More Incompetence From The NHS

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Suzanna1969, May 6, 2015.

  1. Suzanna1969

    Suzanna1969 Registered User

    Mar 28, 2015
    I have lost count of the number of times I have told various NHS workers to ring me and NOT my parents as Mum has dementia and gets incredibly anxious about pretty much anything and Dad is deaf and has Parkinson's. However i did think that, when I took my Mum to the Memory clinic last week and the Practitioner who did her assessment was the nice lady who had run the Cognitive Thinking Course last year and knew Mum well that we might get a proper service this time. She said she would ring ME and even recited my mobile number to me from her info sheet.

    So WHY did she ring Dad at the end of last week and send the letter about the meeting they were holding about my Mum TO my Mum? And WHY today did some Psychologist woman phone up and tell my Mum she was coming next Friday to assess her, throwing Mum into a very distressed state which my Dad couldn't handle?

    Plus I am away next Friday for a few days to celebrate my birthday (it may be my last chance for a while) and my brother is taking over - he is great but he doesn't know much about these NHS people and wouldn't know what to ask.

    Somebody is going to be on the end of a right paddy tomorrow. :mad:
  2. jugglingmum

    jugglingmum Registered User

    Jan 5, 2014
    I feel your pain. GP has my details, so referral to memory clinic (moved areas) letter goes to mum. Luckily I found it. GP then sends letter to mum re needing an annual meds review. Mum does sort of vaguely leave the letters where I might find them, but by the time I come round has forgotten them (she gets very little post as most comes to me).

    The saving grace is she has no phone(very deaf)so my mobile number is the only one listed so I do get the phone calls at least. Memory clinic said first letter to patient but all future ones should be to me - we'll see. GP receptionist previously assured me (in Jan 15) I would get all correspondence.
  3. Suzanna1969

    Suzanna1969 Registered User

    Mar 28, 2015
    They're appalling aren't they? And people wonder why I have high blood pressure! :eek:
  4. jan.s

    jan.s Registered User

    Sep 20, 2011
    #4 jan.s, May 6, 2015
    Last edited: May 6, 2015
    Deleted as my comments were clearly seen as unhelpful
  5. Suzanna1969

    Suzanna1969 Registered User

    Mar 28, 2015
    I could understand the confidentiality issue IF it weren't for the fact that this woman confirmed with me that I'd rather she rang me and even recited my phone number back to me! I have LPA for both parents, everyone is aware of this, I tell everyone that Dad is deaf and has memory issues caused by his Parkinson's (he doesn't know this though). There are valid reasons for them to call me not my parents and nobody has ever questioned it or said they were bound by confidentiality to contact my parents first. I have received copies of letters sent to my parents in the past and I was supposed to get this one too, but didn't.

    It's just pure incompetence. The letter even got my Mum's name wrong in half the instances, calling her Enid at first then Edith. The woman even joked to me that she hates the admin side of the job. No s**t!!!!!
  6. Linbrusco

    Linbrusco Registered User

    Mar 4, 2013
    Auckland...... New Zealand
    Not much different here in New Zealand.
    I think its taken me best part of 3 yrs to get all phone numbers, calls, and mail to come care of and again it fails.
    Even Mums GP will occasionally send her a letter directly which throws her into a tail spin.
    In fact any mail throws Mum. She has one last remaining bill that they won't accept my email address to send the bill to, unless they speak to Mum first and get the email address from her, this is despite me having authority on her power account.
  7. optocarol

    optocarol Registered User

    Nov 23, 2011
    Auckland, New Zealand
    Linbrusco, I suggest if you have authority on her account, that you change power companies. I did this recently when I had an email offer for $100 credit with anther company and now I'm the only name on the account. (I am in Auckland.)
  8. DivingDavey

    DivingDavey Registered User

    Feb 18, 2015
    It's infuriating - The memory clinic repeatedly sent prescriptions to my mother's house (before she moved into a home) even though we explained a number of times she would simply lose the prescription. The worrying thing is that these are people used to dealing with dementia patients so the clearly know the challenges we face.

    I also phoned my mothers doctors surgery for some very general information. They refused to give it me without a letter from signed by my mother giving them authority to speak to me. I understand the confidentiality issue but it seemed pretty pointless, I actually offered to get her to sign a cheque for a million pounds for them too as it would mean just as much.

    Sorry, rant over.
  9. SueShell

    SueShell Registered User

    Sep 13, 2012
    I booked in for my Mum to have her cataracts done without telling her. She had the right eye done and the surgeon and staff all knew she had Alzheimer's. When we went back for her check up 3 weeks later the surgeon asked her not me if she wanted the left eye done and she said no. From that day she now keeps banging on about how she can see fine out the right eye and not out the left eye. I don't know why these people don't realise that someone with dementia cannot always make the correct decisions for themselves! Same with phone calls and the post. My Mum used to bang the phone down on anyone who rang her, then when I'd ring to enquire why I hadn't heard from them they'd tell me they did but got no reply cause they'd rung my Mum and not me. These people are so brainless they don't realise that memory loss means the chances of you receiving a message passed on from someone with dementia is zero!!
  10. Witzend

    Witzend Registered User

    Aug 29, 2007
    SW London
    We read of this sort of thing so often. It strikes me that the Alzheimer's Society would do very well to campaign on matters like this - so-called professionals who do not listen or take note, who are supposed to be helping and yet so often cause extra stress and worry for carers, never mind stress and distress for sufferers who get all agitated when it could be avoided.
  11. Bree

    Bree Registered User

    Oct 16, 2013
    The title sums it up....incompetence in capitals ! How some of these people retain their jobs beats me. My dad who had dementia with Parkinson's was obviously dying in hospital, my aged mother who suffered from depression couldn't accept that it was the end.

