My mother is 83 and has reasonably advanced alzheimers in a small country town in Australia. She knows she has bad memory loss and mostly it doesn't seem to bother her plus she tries to hide from me how bad it is. She has a good friend who has helped her constantly (as I live a days travel by plane then 4 hrs drive away) She is absolutely adamant that she will never move from her home and hates any mention of residential aged care She has been assessed by health authroities and a geriatric specialist as needing a 'care package' to enable her to stay living by herself. I organised for the service to call at her house and she refused the service saying she is fine. She is now too much for her friend to cope with. She isn't eating properly because she can't think what to buy. She seems to live on icecream, forgets her daily medication, doctors appointments, grandchildrens names, etc etc and has bouts of aggression and paranoia. She gets very confused and imagines that someone is coming to the house when no appointment has been made (or the person doesn't exist) She has previously accussed home help of stealing from her. She also has very confused long term memory and some major parts of her life are completely gone. Although she thinks her long term memory is great I know the things she says are incorrect. She really is not coping in her own home and her friend can't keep up the responsibility. She doesn't understand how bad she is. Doesn't realise she is phoning the same person 9 times in one night. Questions - I need to talk to her and explain that she needs the community care service. Do I tell her she has been diagnosed with Alzheimers and explain that she needs the extra help and that she will need to move to aged accommodation at some stage? I have power of attorney and guardianship for her but if I force her to have the help in the house she will hate me and the service providers. I don't know how to convince her to accept the help she needs. If I say it is too much for her friend she will turn on the friend. She has already turned on 5-6 local people who had previously helped her. If she does agree to sign up for the help she will immediately forget and refuse their entry the next day. Also she has on Aricept since March and her memory has declined hugely since then. It has had no effect at all. Can it have a negative effect on memory and mood? Any advice please??