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Moving house or not

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by Trisha4, Jan 15, 2015.

  1. Trisha4

    Trisha4 Registered User

    Jan 16, 2014
    2,442
    Yorkshire
    I'm after some thoughts from all of you who understand. Our house is not suitable for older people because it has many steps. We moved here eight and a half years ago and it suits us now but, if I wait 3 or 4 years to make the move, I am concerned it will be even harder for husband to settle in a new house and, of course, harder for me to organise. At the moment he could still help choose another house and could help with the physical act of moving although obviously I would have to do all the legal, financial, etc stuff. I am concerned that a move could make him worse in terms of Alzheimers. I feel it's a bit of a dilemma.


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  2. esmeralda

    esmeralda Registered User

    Nov 27, 2014
    3,072
    Devon
    Moving house is always so stressful and difficult at the best of times isn't it Trish. We moved here 4 years ago. My husband was quite physically disabled so not able to help physically but could be involved in the decision. However - although not diagnosed many of his thinking process were not really 100% and he took against several very suitable properties.
    We now both love where we are, in some ways it's a property that's hard work for me physically (big garden , mixed blessing) but it is a bungalow for which we are both extremely grateful. It's also near shops, library, doctor bus routes etc which is very helpful for me - I'm not getting any younger and it's nice to be able to walk and not take the car if I'm going out on my own.
    Everyone is different but do you think your husband would settle in better if he was able to be part of choosing your new home? I found moving quite emotional and we're all dealing with loss continually as our partners change. Be kind to yourself
    Top tip - start decluttering now! Our move from 4 bedroomed Victorian house to 2 bedroomed bungalow was horrendous.
    Hope it works out whatever you decide.
     
  3. SoyHJ

    SoyHJ Registered User

    Mar 16, 2013
    477
    We intend to move house this year. The NP warned me to be prepared for increased cognitive and behavioural problems initially (OH is still at mild stage AD) but said that after we settle these should start to disappear. His advice was better to do it now than to wait longer (I'd suggested a year or so later) when a move would be likely to cause greater disturbances. Don't know if this helps but I do understand your dilemma.
     
  4. pamann

    pamann Registered User

    Oct 28, 2013
    2,635
    Kent
    Hello Trisha4 we moved 6yrs ago my hubby was very eary stages with AD, all went well, we downsized from large Georgian property to small bungalow, l would say it took 5yrs to adjust, so pleased now we moved when we did, my hubby is now middle stages, he does very little to help me, l feel we did the right thing, don't leave it too long. ♡♡♡
     
  5. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,593
    Female
    Scotland
    We moved 4 years ago to this modern property. The insulation is brilliant so our fuel bills are the lowest ever and the house always warm. It is easy to run this house and we chose one with good access to public transport, doctors and dentists, and the kinds of facilities we like. As John was in the very early stages then he was able to do all the little jobs we needed but within two years that was disappearing fast.

    He does not now know our address and gets lost each and every time he goes out on his own so I am so glad we got established before this happened. If you need to move don't delay.
     
  6. Trisha4

    Trisha4 Registered User

    Jan 16, 2014
    2,442
    Yorkshire
    Thank you all so much for your views. You all seem to be pointing to sooner rather than later. I think my next step is to get our house valued. Thank you again for understanding my problem and for responding. This is such a supportive site.


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  7. esmeralda

    esmeralda Registered User

    Nov 27, 2014
    3,072
    Devon
    Hope all goes well with this Trisha. I know your situation is inevitably different from mine and my husband was already disabled but I honestly never expected his mobility to deteriorate so fast and I dread to think how we would have managed in the old house. Additionally we have had time to build up some happy memories here. Good luck with everything.
     

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