Dear Forum
I would like to seek some advice on a situation we as a family have found ourselves in. My girlfriends father recently passed away and the week afterwards, her mum was diagnosed with Alzheimers. She is at a stage where she does not need any personal care. She does get in a muddle easily and things like turning on the TV are borderline ok (she can turn it on just not every time). She stopped driving 18 months ago and so needs help with getting shopping and going to the doctors etc. She can walk about the house, but not to the shops as she can trip and fall quite easily.
We have moved in with her (in her house) as a temporary arrangement, to help get her though this difficult time and sort out paperwork relating to my GF's father. However, my girlfriend and her mother really want to move in as a more permanent thing.
I realise that I may be asking questions that only I can answer, but I would appreciate a bit of perspective where possible, as it can be very difficult to discuss everything with the girls.
I feel the whole point of us moving in with MIL would be to become her carer. Although we are not at a stage where any physical care is required, we are having to adjust our lives to suit hers completely. It feels like we are bringing a third person into the relationship, as we will have to consider her in absolutely everything we do.
I would never want to stop my GF from supporting her mother, but I don't want our relationship to fail because we are giving up everything for MIL. I just can't see how we can go forward without making tremendous sacrifices and I am not sure if I am prepared to make those sacrifices. My girlfriend is willing, but does not want to loose me either.
Any thoughts would be very much appreciated.
Many thanks
I would like to seek some advice on a situation we as a family have found ourselves in. My girlfriends father recently passed away and the week afterwards, her mum was diagnosed with Alzheimers. She is at a stage where she does not need any personal care. She does get in a muddle easily and things like turning on the TV are borderline ok (she can turn it on just not every time). She stopped driving 18 months ago and so needs help with getting shopping and going to the doctors etc. She can walk about the house, but not to the shops as she can trip and fall quite easily.
We have moved in with her (in her house) as a temporary arrangement, to help get her though this difficult time and sort out paperwork relating to my GF's father. However, my girlfriend and her mother really want to move in as a more permanent thing.
I realise that I may be asking questions that only I can answer, but I would appreciate a bit of perspective where possible, as it can be very difficult to discuss everything with the girls.
I feel the whole point of us moving in with MIL would be to become her carer. Although we are not at a stage where any physical care is required, we are having to adjust our lives to suit hers completely. It feels like we are bringing a third person into the relationship, as we will have to consider her in absolutely everything we do.
I would never want to stop my GF from supporting her mother, but I don't want our relationship to fail because we are giving up everything for MIL. I just can't see how we can go forward without making tremendous sacrifices and I am not sure if I am prepared to make those sacrifices. My girlfriend is willing, but does not want to loose me either.
Any thoughts would be very much appreciated.
Many thanks