1. dottitudor

    dottitudor Registered User

    Feb 24, 2015
    My mother has dementia but is still determined to sort out her own money - which is getting increasingly tricky for us both! She doesn't understand ATMs and thinks she has to go to the bank on the other side of town to get her money out. We have used the Morrisons supermarket ATM (which is much closer than the bank itself) but she thinks the money is coming from Morrisons and not her bank. She wants to move her account to a bank nearer to Morrisons which would be very complicated as all her bills, pensions, etc come out of the current account she has. How do I explain it all to her in simple terms? Luckily, she doesn't go into town on her own now and only gets money out with me.

    Thankfully I have PofA for when things get really bad!
  2. Bod

    Bod Registered User

    Aug 30, 2013
    Get the PoA registered with her bank.
    The bank will then issue you a set of cards.
    You are then the kind daughter who goes out of her way to collect her mothers money from the bank.
    In reality you go to the nearest ATM, and keep an eye her bills etc.

  3. Linbrusco

    Linbrusco Registered User

    Mar 4, 2013
    Auckland...... New Zealand
    Thats a tricky one. Any chance of getting a letter from her Bank Manager to state that he has approved for her to use the ATM at Morrisons? If so do you think she would take notice? Or a letter from Morrisons :)

    In New Zealand when you switch banks they sort out everything for you, payments, bills etc apart from you having to go in and get new cards and advise for your pension to be paid to a new account number.
    For somone with dementia I think it would prove quite difficult in any case swapping to a new bank?
  4. Rob_E

    Rob_E Registered User

    Feb 1, 2015
    I've been having a similar problem with my mum, the local branch of her bank is closing but she thinks it's the whole bank and insists she will have to move her account to an alternative bank, otherwise her direct debits won't be paid and she won't be able to get her money from the ATM. They have sent several letters to her explaining that the local branch is closing and every time we have sorted it out with her, it brings up the situation again and we are back where we started.
  5. Raggedrobin

    Raggedrobin Registered User

    Jan 20, 2014
    My mother kept insisting on writing cheques which were actually paying in slips, sne had the two confused. First we had big rows, as I didn't understand that she simply didn't have that bit of logic left in her brain. Fortunately she relinquished her financea to me fairly easily, especially getting money out for her from an ATM.
    Sorry that doesn't help you but I hope you can oersuade her to let you get money out for her.
  6. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    Since the new rules came in in 2013 it's much easier than you'd think, have a look at the link below this bit in particular:
    "the Payment Council's Current Account Switch Guarantee which underpins the service, also states that if any errors are made and you are hit with a penalty fee or are charged (or lose) interest, you’ll be refunded for the full amount by your new bank.
    It's also part of the Guarantee that, for 13 months from the agreed date of the switch, any payments accidentally made to your old account will be automatically redirected to your new one. Your new bank will also have to contact the sender to give them your new account details - and tell you it's done so."

    I think the local Morrisons (well local to me) has an RBS and a Natwest cashpoint outside, is there anywhere near you that has a cashpoint that's the same brand as her bank then you can point to the logo on the machine and tell her it is her bank.
    Tesco usually have RBS machines (I think) you could try that.

  7. AndreaP

    AndreaP Registered User

    Modern banking seems to be incredibly confusing for older people, even without dementia. My mother's bank allowed customers who wanted to keep their old passbook accounts to continue but removed their electronic printers so when we went to the bank they would have to hand write all the entries. Time consuming and embarrassing from my perspective. You could see the tellers mentally sighing, especially when she hadn't been in for a fair while.

    Now she's in a CH I do it all by the Internet and PoA meant I got a card of my own. When I tell her this she has no understanding of how bills can be paid from my computer.

    I thought she would be anxious that I control her money now but not so. She seems to believe I'm not siphoning it all into my own account. She may be saying to my brother "keep an eye on her" but if so he hasn't said anything.

    Perhaps if you say that her bank goes to Morrisons every day and puts their money in that machine so she can take it out, she might accept that as an explanation. You're lucky she will use an ATM. Mine has no idea what they're for.:eek:
  8. brambles

    brambles Registered User

    Sep 22, 2014
    NW England
    If you don't want to register the POA with the bank just yet you can be added to your mums account as a third party mandate. Quite easy, just phone the bank and they will post you the forms (needs your mums agreement). I have done this and I have a debit card and cheque book for mums account.

    You can then, as Bod suggested, get money out at any ATM hand over the money to your mum and tell her you got it from the bank.
  9. dottitudor

    dottitudor Registered User

    Feb 24, 2015
    ATMs and such like!!

    Many thanks to everyone who replied to me.

    Mum's bank account is a joint one with me so there is no problem with me getting money out for her and I have my own card. The problem comes when she has to use the ATM and she doesn't understand that the money coming out of it comes from her bank and not from Morrisons. I will just have to make sure that she only gets money out when I am with her, as I don't think she will ever understand modern technology!!

    <sigh> Just one more thing to add to the list of things to watch out for. Bit hard as I am the only child so it all falls to me. But then again, I am not the only one in this situation. The forum is very useful for all the other problems too!!!

    Thanks guys and gals!!
  10. Bod

    Bod Registered User

    Aug 30, 2013
    There are those on here who would consider you lucky, to be the only child.
    No siblings to argue with, who don't accept mum's got problems.

  11. 2jays

    2jays Registered User

    Jun 4, 2010
    West Midlands
    You are not an only child now.... You've got us :D xx

    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point

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