line who were shocked like us at Social Services requesting an Admin fee!

    I am going to phone Citizens Advice on Monday to sort out a Social Worker for mum.

    It is true, the home no longer have the time and staffing levels to cope with her needs so a fresh start is needed.

    Thankyou again for your valued Advice x x
     

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