Moms reaction to new EMI unit

[poppy01]

Hello...

My mom is due to go to her new emi unit this thursday..so today we thought we would take her for a visit,show her around etc.
I dont know if it was such a good idea to be honest..as soon as we got her into the place her face went..she looked totally confused and kept frowning as if she was trying to work out where she was..she kept looking at my sister and I..I hope for reassurance.

Some of the other residents asked mom if she would like to join them in having a cuppa...Mom said in a very stern voice..what I havent heard now for a few years..'NO...I WANT TO GO NOW'..so we thanked the people but said mom wasnt too sure yet of the new place..and once she got used to it she would join them..

Also this emi unit has access to stairs going up and down to different levels...I didnt know this when I first went to look around the place..(the emi unit on the 1st floor hadnt opened when I first viewed the place...but the staff assured me that measures would be put into place to safeguard the residents).so mom along with the other emi residents are free to come and go upstairs downstairs whenever they wish..thing is my moms mobility isnt very clever at all..and she cannot manage stairs at all...so now I dont know if I should still let mom go here?
Today they have told us that there is always a member of staff around incase mom wants to up or down the stairs..what if one time there is no staff there when my mom decides to go up or down the stairs? Shes going to fall...I dont feel happy at all now I must say..and I feel today that I made the wrong choice of emi unit...the temp emi unit where mom is now..is all on one level and there are coded doors..and many of them...she would have to try to 'break out' of 3 sets of doors before hitting the outside door...the new emi unit she is straight down the stairs and the front doors are there...

Am I over reacting do you think? I thought I was coming to terms with the situation we have found ourselves in this last month..but today I am right back to when we first started this horrendous journey a month ago... Its also unsettled my sister and my dad too...I really do not know now what to do...she cannot stay at this temp emi unit as it is only like a 'holding place' for people while they find permanent care...

 

[Vonny]

Hi Poppy,

I find it strange that an EMI unit can have direct access to stairs and I don't think you are over-reacting at all. The thought of my mum (when she was still vaguely mobile) trying to get up and down on her own...

I wouldn't worry too much about your mum's reaction as it can take several weeks to settle, but this safety aspect is quite alarming and I think you are right in questioning whether or not this is the right place for your mum.

Are there any other EMI units in your area? xx

 

[angiegladwyn]

Hi

Hi, this is the first time I have used the talking point. We are not quite at the point of needing EMI unit, but am not looking forward to that day. Mum is quite advanced in her dementia but even so she still tries to climb the stairs, even with a zimmer frame. I could not consider a unit with open stairs even with the assurance of a member of staff being there. What happens when that member of staff is helping another resident, or needs the toilet herself!!Be careful. ang

 

[Margaret W]

I don't know Angie, but once mum is there it might all be different. We chose mum's home BECAUSE there were stairs, we thought it would keep her fit and mobile and at that time she had no problems with mobility. Well, never did have really. But she never ever used the stairs. Only the lift, supervised by the staff. So you might find mum is the same.

Similary the front door was not locked. A major reason for mum needing a care home was her night wandering, so I worried to death about that front door. Mum never went near it. I don't think she even knew it was the front door.

My mum was a very complacent lady, others are not. So you might just have to suck it and see. Not very reassuring I know, but presumably the care home staff can advise you.

Love

Margaret

 

[Skye]

Hi Poppy

I think you are right to be worried about safety. Stairs could be a big problem. Even if your mum had full mobility, balance can go very quickly, as happened with John, and a serious fall is a distinct possibility. Apart from 1 to 1 care, which rrealistically just isn't possible, there's no way to stop someone using the stairs if they are determined, and we all know how determined someone with dementia can be!

I'm also surprised that the front door is accessible. John's unit is one one level, with keypad entry, and an enclosed garden. Completely safe, apart from those residents who manage to discover the key code!

It might be worth having a llok round to see what else is available. Sorry, more hassle for you.

