My mum is really struggling with money. She doesn't understand numbers (i.e. can't pick out the banknotes/coins required to pay for things in shops; she can't point to a date on a calendar), she doesn't remember PINs and can't grasp the concept of contactless payments. Mum is obsessed with going into Nationwide Building Society every day (the record if five times in a single day) and is withdrawing £400 a week over the counter. We have no idea where this money is going (she has meals on wheels 7 days a week and my sister/I pay for everything else).
Should we take away her bankcards and bank access and give her a cash allowance each week? Or will this just increase the obsession.
Today mum missed her dial-a-ride collection for her trip to the dementia day care center as she was at the building society before 8am. I tried my best. I called her at 8.40-9.30am to remind her she would be collected, but could not get hold of her. I live a 2-hour round trip away.
When she returned from Nationwide at 10.30am, I booked a taxi to take her to the day care center. But the taxi dropped her at a random care home in the area - despite my warnings to them that she has the mental age of a 5-year old and then need to walk her to the door of the address I gave. Mum stood on the doorstep of the care home for 2 hours.
In the meantime, I had to call the police and my sister and brother-in-law (who live nearby) looked for her. Mum then tried to give the police money when they found her and dropped her home. I wonder if mum is giving money to other random people she meets, who will not refuse (unlike the police). She was previously a victim of fraud - Nationwide had to call the police in March as she was trying to transfer £10k to a Monzo account and she couldn't explain who the person was and why she wanted to pay them the money.
It's really depressing as we go to so much effort to organise things for mum to do and for home help visits, but we can't keep her at home.
Mum has to walk 40 mins (one way) along a canal to get to the building society. The path will get icy soon - it will not be gritted. I'm really worried about her safety in the dark (muggings) and her slipping into the water. How can we stop her from going to the building society? We have financial power of attorney.
Do other people give their dementia relatives an allowance? We are visiting residential care homes for mum (with denial of liberty capabilities), but I'm not sure she will cope with this as she likes to walk for 2-3 hours a day (feeding the ducks is another obsession).
Should we take away her bankcards and bank access and give her a cash allowance each week? Or will this just increase the obsession.
Today mum missed her dial-a-ride collection for her trip to the dementia day care center as she was at the building society before 8am. I tried my best. I called her at 8.40-9.30am to remind her she would be collected, but could not get hold of her. I live a 2-hour round trip away.
When she returned from Nationwide at 10.30am, I booked a taxi to take her to the day care center. But the taxi dropped her at a random care home in the area - despite my warnings to them that she has the mental age of a 5-year old and then need to walk her to the door of the address I gave. Mum stood on the doorstep of the care home for 2 hours.
In the meantime, I had to call the police and my sister and brother-in-law (who live nearby) looked for her. Mum then tried to give the police money when they found her and dropped her home. I wonder if mum is giving money to other random people she meets, who will not refuse (unlike the police). She was previously a victim of fraud - Nationwide had to call the police in March as she was trying to transfer £10k to a Monzo account and she couldn't explain who the person was and why she wanted to pay them the money.
It's really depressing as we go to so much effort to organise things for mum to do and for home help visits, but we can't keep her at home.
Mum has to walk 40 mins (one way) along a canal to get to the building society. The path will get icy soon - it will not be gritted. I'm really worried about her safety in the dark (muggings) and her slipping into the water. How can we stop her from going to the building society? We have financial power of attorney.
Do other people give their dementia relatives an allowance? We are visiting residential care homes for mum (with denial of liberty capabilities), but I'm not sure she will cope with this as she likes to walk for 2-3 hours a day (feeding the ducks is another obsession).