Moving house

[thebel2405]

Am new to all this. My mum diagnosed with dementia just after Christmas, after a 4 week spell in hospital, which seemed to accelerate hugely the dementia. My Dad then went into hospital and has just been in and out again.

hey were planning to move before all this happened and are still doing so. Downsizing from a big house, after 52 years, to a great ground floor flat for people over 65, with a part time warden.

I know a move is not ideal, but does anyone who has done it, have any advice. At the moment, we are regularly visiting the new place, as it is empty and the people selling are fantastic and understanding. Have drawn Mum a map, so she can plan where her furniture goes.

Any advice would be more than welcome. I live about an hour away but am regularly with them both.

 

[Lancshiker]

My parents moved about six months after my Dad was diagnosed with dementia. At the same time they moved my Dad got the dreaded UTI and had a really bad episode. It was just bad luck and timing. On the plus side they'd lived in their previous house for almost 50 years when they moved and after just a few months in their new flat, Dad had totally forgotten his last house and now loves being in the flat. I think familiarity is the thing and once you get over that initial period of disruption, it soon settles down. Other people may have different experiences though.

 

[thebel2405]

Thank you so much - that already makes me feel better. I know that it will cause confusion but I am hoping that once my mum is in her new place she will settle as there are less things to cause confusion for her. She has had a period away from her home recently when my dad was in hospital and she stayed with me and my family - and she wanted to return to the new place rather than her home of 52 years.

 

[thebel2405]

Well the house move has gone ahead. My Dad took my Mum away from the old house, as soon as the removal men arrived and stayed with her in the new place. I was then left to sort out all the removals.
First night tricky, but we got through it. 2 weeks on, they are coping. I don't think my Mum is very happy in the new home most of the time, and keeps blaming my Dad for making her move. She finds it difficult to find anything, but then she found it difficult in her old home. She is suspicious of anyone going past the window, as they lived somewhere before that was on a main road, where people didn't walk.
Well at least they are in their new much smaller home.

 

[notsogooddtr]

My Mum & Dad moved 4 weeks ago to extra sheltered accomodation.Dad has had AD for 8 years Mum has multiple health probs and very poor mobility.
All in all we think move has been positivei n as much as carers are on site and they have a sleeping carer overnight.All staff are lovely.
Minor probs with them not doing things exactly as Mum likes but nothing insurmountable.
She has had 2(short term thank god)periods of being off her feet but they dealt with it.
Dad is confused but he was at home.Also he's not been too well in himself,off his food and very quiet but seems to be picking up now.
Main prob is that my sister seems determined to blame every isuue on the move,I feel it could all have happened while still at home and would have been impossible to deal with.

Hope all goes well for your parents,I'm taking the stance that nothing is perfect at this point,good enough is good enough x

 

[thebel2405]

Glad to hear your parents move went OK too. I don't think my mum is any more confused in her new home as she was in her old one. She couldn't find the sugar there and she certainly can't find it in her new home! She doesn't take sugar in her tea anyway.

She keeps blaming my Dad for the move, and he is having to be so strong to cope with the stress. He is not particularly well either so it makes it so sad. But again, he wasn't particularly well in their last home either.

Sorry about your sister - families! Sounds like your parents move was essential, in the same way that mine was, and that every issue could have happened anyway.

Keep strong.

 

[mancmum]

We moved my Dad

We moved my dad sometime after diagnosis after my mum died suddenly to live with us.

He worried a lot about remembering where his room was - we put a notice on the door and a picture of his favourite mug.

The actual journey was the most traumatic thing we had ever done. The next day he forgot about it.

We bought what we could from the house - lots of china, glasses, papers - turned out he did not want any of them. the most important thing he wanted was things from his teeenage years.

Old bank statements etc were helpful in establishing things that he had done.

We spent a month coaching him on the walk across the park to get a newspaper. Sometimes he can manage it. Some days he can't.

 

[thebel2405]

Sorry it has taken so long to answer this. School holidays so spending more time with my parents than normal and my 3 children of course!

Great idea to train to get the paper. Might try it with my Mum.