Love,

 

[poppy01]

Hi...

Thanks to everyone firstly for giving me their opinions and advice..I thank you all sooo much..

Yes its a great concern the stairs isnt it..The staff assured us that it would be made 'safe' for the dementia residents..and I dont think having access to stairs is 'safe'..there is also an emi unit on the ground floor level at this home which is all on one level is secured by keypad doors etc...but they have told us this unit is full so mom cannot swap over and go into this unit..

My sister and I have spoken again this morning and she is very upset at the thought of mom falling down these stairs..we are due to take mom again today for a visit..she is going to have her lunch there today..with myself and my sister alongside her..we are going to express our concerns again..only this time we are going to ask to speak with the home manager if possible.

Goodness I thought we might have been making the right choice of home here for mom...but I'm very very unsure now...thing is mom cannot stay in the temporary emi unit where she is now..we did look around a few others before we made the choice of this emi unit where mom is due to go on thursday..and to be honest..they werent up to standards...so I wouldnt be able to place her into one of these...I think we have been left now with very limited choices at the moment...

But we will get through today first and then decide from that..

Once again..thank you everyone for your advice and support...

Much love and strength to you all who are caring for someone with this awful disease..

Caroline xx

 

[gabriel]

Hi Poppy, I saw one dimentia home where they put a locked gate at the bottom of each stairs. This also was a newish home. Do you think they might be going to do this?

 

[poppy01]

Hi..

Taken mom today to the new unit for her lunch...she was absolutely fine..thank the lord...I think she knew it wasnt familiar because she kept frowning at the surroundings and also at the other residents there who were trying to talk to her...

We expressed our concern regarding the stairs and were told that we werent the only relatives to bring this up..they said that they had actually got Head Office in today and they realised a mistake had been made when building this home and that they were there to look at ways of rectifying this..the staff too were also concerned about the stairs being accessable to the residents..

They assured us that they ensure every step is taken to watch the residents all the time..she said basically when a resident is heading towards the stairs..a member of staff will follow them and observe. I hope this is correct and true what she said..

I feel a lot happier today with mom being more settled there too..so tomorrow we are going to start taking her belongings ready for when she gets there on Thursday..we will put photos up and little nik-naks and a lovely bunch of roses..cos my mom adores roses...make it more homely for her and hopefully a couple of familiar faces with the photos...

Dont get me wrong I am still extremely worried about these stairs..but at no time today did we see any residents go anywhere near them..the staff say it is very rare the residents wander down near to where the stairs are..

We shall see how things go later on in the week..I do hope my mom will settle...we had no problem at all in this temp emi unit where she is at the moment..so I hope we will be lucky again with the new unit..fingers crossed eh?

Once again..thanks to you all for offering me your advice and support...

Much love to everyone..

Caroline..xx

 

[jenniferpa]

Caroline, I'm glad you feel somewhat reassured about the situation. Mind you, does it not beggar belief that anyone could have thought stairs weren't a potential danger? Incidentally, is there any change in floor surfaces before these stairs? I ask, because simply going from one surface to another can be interpreted by someone with dementia as a "hole" that they will not cross. I wouldn't rely on that from a safety POV but it can be an added safeguard.

 

[Skye]

Yes its a great concern the stairs isnt it..The staff assured us that it would be made 'safe' for the dementia residents..and I dont think having access to stairs is 'safe'..there is also an emi unit on the ground floor level at this home which is all on one level is secured by keypad doors etc...but they have told us this unit is full so mom cannot swap over and go into this unit..

Hi Caroline

I'm glad you're at least partially reassured about the stairs.

It sounds to me as if your mum is going into a section which isn't purely EMI, but is a residential section.

John's home is built in this way. Ground floor is residential, upstairs is nursing, and the EMI section is a separate wing with keypad doors. There are people with mild dementia in the residential section, and when they need more care, or start wandering, they are transferred to the EMI section. John went straight into EMI, but since he has been there, there have been several transfers.

