Mum has moderate/severe dementia been in a residential care home now for just over 3 weeks. On the whole she says she's settling in but on occasions will get very upset about not being able to go home. This is usually triggered when dad visits, when he leaves this upsets her every time. Dad is finding it incredibly hard adjusting to being on his own and i'm not sure if he says things which make her feel she wants to go with him. (He visits nearly every day). I've raised this issue with him and he denies it but the manager says she overheard him saying he wants her home. There were very good reasons why mum went into the home and these things cannot be changed as far as I can see. She went there for her safety and wellbeing. Dad could not cope and was losing his temper, a lot. The decision involved many professionals who agreed it was the only option. Since being in the home she has been eating and drinking well. Gets on with the staff Ok and a couple of the residents. BUT... Her walking has deteriorated a lot, she is also very unsteady He confusion has increased significantly and she often talks about things that don't make a lot of sense to me, about children being in the home etc She has started having accidents wetting the bed She gets very bored (there are no activities but she was never one to get involved anyway) I don't know if we should stick with it, would these things have happened anyway or has the stress triggered these new problems. The only solution in dad's mind is to have a live in carer, which mum won't agree too, and they can't manage otherwise. They had carer's 4 times a day but mum used to flip as she did not like the intrusion and was jealous of the girls who chatted to dad a lot. I wish there was an alternative. I know she is safe, warm, well fed and looked after but I also know she has got a lot worse in 3 weeks, and gets upset sometimes. I know there is no magic solution I suppose I just wanted to hear some views. What would you do? A very worried daughter.