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Most Difficult Days


Registered User
Oct 3, 2011
Four weeks ago Pat was admitted to hospital as she was unresponsive. Two weeks later medical checks did not identify any underlying cause other than her Alzheimer's/VaD and I was given her prognosis; she is now receiving End Of Life Care (EOLC) at home under NHS Continuing Care.
I am pleased I decided to have Pat at home where she is happiest listening to her music, and in a bed adjacent to the conservatory which is light and airy and in which we have spent very many happy hours together admiring the garden flowers, watching the birds feeding, and looking at the stars above on a cloudless night.
Though I know I made the right decision for Pat, and myself, and do not regret it for a moment, the last two weeks have been the most difficult I have had to endure throughout my life. It is heartbreaking to watch the deterioration in your loved one, when you know the outcome despite your best efforts to encourage a little drink or food which cannot be managed as it causes choking. In the end realisation hit home and I have had to accept there isn't any point in me continuing my efforts to encourage eating and drinking as this foul disease is taking Pat away from me. Despite her difficulties Pat still manages to give me her wonderful smile when she hears my voice and every now and then puckers her lips for a kiss which I willing oblige.
I suggest anyone facing a similar situation as ours considers very carefully whether to have their loved ones at home for EOLC as it truly is a time when the utmost courage and determination to be strong is required.
My best wishes to everyone.


Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
What a moving post Acco. Your love for Pat shines through.

Wishing you strength and Pat peace.


Registered User
Oct 18, 2010
North East England
You are building up a store of memories, some good and many painful. This is a very brave choice you have made and I have no doubt that it is the right one for you and Pat.
Thinking of you both.... with a tear in my eye.