    After sitting at his bedside all day, I expressly requested that as his only child, and in view of my mother's health, I should be informed first should he pass away when we weren't with him, when we went home for a break. Did they ? no they rang my mother, who was at home alone at the time.

    No-one LISTENS anymore, they just pay lip service and carry on as they please, a dreadful state of affairs. Why are these people not disciplined for their incompetence ?
  12. Suzanna1969

    Suzanna1969 Registered User

    Mar 28, 2015
    Glad it's not just me experiencing this! I keep getting all these NHS departments phoning me up or coming round and asking what they can do to help, then they cause more problems than they claim they can resolve and muggins here has to clear up the mess!

    I wouldn't mind so much but it was actually the flippin' MEMORY CLINIC who is the latest culprit!

    I am pleased to say I spoke to both the Dementia Practitioner who rang my parents despite having my number as the main contact AND the psychologist who phoned my parents, spoke to my Mum and sent her into a frenzy because she is now convinced this woman is coming to take her away to a home. I explained the situation and why I needed them to do what I actually frickin' flippin' well ask them to instead of stressing out my parents and causing my blood pressure to rise even more. The psychologist asked me what support I was getting. I told her I have a great brother and wonderful friends and if only the NHS did what they said they would things would be bearable...

    And YES I tore them (both) a new one. And without swearing too! Yay me!
  13. Linbrusco

    Linbrusco Registered User

    Mar 4, 2013
    Auckland...... New Zealand
    Oh how awful Bree :(

    Actually the worst example of hospital incompetence here was when Mum was admitted for bowel surgery early 2013 but before her AD diagnosis, but hospital staff and specialist, surgeon had been advised of Mums dementia and a letter provided by Mums GP. They also had me down as next if kin, emergency contact and copy of POA if need be.
    Mum had a cancerous polyp and we were told pathology results would probably take a week.
    3 days after Mums surgery Mum calls me later at night ( nurse had placed the call but left Mum to tell us the news)
    Her surgeon and doctor had been to tell her the good news. Her chest scan was all clear and she didn't need any more treatment :confused::confused:

    A frantic half hour followed trying to get hold of either Mums Nurse or the Surgeon to find out what was going on.
    The news they told Mum was that her pathology results showed early stage cancer with no spread to her lymph nodes so no further treatment was necessary. Her chest CT scan showed an enlarged spleen ( she has a form of Leukemia) but no cause for concern.

    I hate to think if her pathology results were bad and she had been told that she needed radiation or chemo treatment.

    Back then I was too polite. If the same situation happened now, I would tell them off in no uncertain terms :mad:
  14. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    The GP surgery used to ring OH with test results etc until I told them how stupid that was and took his mobile number off the system and had it replaced with mine. They know that he has dementia and I am his carer. Nevertheless, today I got a call from them on my number asking for him, and who was I? Had to explain it all over again! Then they graciously spoke to me to arrange an appointment for a test result. Bonkers.
  15. Suzanna1969

    Suzanna1969 Registered User

    Mar 28, 2015
    True story: About 8 years ago a friend of a friend travelled 200 miles to visit his 94 year old father who had been in hospital for a few days. The nursing staff said that his father was refusing to eat, just leaving his food which was removed uneaten after a few hours.

    This person watched as lunch was brought round and put in front of his father, who ignored it and lay there listlessly. After a few minutes he could bear it no longer and asked the nursing staff why they didn't intervene and was told they were too busy and couldn't force his father to eat if he didn't want to.

    The old man was blind and had no idea the food was even there. :mad:
  16. Gill1961

    Gill1961 Registered User

    May 22, 2013
    A couple of years ago, my late Mum was in a home by then and one Monday morning my sister was trying to get hold of my Dad (no dementia) who the precious evening had told us he felt unwell. She could get no reply on his home or mobile numbers. The local GP surgery would not tell her, quoting Data Protection, if he was waiting in the surgery for an emergency appointment. By contrast, the local A and E where Dad had taken himself were happy to confirm he was registered and in the A and E department. We were not try to get hold of any health information just trying to locate our 87 year old father. He died later that day following emergency surgery.
  17. Spamar

    Spamar Registered User

    Oct 5, 2013
    Nothing to do with dementia but...
    Friend taken to hospital with possible leaking stents ( who knew this happened ?). Was in EAU overnight for tests to be done in morning. Breakfast arrived. She queried whether she should have anything as some tests were to be carried out. Eat, says the nurse, without checking. When doc came around to sort tests, said she should have been nil by mouth, so no tests. She stayed there three day with nothing done, has now been sent home to wait for outpatient appt with possible diagnosis of ulcers!
    What a waste!

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