If this is the set-up, they could possibly transfer your mum if she seems in danger, or an EMI room becomes available. You could ask the manager about this.

Glad your visit went well, and hope your mum settles well.

Love,

 

[poppy01]

Caroline, I'm glad you feel somewhat reassured about the situation. Mind you, does it not beggar belief that anyone could have thought stairs weren't a potential danger? Incidentally, is there any change in floor surfaces before these stairs? I ask, because simply going from one surface to another can be interpreted by someone with dementia as a "hole" that they will not cross. I wouldn't rely on that from a safety POV but it can be an added safeguard.

Hi Jenniferpa,

Yes its unbelievable isnt it that a home potentially taking on dementia sufferers and they dont make one side of the floor safe..I can see whats happened here I think...when the home was initially built there was an emi unit,all safe and secure, on the ground floor...the rest was to be residential..then they had that much interest from people wanting emi care..that they changed their minds and decided to make the 1st floor emi too...that is why only one side is safe and the other side..where mom is going to be..as being open plan..but then again..I would have expected them to take the necessary measures to ensure safety etc BEFORE they take in the emi residents,but they didnt and I assume that is why it is the way it is..which really is appauling isnt it..there again its partly my fault too..cos I looked around this place well before xmas last year..and they then said that they were unsure at that time what the 1st floor was going to be opened up as..residential or emi..I never thought then to ask if it was to be emi care, if it would be secure etc...it is only since mom has been in the temp emi unit that we have become aware of this issue..at home, youre in a completely different set up arent you? You can watch them at home..make sure they dont fall up or downstairs etc..

Also you mention about the different floor coverings..oh yes..mom has had difficulty today negotiating the floor where carpet meets wooden flooring..which again..needs re assessing doesnt it? Also noticed mom having difficulty walking outside today as well...this is probably because she hasnt been outside..until yesterday, for a month now,we noticed her trying to climb up the footpath even though we were on level ground. We did wonder actually if she could see properly..because she seems to be feeling her way round, or are we just seeing typical behaviour of someone with severe dementia?

Do you know, since mom has been in the temp emi unit and we have been able to stand back and take a good long look at mom..we have just suddenly realised just how bad mom is...that sounds awful doesnt it? But we didnt seem to notice when she was at home.We knew she was bad, but not as bad as she actually is. We have spoken to dad about this and he has told us that things were going off what he never told me or my sister about. We were totally in the dark about a hell of a lot of stuff with mom. So maybe he has been covering up for her so as not to upset me or my sister..I dont know really. But I wish he had told us before hand.We then could have tried to get her in somewhere a lot sooner. Instead of waiting for an accident to happen like what did. But main thing is..she is safe and happy now..and thats all that matters at the minute.

we have also managed to get dad into a sheltered housing flat..those of you who read my previous posts might know about the problems we have been having with dad..first wanting to be with mom in the home..then saying he couldnt live with a lot of people with dementia..and so on and so on...well he finally agreed to move into a sheltered flat..so next week we have to start packing the family house away and moving him to the new flat..I must say he is looking forward to it at the moment..I hope it continues in this way..My dad is very prone to changing his mind.... but once he signs for the new flat..it will be too late to change his mind then..he has been to look around it and he absolutely loved it..so I think he too is probably coming to terms with the fact that things have to change..mom is in a home..and he will be living alone..main things is..he will be safe and the flat will be great for his mobility problems and his sight of course..also we have managed to get care for him once a day..which will help him..

So at the moment I am feeling quite 'ok' today that it went well with mom and we are sorting dads housing out too..so lets hope it stays that way for a while...

Thanks again for your advice and support..

