1. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    3,453
    Hiya Nikita,
    Don't worry about the tears - they are part of the healing. My children's grandfather died suddenly last year, and whenever Leicester win at football one of them will say "Grandad will be pleased". Your gran will never be far from you.
    Take care,
    Amy
     
  2. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    5,379
    NW England
     
  3. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    5,379
    NW England
    This is great!

    Nikita, I'm newish here and don't know your whole story but glanced back at some posts... This is obviously a tough, tough time, but well done buying the flowers!

    I love this season when tulips are on sale - my dad hated them for most of his life - so I bought them in 'defiance' and when he was ill, he admitted he actually started to like them!

    Mum was adamant we wouldn't have a grave/stone/plaque for dad after he died, and I hated the fact I had nowhere 'specific' to go to offer prayers and/or tributes - still do now after seven years.

    But what I can do - like you - is buy a bunch of tulips - stick them on the mantlepiece - and smile!!!!

    Well done you, if you have already identified a specific 'trigger' for becoming upset, like Sunday tea-time, or on your way home from work. Can you plan to 'do' something completely different at that time? Or might it help more to have that time to yourself and do nothing at all but give yourself 'permission' to some time you deserve?

    With love, Tender Face, x
     
  4. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    Tender Face
    Thanks for bring that up, because in the back of my mind I have also wonder that.

    Also what if it had happen to my dad ,if he had got AD, I know that in myself that I could not of wash dad down ,like I do with mum or creaming between her privet part so it does not get sore ,let alone getting a key to a toilet & watching him .

    I wonder if there is any daughter out there that has done this for there fathers?

    I mention to someone at the care home mum in, that when mum got to the stage of being incontinent , I don’t feel like I could take her nappy of & clean her, he said that its amazing what you can do when your in that situation, he did it for his father for 2 years
     

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