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Mother refusing to return to doctor

Pebblepebble

Registered User
May 29, 2022
15
0
Hello everyone. Last year when on holiday with my parents it was obvious my 84 year old Mum was having memory problems. When I spoke to Dad he said it had been going on for a while probably since the start of lockdown. He hadn't told us as didn't want to worry us. Despite many conversations on the phone (lots of repeating stories but she has done that for years) I hadn't really picked up on this. Despite her assurances she was fine and didn't have Dementia we persuaded her to go to the doctor. Doctor said she was OK and put her onto a 3 month course of tablets as she was low in folate - not surprising she hardly eats anything and when she does it is rubbish. She was supposed to go back in October but has refused ever since. She thinks because she can still get on a horse and touch her toes she's fine. Dad has tried nice and nasty but she isn't budging. At one point she wrote a doctors appointment on the diary and then confessed on the day she didn't have one, she had put it in to keep him quiet. Fast forward to a few weeks ago when my brother went away with them for a few days. She was asking him what he wanted for breakfast immediately after he had finished eating. When I take her to a show she keeps asking what time the show starts. And she has been asking Dad if he has had dinner when she has made it for him. I am going to write to the doctors in the hope they might call her back for the blood test she should have had at the end of last year. Any suggestions gratefully received.
 

KatyKat

Registered User
May 8, 2022
111
0
Hello everyone. Last year when on holiday with my parents it was obvious my 84 year old Mum was having memory problems. When I spoke to Dad he said it had been going on for a while probably since the start of lockdown. He hadn't told us as didn't want to worry us. Despite many conversations on the phone (lots of repeating stories but she has done that for years) I hadn't really picked up on this. Despite her assurances she was fine and didn't have Dementia we persuaded her to go to the doctor. Doctor said she was OK and put her onto a 3 month course of tablets as she was low in folate - not surprising she hardly eats anything and when she does it is rubbish. She was supposed to go back in October but has refused ever since. She thinks because she can still get on a horse and touch her toes she's fine. Dad has tried nice and nasty but she isn't budging. At one point she wrote a doctors appointment on the diary and then confessed on the day she didn't have one, she had put it in to keep him quiet. Fast forward to a few weeks ago when my brother went away with them for a few days. She was asking him what he wanted for breakfast immediately after he had finished eating. When I take her to a show she keeps asking what time the show starts. And she has been asking Dad if he has had dinner when she has made it for him. I am going to write to the doctors in the hope they might call her back for the blood test she should have had at the end of last year. Any suggestions gratefully received.
My Mum would have refused to go the doctor if asked. I resorted to subterfuge on the advice of friends and family...I called the doctor's office and thoroughly explained the situation, then requested that the receptionist give my Mum a call, saying that the Dr. needed her back for a routine checkup. Since Mum couldn't remember the last time she'd had a checkup, this worked like a charm. Of course, the whole week before her appointment, she kept asking when it was and then protesting that she wanted to cancel...
 

Jessie107

Registered User
Aug 11, 2016
59
0
Brighton
Hello everyone. Last year when on holiday with my parents it was obvious my 84 year old Mum was having memory problems. When I spoke to Dad he said it had been going on for a while probably since the start of lockdown. He hadn't told us as didn't want to worry us. Despite many conversations on the phone (lots of repeating stories but she has done that for years) I hadn't really picked up on this. Despite her assurances she was fine and didn't have Dementia we persuaded her to go to the doctor. Doctor said she was OK and put her onto a 3 month course of tablets as she was low in folate - not surprising she hardly eats anything and when she does it is rubbish. She was supposed to go back in October but has refused ever since. She thinks because she can still get on a horse and touch her toes she's fine. Dad has tried nice and nasty but she isn't budging. At one point she wrote a doctors appointment on the diary and then confessed on the day she didn't have one, she had put it in to keep him quiet. Fast forward to a few weeks ago when my brother went away with them for a few days. She was asking him what he wanted for breakfast immediately after he had finished eating. When I take her to a show she keeps asking what time the show starts. And she has been asking Dad if he has had dinner when she has made it for him. I am going to write to the doctors in the hope they might call her back for the blood test she should have had at the end of last year. Any suggestions gratefully received.
When my mother started showing memory problems she too refused to go to the doctor, as she thought nothing was wrong with her.
I managed to get her there on the pretense that she needed to get her vitamin d levels checked.
While we were there I passed him a note about my concerns.
 

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