Much love

Caroline xx

 

[Mo_N]

Hi Caroline,
I'm glad the visit went well today, Did your Mum enjoyed her lunch? It does at least sound like the EMI are taking your concerns seriously and are looking to do something about the access to the stairs. I think you may have to "remind" them if they appear to drag their feet though.
I hope your mum settles in quickly and that you & your family are able to rest easy that she is well cared for.
I'll be thinking of you on Thursday.
Love
Mo

 

[NewKid]

HI there Poppy - sounds like you have a lot on with rehousing both your parents immenently. I wish you luck.

I think your scenario of the home's situation is probably correct in that the need for 'EMI' care was greater than they anticipated and the second designated area is not as well planned for their needs. (My Mum's 'new' place was not suitable or secure when I first looked in May and then was adapted.) But if they recognise the problem and the need hopefully they will move quickly to improve safety.. a key-padded door can't take that long to install after all? If otherwise it sounds like the right place then I'd say it's worth working with them on it.. cos it's so hard to tick all the boxes?

 

[poppy01]

Hi..

Well moms move to the new emi home went well...She is absolutely fine..which I feel a whole lot better about now...we went up yesterday and took some 'familiar' things..photos..little nik naks etc etc...and we have all been there today with her until she was tired out bless her and we put her into bed and then left..she was fine with us leaving too..(I was expecting floods of tears from everyone..wasnt as bad as I thought..thank goodness)
The staff seem very nice and caring..so will see how things go over the next few days

Also asked about the stairs as head office were in the other day when we were in assessing for safety etc etc...been told today that head office will not be giving permission to put keypad locks on doors or provide gates across the stairs..which I think is very bad to be honest...evidentally the right side of this building was made for emi care..so has all the necessary safety measures in place..the left hand side was originally made for residential...hence no safety measures..but the home had that many enquiries for emi that they decided to make the 1st floor left side for emi and not residential as planned..this is why there is open access to stairs...they then told us we should have been told about this when we looked around the place and reserved the room for mom...we werent told this..if we had been..I would have had to re think our choice of emi home...they have reassured us that if mom starts to wander then a review will be held and if a place is available in the secure emi unit..then she will be transferred with our permission..and of course we would agree to this...

So all in all ..the day has turned out a lot better than I anticipated..thank goodness...so I hope I can get a few hours sleep tonight without worrying about mom...and see what tomorrow brings..

Caroline

 

[jenniferpa]

I can sort of understand the gate issue: for some people seeing a gate is an invitation to climb over it, with all the dangers that can bring. Not to agree to a key pad door access though, seems, frankly, nuts. I would look with interest at the report when QCC get around to reviewing them. Having said that, though, if the door is in site, say of the reception desk, and is locked when no one is on duty, it might be better than an unattended door with a key pad. Still I think they should consider placing a partition wall and a door to stop access to the stairs.

Having said all that, though, I'm glad it wasn't too stressful a day, and possibly this will not be an issue for your mother.

 

[garfieldthecat]

Hi,

Good to see things may be working out for your mum after all. Just wondering though; I believe the home will have been registered for so many EMI and so many non-EMI beds. This may even have been stated in the original planning application. If they are now using non-EMI beds for EMI residents they may be obliged to either re-register or modify the part your mum is in to keep their registration legal. Food for thought? In the meantime I hope mum stays safe and comfortable.
Regards
Garfieldthecat

 

[Margaret W]

I am still not sure about this use of EMI, I don't think the term exists any more, so a home does not have to do anything to differentiate between EMI and non-EMI residents.

A safety gate would definitely contravene all regulations, in any home. A safety gate is only fit for toddlers, not adults. I can see the argument for not having a keypad, cos even non-dementia residents can't necessarily operate a keypad. A lobby, of the sort Jennifer suggested, is a good idea - two doors to to through instead of one. But I'll best most residents don't even know it is a door that can be gone through.

In mum's home, the door to downstairs was right outside her own bedroom, and when I used it to go out, she expressed surprise as to were I was going, so when she became less mobile, I stopped using it. I don't think any other residents used it either.

I hope you're otherwise happy with the home, and the stairs don't become an issue.

Love

Margaret