Hello. My father in law has dementia. His legs are starting to give way and loosing mobility especially the left leg. Due to this he needs help getting up and putting to bed. My wife and I do the getting up and son does the bed time. He is 84 and on a morning is very aggressive and verbal getting him out of bed . He can sleep 12 + hours and more if left. What do you do . Make him get up at a set time or leave him in bed .
Morning help
- Thread starter George 62
- Start date
Hi. I would maybe leave him in bed a little longer.If he is sleeping that amount he obviously needs it. He may be in a better mood if left a little longer.
Hello @George 62
I`d leave him in bed.
I know it won`t be helping his muscle tone and if he is struggling with mobility leaving him in bed might speed this up. However, from personal experience he is probably going from bed to chair now so there will be little difference.
Many might disagree with me but my policy was to allow my husband his choice and this helped reduce aggression and verbal protesting.
You may get many different points of view which I hope will help you decided what is best for your father in law.
I`d leave him in bed.
I know it won`t be helping his muscle tone and if he is struggling with mobility leaving him in bed might speed this up. However, from personal experience he is probably going from bed to chair now so there will be little difference.
Many might disagree with me but my policy was to allow my husband his choice and this helped reduce aggression and verbal protesting.
You may get many different points of view which I hope will help you decided what is best for your father in law.
Hello and welcome to Dementia Talking Point @George 62
I agree with @TNJJ and @Grannie G I found my dad was often more co-operative if I tried again later at whatever it was I needed him to do.
If your FIL is loosing mobility ask for a referral to an occupational therapist as they maybe able to provide equipment to help him .
I agree with @TNJJ and @Grannie G I found my dad was often more co-operative if I tried again later at whatever it was I needed him to do.
If your FIL is loosing mobility ask for a referral to an occupational therapist as they maybe able to provide equipment to help him .
Dad has a yellow bag for his pads. Supplied by the council and collected free.It is incinerated . So not much smell. You need to contact clinical waste at your council for this. This may help.
Perhaps an obvious question but is your father in law drinking enough to dilute the urine?
I also wondered whether the smell was coming from clothes/bedding.
If so, I have found zoflora disinfectant in the wash works well.
Other laundry disinfectant probably works well too, but I havent tried others.
If so, I have found zoflora disinfectant in the wash works well.
Other laundry disinfectant probably works well too, but I havent tried others.
Has he been checked for a UTI (urine infection)
@TNJJ suggested a Sara steady and that is such a good idea.
Have you been referred to the continence nurse, those great quality grey night pads are so much better.
When it comes to decision making I let mum have everything 100 per cent her own way. I divide her behaviours and decisions into dangerous and non dangerous
Unless dangerous I make no criticism at all.
That includes the crazy stuff! when You drill down a lot of the problems are about waste? Power? Food ? solutions being spending money that you shouldn’t need to ? Also Greta Thunburg must not find out about some of her activities!
Getting up time is 11am at present.
@TNJJ suggested a Sara steady and that is such a good idea.
Have you been referred to the continence nurse, those great quality grey night pads are so much better.
When it comes to decision making I let mum have everything 100 per cent her own way. I divide her behaviours and decisions into dangerous and non dangerous
Unless dangerous I make no criticism at all.
That includes the crazy stuff! when You drill down a lot of the problems are about waste? Power? Food ? solutions being spending money that you shouldn’t need to ? Also Greta Thunburg must not find out about some of her activities!
Getting up time is 11am at present.
I had problems getting my husband up in the mornings but then looked at it through his eyes. What is the point of get up? What am I going to do other than sitting in a chair, staring into space with my muddled thoughts, waiting for bed time.
Now I do not get him up until 10.00am but there is always a reason i.e I need help, the birds need feeding, some plants need a water etc... Sometimes I will just give him an egg in a bowl and a fork and ask him to whisk it for me - half an hour later he is still whisking but he feel he is useful, helping and wanted.
He knows that he is loved, I try to tell him at least 5 times a day with a hug, but we all need to know that we are wanted and useful and not just a burden.
A fellow carer who had the same problem bought a hamster - reason for getting out of the bed the hamster needs feeding, watching while it is in it's exercise ball etc..
If you can find a purpose, you are halfway there.
Now I do not get him up until 10.00am but there is always a reason i.e I need help, the birds need feeding, some plants need a water etc... Sometimes I will just give him an egg in a bowl and a fork and ask him to whisk it for me - half an hour later he is still whisking but he feel he is useful, helping and wanted.
He knows that he is loved, I try to tell him at least 5 times a day with a hug, but we all need to know that we are wanted and useful and not just a burden.
A fellow carer who had the same problem bought a hamster - reason for getting out of the bed the hamster needs feeding, watching while it is in it's exercise ball etc..
If you can find a purpose, you are halfway there.
