Hi all We are in a real dilemma. My MIL has lived with us for 10 years and now is in the later stages of dementure. We will soon have to find a home for her as life is difficult. Up until now we have not received any money towards her keep. My husband and his brothers now have POA for about a year. The problem is we are now caring full time and she has all her meals housekeeping provided. She tells people that she shops for herself and makes her own food but she doesn't goes out so we are having to do everything. Or on the odd occasion she says she shops she comes back empty handed. My husband asked her a while ago if she woundn't mind contributing £30 towards her keep-bearing in mind we do not receive any help. She said this was ok but then complained to her other daughter in law that we had asked her! So we carried on providing...my husband has access to her account and we both feel that it is only fair that she contributes. We don't want any money for ourselves only for her board and food. The moral question is should we just go ahead and do this? The rest of the family don't bother with us but we both feel it is only right that we tell the family we are doing this. I feel really bad because even if we ask her again she will just say that she does everything-it's a very unfair situation but we do not want anyone to feel we are doing something underhand. Also if she were to look at her bank would we then be accused of taking money?? I'm so worried how do other people cope - if we ask her and she says yes she will only forget. Thanks for any advice!!