1. angela essex

    angela essex Registered User

    Jun 7, 2007
    6
    essex
    my mom died last october its gets easier but some days i feel like i am on a backword slope but dad is coping brilliantly
     
  2. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hi Angela

    Welcome to TP. I'm sorry you lost your mum. It's not long since October, so it's still quite fresh for you. It's bound to be hard.

    Do you and your dad talk about your mum, or have you anyone else you can talk to? It's important that you don't just bottle up your emotions.

    There's almost always someone here if you need company. Why don't you post again and tell us more about yourself?

    Stay strong, I'm sure you're doing fine.

    Love,
     
  3. Áine

    Áine Registered User

    Hello Angela

    My dad also died last year, in July. I know what you mean about feeling you're on a backward slope sometimes. Sometimes it feels sort of OK, good even (in that it's a relief that he's not around and suffering anymore), but other times I feel like I could cry forever. People deal with grief differently. Like Hazel says, October isn't very long ago at all. Take your time, don't let anyone tell you how you should be feeling.

    best wishes

    Áine
     
  4. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,892
    Kent
    Hello Angela

    I`m so sorry you lost your mum and glad that at least some days are a bit easier for you.

    I wouldn`t be at all surprised if your dad feels exactly the same as you, and has good days and bad days.

    I also wouldn`t be at all surprised if he thinks this applies just to him, and that you are coping brilliantly.

    This is how families and the bereaved try to protect each other.

    take care
     
  5. Nell

    Nell Registered User

    Aug 9, 2005
    1,170
    Australia
    Dear Angela,

    My Dad died in October of last year - so we have both been bereaved for the same period of time. Like your Dad, my Mumseems to cope very well much of the time. And like you, I'm up and down.
    Thinking of you and sending you a HUG!
     
  6. angela essex

    angela essex Registered User

    Jun 7, 2007
    6
    essex
    thanks for all the support it help to now ur not alone :(
     
  7. nicetotalk

    nicetotalk Registered User

    Sep 22, 2006
    155
    stretford
    Hi all

    I lost my mum in march last year there are times i sit here and have to take it in that she is no longer with us. Yet the other side of me is glad she is free and rid of this awful illness. I feel so sorry for my dad, he looked after her at home for the 8 years she was ill she passed at the age of 62, i feel he could never realy tell his children all 7 of us how he is realy feeling it would brake my heart to hear it. So i think he just carries on but deep inside it is tearing him apart a piece of me died when i lost my mum as iam sure a piece of my dad did to.

    kathy
     
  8. Incony

    Incony Registered User

    Mar 21, 2006
    7
    Norfolk
    #8 Incony, Jun 23, 2007
    Last edited: Jun 23, 2007
    fate has no reason or schedule...

    Is very rare i venture here now. and that today i choose to , fate decided the post i should look at first, was mom, and it related directly, because too, my mother left in August 2006. I can give my pennyworth: I muse that at about the same time as my mother died, many of those folks she knew, those she passed on the street, a whole generation, thousands of people across the world were reaching the same point. A year on nearly, perhaps they are gone too..
    Your mom, My mom.... and so many more.
    We have no control of that.. we cannot change it.. we cannot prevent it.. neither time or fate allows us that.
    Its hard to accept that we cannot live forever.. but that is the way it should be..
    Stars die.. They will all die too.. ive no wish to see the last star go dark.

    What does one do? cultivate the memories.. collate stuff.. write things down , put the photographs together.. make sure those things that now mean so much to one, but perhaps did not at the time they happened, are recorded,dated, framed.

    Indelible imprints..

    one was here... You, your mom, your dad.. your family..

    They made you. its only right and natural that you want to fuel those memories and are sad that what has been, is done.. gone now..

    Ones parents were pillars one leaned on.. always there.. always had the answers..

    Angela..

    one becomes the pillar... ones mom , ones dad, ones family.. give one the ability..to make sure that what they treasured.. would carry on after they had gone..

    I sense in your post.. the success of that.
     

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