I completely understand and sympathise with you, I care for my mum and my mum-in-law.
Mum is 92 and has AD MIL is 86 and has Vascular Dementia. MIL is urinary incontinent and when she first came to live with us was also faecal incontinent although we have managed to sort that out as it was being caused by constipation (seems a contradiction I know) Apparently constipation can cause 'spillage' which may be why your mum is pooing so often. Worth looking in to. As for the ingratitude and callous treatment I know only too well how you feel my mum left us when I was 9 and my bro was 5. She has always favoured the boys but they don't want to know her so I am all she has. She talks about them and asks if I would like to meet 'her family'. It does make me angry because even though I am the one caring for her she still thinks her 'boys' are wonderful and that I am some other type of relative. I am on the verge of giving up on her as well as she keeps getting up at night and waking the household. Several times a night she gets dressed and tries to go downstairs (I have a stairgate at the top in case of falls) she gets confused between here and the day centre she attends and thinks there will be people awake downstairs. We have tried sleeping tablets, lorezapam and she is also on an anti depressant which is supposed to calm her down, but she is still a total bag of nerves and wandering at night. YOU ARE NOT BEING HARD, BEING A CARER IS A THANKLESS TASK AND YOU ABSOLUTELY MUST PUT YOURSELF FIRST. THEY HAVE HAD THEIR LIFE AND YOU ARE ENTITLED TO YOURS. MY heart goes out to you and I hope this has helped a bit. x
PS I agree with everyone else, be selfish and do whatever it takes to get action as quick as you can, SW's are great at making you wait and will do so as long as you put up with it, Put your foot down, enough is enough. Good luck to you xxx
Mum is 92 and has AD MIL is 86 and has Vascular Dementia. MIL is urinary incontinent and when she first came to live with us was also faecal incontinent although we have managed to sort that out as it was being caused by constipation (seems a contradiction I know) Apparently constipation can cause 'spillage' which may be why your mum is pooing so often. Worth looking in to. As for the ingratitude and callous treatment I know only too well how you feel my mum left us when I was 9 and my bro was 5. She has always favoured the boys but they don't want to know her so I am all she has. She talks about them and asks if I would like to meet 'her family'. It does make me angry because even though I am the one caring for her she still thinks her 'boys' are wonderful and that I am some other type of relative. I am on the verge of giving up on her as well as she keeps getting up at night and waking the household. Several times a night she gets dressed and tries to go downstairs (I have a stairgate at the top in case of falls) she gets confused between here and the day centre she attends and thinks there will be people awake downstairs. We have tried sleeping tablets, lorezapam and she is also on an anti depressant which is supposed to calm her down, but she is still a total bag of nerves and wandering at night. YOU ARE NOT BEING HARD, BEING A CARER IS A THANKLESS TASK AND YOU ABSOLUTELY MUST PUT YOURSELF FIRST. THEY HAVE HAD THEIR LIFE AND YOU ARE ENTITLED TO YOURS. MY heart goes out to you and I hope this has helped a bit. x
PS I agree with everyone else, be selfish and do whatever it takes to get action as quick as you can, SW's are great at making you wait and will do so as long as you put up with it, Put your foot down, enough is enough. Good luck to you xxx
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