• All threads and posts regarding Coronavirus COVID-19 can now be found in our new area specifically for Coronavirus COVID-19 discussion.

    You can directly access this area >here<.

Moving Mum during pandemic

Concerned J

Registered User
Jun 15, 2014
68
London
I haven't visited this site in a long while. I hope everyone is safe and well during the pandemic.
I am looking for advice about my Mum. Her care home closed a year ago and my brother and his family took her in.
Mum is 82 and advanced Alzheimers - unable to communicate and becoming more and more bed bound.
My brother and his family have admitted they can no longer cope and need her to move. I imagine that under current lockdow rules I cannot visit them far less bring Mum home. I have suggested to my brother that he contacts social services and gets her into a home.
That however is not my biggest concern. My brother lives 150 miles away from the rest of us siblings and when the inevitable happens we all want Mum in London as she will spend eternity with Dad.
Has anyone had any experience of moving a parent so far and if so how do we go about it?
 

Cat27

Volunteer Moderator
Feb 27, 2015
11,463
Merseyside
I’d say the first step is a social services assessment to find out what level of care is needed.
 

Nomorepets

Registered User
May 26, 2020
25
Am in a similar situation but have been with my mother throughout lockdown as couldn't move her to my home as quickly as hoped. Diagnosed with Vascular Dementia in her 90's and going downhill fast physically and mentally. Refusing to eat and has been hospitalised. Wants to move in with me and I could probably manage better in my own home but, getting her there the problem at 300 miles nearly. Social Services are not interested as will be paying for her own care. Am unsure how to go about this at the moment. It's heartbreaking as she loves where I live and was planning on moving before this C-19 happened.
 

Barronred

New member
Apr 1, 2020
9
My mam is 87 and diagnosed with mixed dementia about 2 years ago. She lives alone and I visit er every 3/4 weeks from London. Following a fall near her home in the NE of England in March and just before lockdown I brought her back to London with me. as I didn't think she could cope on her own. Since then she has fallen twice more, the last one resulting in a head injury requiring 3stitches. Following each fall she has become increasingly confused and much slower physically. She is urine incontinent during the night and I think the time is right to consider a care home. She steadfastly refuses to allow carers into her home and prior to March was still (just) coping. Clearly Covid had changed the situation quite a bit but I'm unclear how long that the process takes and I would rather prepare for things as best I can.
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
417
My mam is 87 and diagnosed with mixed dementia about 2 years ago. She lives alone and I visit er every 3/4 weeks from London. Following a fall near her home in the NE of England in March and just before lockdown I brought her back to London with me. as I didn't think she could cope on her own. Since then she has fallen twice more, the last one resulting in a head injury requiring 3stitches. Following each fall she has become increasingly confused and much slower physically. She is urine incontinent during the night and I think the time is right to consider a care home. She steadfastly refuses to allow carers into her home and prior to March was still (just) coping. Clearly Covid had changed the situation quite a bit but I'm unclear how long that the process takes and I would rather prepare for things as best I can.
It;s always good to plan ahead. If your mum will be self funding, you can do a move pretty quickly once you've found somewhere that you think will be suitable and they are able to take her. https://www.carehome.co.uk/ is a good place to start. Under normal circumstances, the manager of the home, or senior staff member/s, will come to assess your mum to make sure they can provide everything she needs and then, if there is a room available, it is normally possible to move in a few days. I'm not sure how things are at present though. If not self funding, I guess start by contacting Social Services for an assessment.