1. Cag123

    Cag123 New member

    Nov 4, 2019
    4
    Female
    Sunny Cornwall
    Hello, I'm a new member to TP but have been reading the posts for over 3 years for help and information. My dad has been in a care home (he was diagnosed with Vascular dementia) for 3 years and it is not suitable for him now. The family have been looking at alternative Care/Nursing homes (Dad is self funding). I have read that this may upset my dad to move but my question is Can we ask more than 1 new home to assess dad ?
     
  2. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,667
    I am unable to answer this but have a sneaky suspicion that next week I might be in the same boat as you. Care needs assessment. So I hope someone will know the answers
    X
     
  3. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,305
    Merseyside
    Welcome to DTP @Cag123
    You can ask more than one to assess him.
     
  4. Sirena

    Sirena Registered User

    Feb 27, 2018
    1,772
    Female
    As others have said, yes of course you can ask more than one care home to assess him. I hope you find a CH you are happy with.
     
  5. Cag123

    Cag123 New member

    Nov 4, 2019
    4
    Female
    Sunny Cornwall
    Thank you for the replies. I hope I may be able to answer a question for you all at some point. Keep smiling
     
  6. Moose1966

    Moose1966 Registered User

    Feb 10, 2017
    110
    Female
    Staffordshire
    I moved my Mum from CH to NH in April it wasn’t by choice but CH couldn’t meet her needs found a NH and made the move . It was scary and I felt absolutely awful moving her after 2 years but we did it , 7 months and on she’s still with us despite the poor health prior to move, the new home are fantastic . It was stressful to say the least but she’s definitely in a better place for the care she needs . Yes look around and get as much feedback from from potential new homes as possible , it’s tough but worthwhile for our loved ones . Good luck .
     
  7. Pootle23

    Pootle23 Registered User

    Oct 21, 2019
    12
    Sorry to jump in on your thread. We are having difficulty moving Dad. He needs to be moved as where he is is not meeting his needs and realistically the care home don’t really want him there. Since Mum has passed away he will become self funding but this doesn’t seam to help us. Found a few homes we like the look of also that have availability but once the home has been to do assessment so far they have all refused to take him. Though we as a family are sure that some of the issues he has at the current home would be settled if he was given the opportunity to move where they are move pro active in supporting his needs as they claim they can do??? Feel like we are going round in circles. Where do we stand on this situation.
     
  8. Moose1966

    Moose1966 Registered User

    Feb 10, 2017
    110
    Female
    Staffordshire
    Gosh what a tough situation, I was lucky mum never presented with any issues that CH couldn’t meet . Her move was triggered by palliative care nurse who believed mum had days / weeks to live and the CH felt she needed nursing care due to being bedridden and dependent on feeding by staff . That said I was against the clock to find NH that had room and or no waiting list , I found one and the move went very well . I found the time spent searching was time that I wanted to be with mum it wasn’t easy . Good luck .
     
  9. Pootle23

    Pootle23 Registered User

    Oct 21, 2019
    12
    I totally agree it’s all so time consuming and it is precious time that you wish to spend with your Mum or Dad. And so emotional to. All the best to you too
     
  10. Cag123

    Cag123 New member

    Nov 4, 2019
    4
    Female
    Sunny Cornwall
    A Nursing Home has assessed dad and said he is not suitable as he was asking quite loudly for a cup of coffee while the assessor was visiting and also because dad does not have a Do Not Resuscitate in place. Has anyone come across the DNR issue before. How do I go about getting one? I think this may open a can of worms!
     
  11. Louise7

    Louise7 Registered User

    Mar 25, 2016
    1,312
    To be honest it sounds like they just didn't want to take your Dad so were looking for excuses. The fact that he asked loudly for a cup of coffee shouldn't be a reason not to take him as nursing homes should be used to dementia patients, and I've never heard of it being a requirement to have a DNAR in place in order for a home to take someone - Mum has been in 3 different homes over the last 18 months and none asked for one. I think you can arrange one via the GP if you want to, and some homes will arrange for this to be done after admission, but as you have indicated that you are intending to get other homes to assess your Dad then personally I'd wait to see if they actually raise this as an issue.
     
