1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

Move into residential care.

Discussion in 'Middle - later stages of dementia' started by Tango2708, Oct 15, 2015.

  1. Tango2708

    Tango2708 Registered User

    Oct 15, 2015
    2
    We as a family are going through a very difficult time at the moment. Mums Dementia is progressing and Dad has been struggling to cope. He is undergoing treatment for Cancer and has other health problems as well.
    I have managed to find some respite care for Mum to give Dad a rest, but he is so distressed at her going into care that he is getting no rest or sleep at all! On top of that Mum is not settling into the home and just pleads to come home. I'm not sure that the care home is set up to care for Mum who is very mobile and needs a lot of stimulation. Dad wants me to bring her home all the time and I feel I will have to do this even if it all breaks down again. HELP!!!
     
  2. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    9,768
    Merseyside
    Welcome to TP :)

    Any change is always unsettling. Do you think given time they will each settle?
     
  3. Mrsbusy

    Mrsbusy Registered User

    Aug 15, 2015
    356
    I know that it's very unpleasant o see your Mum unsettled etc but she is in a safe place with people helping her full time. Your Dad won't feel upto or be able to give her that much care which she needs. Can you not say to your Dad that his GP insist that she stays there so he can recuperate and gets his strength back or he will end up in hospital again for his health in which case your mother will be put back into a care home until he is released again, therefore unsettling her again.

    He needs to be persuaded to be a little selfish, I know it's not easy, but I'm sure he needs every bit of respite he can get for a few weeks or days and then maybe visit it her once you know she has settled. Maybe if he sees her happier in the home he will accept the situation.

    I know on TP we say about little lies, but it's not only in dementia sometimes we have to shield the other parent from the truth and say she is doing better than she is, then he will maybe not beat himself up about it. Just stretch the truth sometimes and give him peace of mind.
     

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