1. nikita

    nikita Registered User

    Jul 31, 2004
    92
    will be spoiling my mum more thaan usual this year as its coming up to grans 2nd anniversary last year she went away for the weekend. I would give anything to go to and visit her in the nursing home this year instead of her putting flowers on her grave, give all your loved ones especially the mums an extra hug from me tomorrow and treasure every moment.
     
  2. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    my relationship change so much with my mother that I feel that I am her mother now . my older daughter taking me out for a meal as she always make it special for me , I don't feel in the mood for it in making another day special for my mother as I care for her every day of the year at home with me so every day must be mother day for my mother if you get my point :)
     
  3. janjan

    janjan Registered User

    Jan 27, 2006
    229
    Birmingham
    :)Have a lovely time out Margarita. You truly deserve a treat out. You look after your mom so well. Jan x
     
  4. melly

    melly Registered User

    Mar 1, 2008
    19
    I have been into this forum so many times over the past 2 years but have never felt able to write anything. Tonight I really felt as though I need to...

    I am 23 and my mum has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's for just over 2 years now. It's obviously mothers day tomorrow and I have found it incredibly hard picking the perfect card for her.

    She is the most gentle and lovely person and it breaks my heart every day to see her 'disappearing'. I have been searching for the perfect card over the past couple weeks but the words never seem appropriate. She can't 'be there' for me anymore and saying 'thank you for all the things you do for me' just feels false because she isn't capable of doing things for me anymore. I don't know what to say...is it bad to feel like this????
     
  5. nickyd

    nickyd Registered User

    Oct 20, 2007
    146
    warwickshire
    Hi All,
    This Mother's Day is going to be very sad for me and my Family.
    It has been 6 months since we lost our Beautiful Mum(she really was)
    I don't know it doesn't get any easier, you just have to get used to them not being around, and let me tell you that's not easy.. As I'm sure you know...
    Tomorrow, I will take my gifts to Mum, A basket of flowers, a plaque, balloon to tie to bench, card.. Oh.. how I wish I could give them to her in person..
    Feeling cheated and bitter tonight(I know it's normal)
    Lots of Love as Always,
    Take care all of you,
     
  6. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,652
    Kent
    Sorry Nicky, there`s no way I can make it easier for you.
    It`s nobody`s fault.:(
    Love xx
     
  7. nickyd

    nickyd Registered User

    Oct 20, 2007
    146
    warwickshire
    Thanks Grannie,
    I'll be ok, I have to be, simple as that..
    Hope you have a nice day..
    Love,
     
  8. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    5,379
    NW England
    A tough day for many

    And why I'm sleepless ..... Mother's Day has never been a good time for me ..... and those wretched cards with their 'sloppy verses' ...:(

    It's a tough time for a lot of people - dementia related or not ......

    Sorry to be cynical, but another media hype which tells us to 'be happy' ..... when many of us will struggle through the day .......

    Best wishes to everyone who has ever loved a mother (which I guess includes most people!), K, x
     
  9. mojofilter

    mojofilter Registered User

    May 10, 2006
    130
    St.Helens
    No cards tomorrow but I will be popping to the Crematorium to wish her all the best and to tell her that I love and miss her....

    It's something I do everyday, in my own little way .... No idea why I feel the need to go there ...

    Paul
     
  10. 117katie

    117katie Guest

    Know that feeling too, Paul, "every day in my own little way". Far more meaningful than the commercial goo that Tender Face mentions.

    No cards today
    Just my own little way
    Of talking to my Mum
    And my Other Mum.


    Katie
     
  11. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    #11 Margarita, Mar 2, 2008
    Last edited: Mar 2, 2008
    Hi melly


    I know what you mean , No not at all is it bad to feel like that , you being realistic and truthful .

    you could just write on the card .

    Thank - you for being my mother I love you .

    your still young 23 you must miss your mother dearly how she was before she got dementia and all the future time you could of had with her if she had not got dementia

    for me I am to old to long in the tooth for all the sentimental stuff . I loved it when they where all younger and use to bring me breakfast in bed , 4 of them arriving at bedroom door with tray in they hand , then my son behind them with a flower in his hand . may be painful for you now to look back on those pass childhood mother day memory , but may be in the future when your ready they give you confront


    I have a daughter of your age well year older 24 and I would rather she help me all years around rather then just One day a year showing her appreciation of me being her mother, taking me out for a meal , mind you I am not complaining .

    but then it make my other to daughter feel guilty that they not doing anything . my younger daughter 21 wanted to take me to the cinema, while my middle daughter just give me a card .

    so now middle daughter 22 is going to look after mum . while younger daughter older daughter are taking me out for the meal .

    my son painted the whole house white last week for me , so it won't enter his head that just because they made this day mother day he has to get me a card to show me his love , because we both know we love each other all the time , just like you and your mother do .

    You must just miss her , like I still miss my father xx
     
  12. BeverleyY

    BeverleyY Registered User

    Jan 29, 2008
    716
    Ashford, Kent
    I feel exactly the same.

    I lost Mum 6 weeks ago. I took her flowers to the cemetery this morning, and my daugthers wrote their card to her and placed it in cellophane to keep it dry.

    How I wish she was here to take out for a lovely meal.

    Beverley x
     
  13. Mameeskye

    Mameeskye Registered User

    Aug 9, 2007
    1,669
    NZ
    Today for me I was a "Mother" rather than went to visit my Mother. I, like many others, found it difficult to find a card which represented our new relationship. I did however take some gifts and leave them in the home for her to have today.

    Then, without guilt, I gave my day to my family and sons, from the 5.30am wake up as C was so eager to bring me my card, to ahving a bit of time myself, to ahving a lovely meal prepared by my hubbie tonight with his parents and my sons and a neighbour who was one her own with ehr daughter tonight.

    I have remembered my Mum this Mother's Day. but I have also given my young sons a lovely Mother's Day to remember for themselves.

    Maybe it was easier as we were never in our house about set days and anniversaries, always feeling that this was the way to behave throughout the year and not needing it to be special jsut for a set day.

    As Margarita says I care for my Mum 365 days a year.(366 even this year)

    I love her very much but I have ghad a good day with my young family.

    Mameeskye
     
  14. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,652
    Kent
    Well done Mameeskye,

    You have accepted what you cannot change and made the best of what you have.

    It`s good to hear of your lovely Mother`s day with your sons. I hope it`s the first of many.

    Love xx
     
  15. DickG

    DickG Registered User

    Feb 26, 2006
    558
    Stow-on-the-Wold
    Never mind all the soppy sentimental verses - "I love you" are the most important words ever spoken.

    The greatest pleasure I have had for some time was today when a member of staff read my daughters card to Mary she said "That's my daughter and son-in-law" and this from someone who sometimes struggles to recognise her husband of fifty years!

    Dick
     
  16. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    3,453
    Dear Melly,
    Of course it is not wrong to think it.....I remember your feelings so well.

    My mum died last summer......being quite honest, i found it so good this year not having to stand in card shops, breaking my heart over cards that talked about a mother I nolonger had.
    I lit a candle for her at dinner last night (the one that I had bought her at Christmas).....and she was with us.

    Melly your feelings are yours......dont worry about right and wrong.

    Love Helen
     

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