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Moving house with Vascular Dementia

Sza

New member
Jul 30, 2020
2
Hello
I am new here. My mum looks after my Dad who has VD and we live 300 miles away. They are still in their family home and after a recent fall my mum had I'd like to help them move to a smaller property that is easier to manage and ideally close to us so we can help them. My mum is understandably very worried about it and doesn't see a way out - any advice anyone can give us will be most welcome. We've found some properties in an AL retirement complex so everything they need is on site and they would be safe but mum thinks Dad wouldn't manage the move.
 

Spamar

Registered User
Oct 5, 2013
7,388
Suffolk
When my late OH and I moved I planned it all- I was only 3weeks and 4 days after a knee replacement. OH was in early stages of mixed dementia.
I organised movers to come and do all the packing and unpack the necessities.
This was one of the best moves I made!
It was a two day move and we invited a few close friends to dinner in the local pub! That was another good move!
When we moved I sat on the back of the pickup saying kitchen...blue room.....bathroom.......pink room...etc OH just grabbed the stuff for his workshop!
I was amazed at how well and quickly things were wrapped up and boxed!
Obviously not the cheapest was but it was very successful!
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
400
Hello @Sza . I helped my mum and dad move near me when mum already had signs of vascular dementia but no diagnosis. I took time off and stayed near them for a week or two (brother's house) and we also hired a removal firm with packers (good suggestion from @Spamar). Mum followed me around the house with one shoe and a hairbrush in a carrier bag. She had a pile of carriers, each with just one or two things in bless 'er. If you can, get as much professional help as possible to make things go smoothly if family can't be on hand. I did most of the paperwork and so on too, to take the pressure off Dad who was ill. My brother and I took one parent and valuables/very fragile things in a car each to the new place and we did all the unpacking together over a couple of days. Mum and Dad stayed with me the first night to make things easier. It was a busy few weeks. Best to write a detailed plan of action in advance!
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
12,861
South coast
I think it depnds on how far advanced your dads dementia is. If hes in the early stages it could work very well, but if he is more advanced he could find the whole process of packing up, moving and trying to cope in a new setting extremely distressing.
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
400
As @canary says, there is a lot to be taken into consideration and the various pros and cons need to be weighed up. I didn't say it was easy! One option is for your parents to stay with family during the whole process if that is appropriate. Then the whole mess of boxing up, clearing out etc can be done without them and they would both be protected from a lot of the stress. It would take a bit of organisation and some help from family/friends if possible.

I came across an old thread which may be of some interest.