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Mother with early onset dementia

Pamela1503

New member
Jun 23, 2022
2
0
Hi my mother was diagnosed with early onset dementia back in December 2021. She lives in sheltered accommodation with carers going in three times a day to give her medication. I'm worried about her, she gets up to take her medication, then goes back to bed, gets up for lunchtime medication and has a sandwich or a bit of toast then goes back to bed and then around 5-6 in the afternoon gets up for a meal but she doesn't have a meal everyday. She hasn't been showering, she hasn't been out of her flat since around February, I get her a bit of shopping every Thursday. Is this normal for a person with dementia? I feel guilty that she has got no life left.
 

jaymor

Volunteer Moderator
Jul 14, 2006
15,134
0
South Staffordshire
Hi @Pamela1503 and welcome to the forum.

My husband needed continuous stimulation and direction once Alzheimers got a firm hold on him. He was incapable of making a decision or occupying himself. If your mum is not leaving her flat she isn’t getting any stimulation and the easy way for her is just to go to bed.

Maybe a befriender might help her, someone to call in and sit and chat or even try to get her to leave her flat. You could see if your Social Services have a scheme or the care company who come in.

It could be that Mum is happy to organise her day as she has and any attempt to add some company won’t be accepted but worth a try if only to put your mind at rest.
 

Pamela1503

New member
Jun 23, 2022
2
0
Hi @Pamela1503 and welcome to the forum.

My husband needed continuous stimulation and direction once Alzheimers got a firm hold on him. He was incapable of making a decision or occupying himself. If your mum is not leaving her flat she isn’t getting any stimulation and the easy way for her is just to go to bed.

Maybe a befriender might help her, someone to call in and sit and chat or even try to get her to leave her flat. You could see if your Social Services have a scheme or the care company who come in.

It could be that Mum is happy to organise her day as she has and any attempt to add some company won’t be accepted but worth a try if only to put your mind at rest.
She's had an assessment because in my eyes she would be better in a care home, she was in one for eight weeks last year to get her back on her feet and she was a changed person. I just feel that because she isn't self funding, a danger to herself and not be violent the care system is just leaving her to her own devices
 

thistlejak

Registered User
Jun 6, 2020
273
0
@Pamela1503 - Unfortunately if your mum is relying on the LA to fund a care home they have a process to go through first. They will not fund a care home until 4 care visit a day have been shown to fail.
What was the outcome of the assessment? Did your mum says she was 'fine and needed no help whatsoever!' or the other classic - 'my daughter does everything for me!'
Looking at what you have told us it might be worth trying to get carers to do a morning visit for a shower and an evening visit to make a meal as a start and build up from there.
It is hard having to work with the system when you know that things could be a lot better for her.
Hope you can make some progress.