My mum has vascular dementia. She is just hanging on in her own home with care provided through Social Services. They are not really doing what we want eg washing her, cleaning etc because she refuses all help. She also refuses to go into a home when all around her are telling me that's what she needs. We (daughter and son who live miles away from her) have found a good place for her near where I live (Methodist Homes for the Aged) who won't take her against her will. Yet we know this is what is needed. How do we get round this?