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Mother with Alzheimers Dementia


New member
Jun 29, 2020
We are five months into looking after mum who has been diagnosed after dad had a double stroke and was placed in a care home. Mums short term memory is non existant and cannot retain information for more than a minute. It's been a learning curve all of it from having to apply for guardianship at the court of protection which takes forever to getting involved with medics on a daily basis. Were just about to start home help with a good company but mum is so very resistant to any help and we can see her being an issue with the carer. The CPN Nurse and OT have presented it as their idea which she seems to respect. Anyone else in this situation?

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Welcome to Dementia Talking Point @Bill11651

The CPN Nurse and OT have presented it as their idea which she seems to respect.
This is the best strategy in my experience. Blame it on the professionals and then you are not setting yourself up to be blamed when there is resistance.

I`m pleased you`ve found this forum. You`ll be well supported here and will be able to learn a lot from those who are ahead of you, which was what I found invaluable.


Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
South coast
mum is so very resistant to any help
I think this is almost universal. So many of them have no idea that they are not able to do things themselves any more and are unable to comprehend the idea. You just have to get on with it. Coming up with some sort of excuse that they will accept, or blaming the professionals is the best way to go.


Registered User
Jun 23, 2020
How reassuring to read that someone else has the same issues! A resistant mother is a certain kind of hell!

I feel for you.


Registered User
Feb 28, 2018
Oh yes, I feel your pain! My mother is becoming increasingly aware of being "dopey" but still thinks she is perfectly capable of doing everything and doesn't need help. I live with her. It is bloody hard at times. She presents very well and appears to go along with suggestions that my sister and professionals make but then totally rejects them. We did pay for someone to take her to do the weekly food shop but she had no idea she was paying for it and that ceased when covid came along anyway. I would prefer to get a cleaner in after lockdown but she will totally not want that and I am so worn out that I am not sure I can face the trauma of forcing the issue.

Good luck!