  12. Lirene

    Lirene Registered User

    Sep 15, 2019
    108
    Mum has been in a nursing home for over 11 years, and they asked me recently if she had a DNR. Yes she does, and they eventually found it. Maybe there is new legislation. Yes, it can be sorted through GP.
    Love and hugs xx
     
  13. Sirena

    Sirena Registered User

    Feb 27, 2018
    1,772
    Female
    I agree they were just looking for excuses not to take him. My mother didn't have a DNR when she moved to a care home, and the question was never raised beforehand. When I did a care review with the manager a few months later, she suggested it. I agreed to it, the GP authorised it, and it was put in place. But if I hadn't agreed they would not have ejected her, they just thought it would be the best thing for her.
     
  14. Cag123

    Cag123 New member

    Nov 4, 2019
    4
    Female
    Sunny Cornwall
    So the latest is that a good nursing home in our home town has agreed to take dad when a bed becomes available. The care home dad is currently in has called today to say they have spoken to dad and he has said that he wants to stay at this home (dad was questioned at 12.30pm after his lunch - dad loves his food so he was probably content at the time). The care home are calling a Best Interest meeting with adult social care because of this. As I have already said dad is self funding. My view is that they want to keep dad as he pays. I visited dad this evening and recorded my conversation with him. As he was eating his tea we discussed the weather, food and many other things and then I asked about the care home and if he was happy to stay there. He said he would "rather be anywhere else". I am hoping this will be enough for Social Services to see sense and let dad move. We have POA for finance but not Health. Any help or advice would be gratefully appreciated if anyone else has gone through this. Thanks
     
  15. Louise7

    Louise7 Registered User

    Mar 25, 2016
    1,312
    It seems odd for a home to want to keep someone just because they pay as most homes have waiting lists so the room would unlikely stay empty for long. You mentioned in your first post that the home is not suitable for your Dad so probably best to concentrate on why you feel that the home isn't suitable. If you haven't already done so make a list of the relevant issues with dates and supporting evidence (if applicable) so that you can explain to the social worker why you think that it would be in your Dad's best interests to move to another home.
     
  16. Sirena

    Sirena Registered User

    Feb 27, 2018
    1,772
    Female
    My mother is in a care home and is self funding. I have finance POA but not health, but that has not so far been a bar to me providing whatever type of care I think is best for her. From what you say, there is a dispute between you and the care home as to whether it is in his best interests to stay or move, which is why social services are now involved.

    As you have found, it is pointless asking the PWD (person with dementia) what they want, because you will get a completely different answer depending on who asks, and when. Often the person will give the answer they think the questioner seems to want. I am not sure recording what he said will be helpful, Social Services will want to ask him the question when they meet him, and unfortunately it's pot luck what his answer will be, he won't understand the consequences of his reply. I hope you get the right result for him.
     
  17. shaktibhakti

    shaktibhakti Registered User

    Sep 5, 2016
    13
    brighton
    My mothers in st helleir hospital now, been there a week..she now needs oxygen and the carehome shes in in sutton dosent supply that so im now looking for a nursing home. we are self funding too...nursing homes are much more expensive. my mother has advanced dementia and stil knows me but is difficult. im researching noe and wondering wether to bring her back to East london as i will be moving back into her flat in 2months hopefully. IM sure you can get several homes to assess your father. I would if possible and of course they have to have vacancies
     
  18. shaktibhakti

    shaktibhakti Registered User

    Sep 5, 2016
    13
    brighton
    Of course somebody with dementia ,advanced dosent have the capacity. I have both POA s. but i was surprised today when the reception woman came in to discuss and i took her out of the ward....best as mum gets confused and i dont want to discuss her health whilst shes there! phew... sociol services are sometimes idio
     
  19. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,667
    I’m fed up with the whole funding issues

    if someone needs oxygen that’s medical not social need.
    EOL care is surely medical therefore NHS funded!
    Ridiculous systems!

    sympathies to all struggling through it!
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.