Most Difficult Days

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by Acco, Jul 9, 2015.

  1. Acco

    Acco Registered User

    Oct 3, 2011
    228
    Four weeks ago Pat was admitted to hospital as she was unresponsive. Two weeks later medical checks did not identify any underlying cause other than her Alzheimer's/VaD and I was given her prognosis; she is now receiving End Of Life Care (EOLC) at home under NHS Continuing Care.
    I am pleased I decided to have Pat at home where she is happiest listening to her music, and in a bed adjacent to the conservatory which is light and airy and in which we have spent very many happy hours together admiring the garden flowers, watching the birds feeding, and looking at the stars above on a cloudless night.
    Though I know I made the right decision for Pat, and myself, and do not regret it for a moment, the last two weeks have been the most difficult I have had to endure throughout my life. It is heartbreaking to watch the deterioration in your loved one, when you know the outcome despite your best efforts to encourage a little drink or food which cannot be managed as it causes choking. In the end realisation hit home and I have had to accept there isn't any point in me continuing my efforts to encourage eating and drinking as this foul disease is taking Pat away from me. Despite her difficulties Pat still manages to give me her wonderful smile when she hears my voice and every now and then puckers her lips for a kiss which I willing oblige.
    I suggest anyone facing a similar situation as ours considers very carefully whether to have their loved ones at home for EOLC as it truly is a time when the utmost courage and determination to be strong is required.
    My best wishes to everyone.
     
  2. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    58,713
    Female
    Dundee
    What a moving post Acco. Your love for Pat shines through.

    Wishing you strength and Pat peace.
     
  3. cragmaid

    cragmaid Registered User

    Oct 18, 2010
    7,963
    North East England
    You are building up a store of memories, some good and many painful. This is a very brave choice you have made and I have no doubt that it is the right one for you and Pat.
    Thinking of you both.... with a tear in my eye.

    Maureen.x.
     
  4. Kjn

    Kjn Registered User

    Jul 27, 2013
    5,835
    Acco xx
     
  5. Lilac Blossom

    Lilac Blossom Registered User

    Oct 6, 2014
    499
    Scotland
    Bless you Acco xx
     
  6. bemused1

    bemused1 Registered User

    Mar 4, 2012
    3,403
    Inspirational acco and so so honest
     
  7. truth24

    truth24 Registered User

    Oct 13, 2013
    5,726
    North Somerset
    I'm glad that you have the courage to give your wife what she wants. Wishing you continued strength.
     
  8. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    6,967
    Brixham Devon
    A heartbreaking post Acco. I wish you continued strength and Pat a peaceful journey

    Love

    Lyn T XX
     

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