Mom's made the move. I'm OK, she's ok

Hisstessa

Registered User
Sep 19, 2013
30
0
USA
It has been two weeks today that I have placed my mother in a residential facility. She has adjusted well, but I sure do miss having her around. I took care of her with Alzheimers in my home for two years. As of late she was in full Hallucinations and did not know what she needed to do anymore. Sundowners was horrible. I had to make the decision for her safety and my sanity. She is reading again and has made new friends. She is happy. I think she knew deep down I had given up my life for her. She would not have wanted that.
As for ME? Wow. I never realized just how much I was wrapped in her world. I am sleeping deeply, not looking constantly at my watch, and doing the simple things in life like taking walks or even a long shower. Playing loud music, eating Popcorn for Dinner! I came to Talking Point and read the advice that you have all given me. The BIGGEST piece of advice that kept being told to me was to take care of myself. You were right. Please, if you are new to caregiving for a family member, ask for help. I didn't do it soon enough. If you don't ask, don't expect for people to help. They do not understand what you are dealing with. Use public resources. Now I am fired up and want to help others from this experience. Be a caregiver to yourself. Best wishes. Hisstessa
 
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fullmoon

Registered User
May 22, 2013
331
0
Gosh we have so many similarities! Mum lived with us for nearly two years and moved to a residential dementia unit on Thursday. It's very early days for us and I have not visited her yet (want her to settle in) but have been ringing to check on progress. At the moment it feels so odd here without her. I am so pleased though that your getting your life back and I hope to feel like that too when I know that mum is settled and happy xx
 

Hisstessa

Registered User
Sep 19, 2013
30
0
USA
Gosh we have so many similarities! Mum lived with us for nearly two years and moved to a residential dementia unit on Thursday. It's very early days for us and I have not visited her yet (want her to settle in) but have been ringing to check on progress. At the moment it feels so odd here without her. I am so pleased though that your getting your life back and I hope to feel like that too when I know that mum is settled and happy xx


Hi Full Moon! Yes, that first week was the toughest. I called the facility almost ever day to check in on her. It's so hard to let go and let others do the work for you. She smelled clean, her hands were actually warm, and she was fine. It is so hard though walking around in my house now. Her room, all of her belongings throughout the house, just so hard. I walk around like a blithering idiot mourning for her and she is fine. I guess that too will pass. The first visit I was instructed to keep a poker face if she got weepy. I did OK. She said she was waiting for Jesus to fly away with him. I almost got weepy, but that was her adjusting. Poker Face! Keep me posted!
 

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