My dad also died last year, in July. I know what you mean about feeling you're on a backward slope sometimes. Sometimes it feels sort of OK, good even (in that it's a relief that he's not around and suffering anymore), but other times I feel like I could cry forever. People deal with grief differently. Like Hazel says, October isn't very long ago at all. Take your time, don't let anyone tell you how you should be feeling.
My Dad died in October of last year - so we have both been bereaved for the same period of time. Like your Dad, my Mumseems to cope very well much of the time. And like you, I'm up and down.
Thinking of you and sending you a HUG!
I lost my mum in march last year there are times i sit here and have to take it in that she is no longer with us. Yet the other side of me is glad she is free and rid of this awful illness. I feel so sorry for my dad, he looked after her at home for the 8 years she was ill she passed at the age of 62, i feel he could never realy tell his children all 7 of us how he is realy feeling it would brake my heart to hear it. So i think he just carries on but deep inside it is tearing him apart a piece of me died when i lost my mum as iam sure a piece of my dad did to.
Is very rare i venture here now. and that today i choose to , fate decided the post i should look at first, was mom, and it related directly, because too, my mother left in August 2006. I can give my pennyworth: I muse that at about the same time as my mother died, many of those folks she knew, those she passed on the street, a whole generation, thousands of people across the world were reaching the same point. A year on nearly, perhaps they are gone too..
Your mom, My mom.... and so many more.
We have no control of that.. we cannot change it.. we cannot prevent it.. neither time or fate allows us that.
Its hard to accept that we cannot live forever.. but that is the way it should be..
Stars die.. They will all die too.. ive no wish to see the last star go dark.
What does one do? cultivate the memories.. collate stuff.. write things down , put the photographs together.. make sure those things that now mean so much to one, but perhaps did not at the time they happened, are recorded,dated, framed.
one was here... You, your mom, your dad.. your family..
They made you. its only right and natural that you want to fuel those memories and are sad that what has been, is done.. gone now..
Ones parents were pillars one leaned on.. always there.. always had the answers..
one becomes the pillar... ones mom , ones dad, ones family.. give one the ability..to make sure that what they treasured.. would carry on after they had gone..