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Morning help

George 62

New member
May 27, 2020
3
Hello. My father in law has dementia. His legs are starting to give way and loosing mobility especially the left leg. Due to this he needs help getting up and putting to bed. My wife and I do the getting up and son does the bed time. He is 84 and on a morning is very aggressive and verbal getting him out of bed . He can sleep 12 + hours and more if left. What do you do . Make him get up at a set time or leave him in bed .
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,531
cornwall
Hello. My father in law has dementia. His legs are starting to give way and loosing mobility especially the left leg. Due to this he needs help getting up and putting to bed. My wife and I do the getting up and son does the bed time. He is 84 and on a morning is very aggressive and verbal getting him out of bed . He can sleep 12 + hours and more if left. What do you do . Make him get up at a set time or leave him in bed .
Hi. I would maybe leave him in bed a little longer.If he is sleeping that amount he obviously needs it. He may be in a better mood if left a little longer.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,347
Kent
Hello @George 62

I`d leave him in bed.

I know it won`t be helping his muscle tone and if he is struggling with mobility leaving him in bed might speed this up. However, from personal experience he is probably going from bed to chair now so there will be little difference.

Many might disagree with me but my policy was to allow my husband his choice and this helped reduce aggression and verbal protesting.

You may get many different points of view which I hope will help you decided what is best for your father in law.
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
4,519
Nottinghamshire
Hello and welcome to Dementia Talking Point @George 62

I agree with @TNJJ and @Grannie G I found my dad was often more co-operative if I tried again later at whatever it was I needed him to do.

If your FIL is loosing mobility ask for a referral to an occupational therapist as they maybe able to provide equipment to help him .
 

George 62

New member
May 27, 2020
3
Hello and welcome to Dementia Talking Point @George 62

I agree with @TNJJ and @Grannie G I found my dad was often more co-operative if I tried again later at whatever it was I needed him to do.

If your FIL is loosing mobility ask for a referral to an occupational therapist as they maybe able to provide equipment to help him .
We have walkers , a wheel chair attachments to the bed . But we still struggle.
 

George 62

New member
May 27, 2020
3
Hi. One other point . We use pull up adult nappy pants. Is there any thing that we can use to musk or neutralise the smell of intense urine.
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,531
cornwall
Hi. One other point . We use pull up adult nappy pants. Is there any thing that we can use to musk or neutralise the smell of intense urine.
Dad has a yellow bag for his pads. Supplied by the council and collected free.It is incinerated . So not much smell. You need to contact clinical waste at your council for this. This may help.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,347
Kent
Hi. One other point . We use pull up adult nappy pants. Is there any thing that we can use to musk or neutralise the smell of intense urine.
Perhaps an obvious question but is your father in law drinking enough to dilute the urine?
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
12,604
South coast
I also wondered whether the smell was coming from clothes/bedding.
If so, I have found zoflora disinfectant in the wash works well.
Other laundry disinfectant probably works well too, but I havent tried others.
 

Weasell

Registered User
Oct 21, 2019
343
Has he been checked for a UTI (urine infection)

@TNJJ suggested a Sara steady and that is such a good idea.

Have you been referred to the continence nurse, those great quality grey night pads are so much better.

When it comes to decision making I let mum have everything 100 per cent her own way. I divide her behaviours and decisions into dangerous and non dangerous
Unless dangerous I make no criticism at all.
That includes the crazy stuff! when You drill down a lot of the problems are about waste? Power? Food ? solutions being spending money that you shouldn’t need to ? Also Greta Thunburg must not find out about some of her activities!

Getting up time is 11am at present.