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Mother with dementia

Rosepop

Registered User
Apr 27, 2015
2
Cambridgeshire
My mother has dementia, her speech is just random words, she hasn't had a bath for a year, she wet herself three days ago and we can't get her soiled clothes off her. Her MRI scan was inconclusive, so they said they would call it Alzheimer's and treat accordingly . But since being discharged by hospital nearly 4 yrs ago she is much worse. I see people talking about stages in this illness, but have no idea where Mum is. She is 75 and her main carer is my Dad who is 87. He has done so well, but is now finding it very hard. Has anyone had these speech and cleanliness problems and how did you cope?
Thankyou
J
 

daisydi

Registered User
Feb 25, 2015
255
Norfolk
Hi one of the hardest things for me was to deal with my mums personal hygiene. We didnt have the speech problems but I would get absolutely exasperated with my mum not being clean and smelling when she fought me all the time saying I was making it up and that she didnt smell. I am afraid I just had to get really tough with her and almost bully her into the shower. It is not something I am proud of and maybe I didnt deal with it properly but I had no help and no understanding of what was going on in her head. Carers were not allowed to force her to have a shower, in fact they didnt do anything for her so I gave up on that front. I really do not know what the answer is but I know I couldnt take any more and she is now being cared for in a residential home. I was constantly battling with my mum over one thing or another but all I wanted was for her to be clean and normal which unfortunately never happened. I got to the stage where I really hated her for what she was doing to me and that is not easy to admit. It wasnt her fault but it wasnt mine either. I am glad I have passed that side of the caring over to the carehome staff. She is much cleaner and nicer smelling now and we have a much better relationship again. Good luck on this nasty journey.
 

chelsea girl

Registered User
Jan 25, 2015
139
My mum used to be the cleanest person around in her personal care and within the home, sparkling windows etc. Now she has alz and some of the things she does is disgusting!! Putting her hands down her pants and covering her hand with excrement!! A while back she had poo on her hand so she flicked it all round the bathroom ugh!!. She always insisted that she washed properly but since her hospitalization last july i have gone in with her to the bathroom and i dont ask her to wash, i tell her and i help, she is cleaner now and not so smelly ( apart from occasional accidents). Maybe its best to tell them cos if u ask they argue with u and it ends up in a row!! Hope that helps? X
 

patsy56

Registered User
Jan 14, 2015
839
Fife Scotland
Hi girls, oh thank you for this I thought I was the only one. Yes mother used to be so house proud and clean , but now, yes smells....we at least manage (I think) to get the home helps to take her laundrey to cleaners and get her bedding changed. I live 50miles away and work 5 days, and also my husband has Parkinsons so am his main carer.
As for cleaning she just washes with a face cloth which I try to check when I do go to see her (3wks) and check. At least clothes are cleaner, but sister says funny smell from airing cupboard, I am going doen this weekend so will check, but think I will be disposing of towels.
 

Kate01

Registered User
Jul 9, 2012
8
A trick for changing someone, or removing their clothes

My husband with Dementia never likes me taking his trousers & pants off him, so I give him something to hold in one or both hands, to keep them from squeezing my hands, take a large towel and wrap it around his waist, then just like when you change into a swim costume at the beach, undo his trousers, and slip them off. He doesnt seem to mind if his privates are covered. mind you its much easier if there are two of you doing it.
I think if someone started to undress me, I would make a big fuss too.
Ive also started dressing him in track suit bottoms.
At the hospital recently, they used a different type of 'pull up' continence pad, that wraps around the waist and a bit comes through the legs and sticks on., they are a bit fiddly until you get used to them, but it saves having to take clothes completely off.
Good luck.

My mother has dementia, her speech is just random words, she hasn't had a bath for a year, she wet herself three days ago and we can't get her soiled clothes off her. Her MRI scan was inconclusive, so they said they would call it Alzheimer's and treat accordingly . But since being discharged by hospital nearly 4 yrs ago she is much worse. I see people talking about stages in this illness, but have no idea where Mum is. She is 75 and her main carer is my Dad who is 87. He has done so well, but is now finding it very hard. Has anyone had these speech and cleanliness problems and how did you cope?
Thankyou
J