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More moving on.....

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,268
East Midlands
So we eventually managed to get away for a night - it shouldn’t be the case but we had our cancelled holiday in Rhodes in October & then we should have had a short break in December to Iceland but we had to cancel that due to the executor issues & more.
My boyfriend booked us a night in the Alton Towers Hotel which is very nice & our deal included breakfast, a 9 hole crazy golf adventure & we paid extra to use the spa which is nicer than a lot of dedicated spas & while we were there, he proposed to me & I said yes so he is now my fiancé!
Here is a photo of my ring - he was actually going to propose to me in Iceland which is another reason why we want to pursue a claim against the executor - more of him in my next post!
 

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Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,268
East Midlands
As I have mentioned previously, the executor is still being extremely foolish in his actions. Yesterday’s snippet was the fact that despite being notified verbally, the care home still want to charge for the week my mum was in hospital dying having been administered end of life care meds & me verbally telling them that she wasn’t coming back. Social Services advised that the care home could waive this fee if they choose to do so.
The executor asked me if I had recorded the phone conversation. I have no words for this.
So imagine the scenario, you have just had a talk with the drs who say there is nothing more they can do for your mum, she isn’t responding to any antibiotics so they are advising that she needs to go on end of life care meds. You’re not exactly going to be overjoyed & you ring up the care home & tell them in a numb state of mind & this idiot thinks I should have recorded the phone conversation.
Honestly there are no words.
He doesn’t want to get involved & said his job was about paying invoices & I said not quite. I said your job is about protecting the estate & the interests of the beneficiaries ie myself & that the care home were very clearly advised my mum was not coming back. Furthermore, I never signed a contract with the care home as they sent it ridiculously late & then I went away for a number of weeks for work & forgot all about it.
I feel a complaint coming on!
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,023
Yorkshire
Sorry to read executor and estate problems but Congratulations on your engagement, thats a lovely engagement ring x
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,268
East Midlands
Sorry to read executor and estate problems but Congratulations on your engagement, thats a lovely engagement ring x
Thank you re the engagement & ring - I love it as it is my birthstone & my fiancé’s too!
Unfortunately the executor problems & issues have been ongoing since the end of Sept! X
 

notsogooddtr

Registered User
Jul 2, 2011
916
Not unusual for care homes to charge in these circumstances tbh, it's a business at the end of the day. I think that the fact that your Mum lived there and care was provided and accepted implies a contract. Can't remember the finer points.
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,383
cornwall
So we eventually managed to get away for a night - it shouldn’t be the case but we had our cancelled holiday in Rhodes in October & then we should have had a short break in December to Iceland but we had to cancel that due to the executor issues & more.
My boyfriend booked us a night in the Alton Towers Hotel which is very nice & our deal included breakfast, a 9 hole crazy golf adventure & we paid extra to use the spa which is nicer than a lot of dedicated spas & while we were there, he proposed to me & I said yes so he is now my fiancé!
Here is a photo of my ring - he was actually going to propose to me in Iceland which is another reason why we want to pursue a claim against the executor - more of him in my next post!
That’s a lovely ring! Congratulations!
 

Louise7

Registered User
Mar 25, 2016
2,023
It's a difficult situation but the trouble is that without a contract being signed to specify the charges that apply when someone vacates their room at the care home (for whatever reason) then the social worker is right, it will be down to the discretion of the individual care home. When Mum was in hospital and was not going to return back to her care home (at their request) we had no contract in place at the time and were charged for a week's fees even though they had known around a week or so earlier that she would not be returning. We didn't think that a one week charge was unreasonable under the circumstances.

Rooms have to be emptied and deep cleaned before a new resident can move in so that may account for the one week charge, to cover when the room was empty but they were unable to move anyone else in so would not have received fees. It seems from your post that you have informed the executor that the fee shouldn't be paid because you told the home that your Mum wouldn't be returning but has the home actually stated that the reason for the charge is because you didn't inform them? If they have then unfortunately it will be your word against theirs but it could be that the week's fee is their standard charge in such circumstances so probably best for the executor to get the facts from the home before refusing to pay otherwise things could drag on for longer than necessary.
 

DianeW

Registered User
Sep 10, 2013
601
Lytham St Annes
Kikki....big congratulations on your engagement and I too love your ring.

I too think the weeks notice may be correct, when my Uncle died in his care home, I had a few days to clear his room, and it was charged for the remainder of the week, I understood this to be standard.

I agree with post above, find out what the charge is actually for....then decide if worth fighting for, as it will certainly delay matters further.

Nice to hear you got away for a break, is your fiancé better now?
 

love.dad.but..

Registered User
Jan 16, 2014
4,496
Kent
Congratulations. lovely ring

At my dad's NH when he was there full fees were charged while a resident was in hospital even if that sadly concluded with end of life. This seemed to be an industry standard when I was looking at homes.When dad passed away, I cleared his room within 3 days, his contract was such that full fees could be charged post death for up to 14 days...in his case that happened...the full 14 days although I did try to negotiate but the company refused to reduce. I have since had contact with CQC who were looking into post death charges and what is deemed fair but I think this concluded in hoping homes would voluntarily be reasonable rather than anything more robust.

I can't remember where I read it but think I may have seen something like ...if a service is being delivered for a period of time even if a contract has not been signed then agreement is implied.
 

Hotdoggy

Registered User
Feb 5, 2020
17
At the end of the day, Care/Nursing Homes are a business....when mum died there were charges from her care home - is standard practice and will, no doubt , be in the small print
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,268
East Midlands
My mum was already in the hospital for 2 weeks prior to her death at the end of the 3rd week. The care home were kept fully informed by myself at all times. Yes care homes are a business but they were informed on the same day that my mum went onto end of life meds that she wouldn’t be coming back.
A contract was never signed. The thing was she entered the care home at the end of March 2018 & I didn’t receive a contract till late November 2018! I then was away with work until just before Christmas & forgot all about it.
They weren’t great on the paperwork side of things at all unfortunately. My complaint has been passed on to a senior manager so we will see what happens.

Thank you for everyone who has commented on our engagement. It is great to have something positive happen in all the gloom about this & the executor situation. He is being awkward over everything so a delay about paying this invoice is neither here or there.
 

Havemercy

Registered User
Oct 8, 2012
129
As I have mentioned previously, the executor is still being extremely foolish in his actions. Yesterday’s snippet was the fact that despite being notified verbally, the care home still want to charge for the week my mum was in hospital dying having been administered end of life care meds & me verbally telling them that she wasn’t coming back. Social Services advised that the care home could waive this fee if they choose to do so.
The executor asked me if I had recorded the phone conversation. I have no words for this.
So imagine the scenario, you have just had a talk with the drs who say there is nothing more they can do for your mum, she isn’t responding to any antibiotics so they are advising that she needs to go on end of life care meds. You’re not exactly going to be overjoyed & you ring up the care home & tell them in a numb state of mind & this idiot thinks I should have recorded the phone conversation.
Honestly there are no words.
He doesn’t want to get involved & said his job was about paying invoices & I said not quite. I said your job is about protecting the estate & the interests of the beneficiaries ie myself & that the care home were very clearly advised my mum was not coming back. Furthermore, I never signed a contract with the care home as they sent it ridiculously late & then I went away for a number of weeks for work & forgot all about it.
I feel a complaint coming on!
Hi Kiki - I think this charging business is fairly standard and par for the course sadly. Five years ago my mother was rushed to hospital from her sheltered accommodation (owned by the Local Authority). She died from a cause unrelated to dementia a few days after admission but the Local Authority wanted one month's rent from her "estate" when I was sorting everything out. This was the notice period which she was unable to give! Best wishes and hope things get sorted soon.
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,268
East Midlands
Hi Kiki - I think this charging business is fairly standard and par for the course sadly. Five years ago my mother was rushed to hospital from her sheltered accommodation (owned by the Local Authority). She died from a cause unrelated to dementia a few days after admission but the Local Authority wanted one month's rent from her "estate" when I was sorting everything out. This was the notice period which she was unable to give! Best wishes and hope things get sorted soon.
Thank you - I just think the above & my situation is plain wrong. It’s not like the care home was full as it wasn’t. There are a number of care homes in the area now. 2 have opened since my mum died so people have more choice. These places are making a fortune but still often paying minimum wages to the staff!
 

LadyA

Registered User
Oct 19, 2009
13,563
Ireland
I'm rarely on the forum these days, @Kikki21 , but many congratulations on your engagement. Agree that your ring is beautiful. I'm sure the delays with the Executor are very frustrating, and hope things can be sorted out soon.

The issue with the nursing home is annoying, but I suppose they are within their rights to charge a week's notice, even if they did know the situation. I was very lucky with my husband's nursing home here. He died on the 3rd of the month, which happened to be a Bank Holiday. The following morning, I got the monthly bill from the nursing home (by email, as usual), for the whole month, in advance. Followed minutes later by another email with profuse apologies from the Manager. The Bills were generated and sent automatically. He said he would send a revised bill, which he did a couple of weeks later. They only charged me for the first 3 days of the month, until my husband died. What's more, they packed all his things, and held them ready in the office for me to collect a couple of weeks later.

I wish you much happiness and success in your future, both business and personal. You went through such a very hard time with your mum's illness, and deserve good things happening.
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,268
East Midlands
I'm rarely on the forum these days, @Kikki21 , but many congratulations on your engagement. Agree that your ring is beautiful. I'm sure the delays with the Executor are very frustrating, and hope things can be sorted out soon.

The issue with the nursing home is annoying, but I suppose they are within their rights to charge a week's notice, even if they did know the situation. I was very lucky with my husband's nursing home here. He died on the 3rd of the month, which happened to be a Bank Holiday. The following morning, I got the monthly bill from the nursing home (by email, as usual), for the whole month, in advance. Followed minutes later by another email with profuse apologies from the Manager. The Bills were generated and sent automatically. He said he would send a revised bill, which he did a couple of weeks later. They only charged me for the first 3 days of the month, until my husband died. What's more, they packed all his things, and held them ready in the office for me to collect a couple of weeks later.

I wish you much happiness and success in your future, both business and personal. You went through such a very hard time with your mum's illness, and deserve good things happening.
Thank you that is very kind of you to say & at least the care home, your husband was in did show some respect & leniency towards you. This care home seemed to be good on the surface but I haven’t been able to go back there due to the reason above because I would have to say something! So they still have my mum’s things! Xx
 

Susan11

Registered User
Nov 18, 2018
2,100
Kikki2 1, I would remove your Mums things asap. If they are still in the room she had you are giving them an excuse to continue to charge you.
Best wishes
Susan
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,091
Kent
Congratulations on your engagement @Kikki21 Your ring is lovely.

I would also be worried your mum`s things are still in her room at the home. It means it cannot be taken by anyone else and so you may continue to be charged.
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,268
East Midlands
Sorry I should have explained better that they did actually take the items out of the room at the care home so they are definitely not charging me. My mum didn’t have anything of value at the care home in any case. Her clothes have all gone to charity & I am sure the care home would have put the clothes to charity or re used them. We all know that people often don’t end up with their clothes but someone else’s too even though we labelled most of the clothes.