Hi all,
Feeling so sad and guilty at the moment, my mom whom had Vascular Dementia/ Mixed, sadly passed away Easter, I went into auto pilot coping with being her only daughter, meeting with the hospital palliative care team, making decisions, then her good care home , couldn't meet her needs because she developed MRSA after contacting Pneumonia.
I then went to do funeral arrangement again on my own as her brothers have ill health them selves. I feel so lost now the funeral is over, I have a new job at the care home where mom used to reside as a activity coordinator, so at least my financial state has eased some what.
I feel lost now, I miss her so much, even though she didn't and couldn't hold a conversation that made sense towards the end and she stopped eating too. She is at peace now, but I feel as if my life as stopped, I have work ,a wage and shortly a nest egg left by my mom for me. I just feel so lonely, I have two sons but they have their own life's.
How do you cope with having nothing, no money, friends due to social isolation, being on the dole after being a sole carer for two years, until mom went into a lovely home, then I was lucky to start my new job, to be their with her and spend quality time after my working day.
But alas she passed only2 months after starting my job, I was struggling with in house training, I could do with a holiday but just had compassion leave of three weeks to sort funeral, now over I feel lost, love my job but want to escape and grieve if you know what I mean. I feel guilty because I feel so tired and down. I'm the lucky one, she suffered and died when I came home for a much needed sleep. God Bless her, why do I feel like I wasn't there for her at the end, The guilt is killing me, Best wishes sjcares.
Feeling so sad and guilty at the moment, my mom whom had Vascular Dementia/ Mixed, sadly passed away Easter, I went into auto pilot coping with being her only daughter, meeting with the hospital palliative care team, making decisions, then her good care home , couldn't meet her needs because she developed MRSA after contacting Pneumonia.
I then went to do funeral arrangement again on my own as her brothers have ill health them selves. I feel so lost now the funeral is over, I have a new job at the care home where mom used to reside as a activity coordinator, so at least my financial state has eased some what.
I feel lost now, I miss her so much, even though she didn't and couldn't hold a conversation that made sense towards the end and she stopped eating too. She is at peace now, but I feel as if my life as stopped, I have work ,a wage and shortly a nest egg left by my mom for me. I just feel so lonely, I have two sons but they have their own life's.
How do you cope with having nothing, no money, friends due to social isolation, being on the dole after being a sole carer for two years, until mom went into a lovely home, then I was lucky to start my new job, to be their with her and spend quality time after my working day.
But alas she passed only2 months after starting my job, I was struggling with in house training, I could do with a holiday but just had compassion leave of three weeks to sort funeral, now over I feel lost, love my job but want to escape and grieve if you know what I mean. I feel guilty because I feel so tired and down. I'm the lucky one, she suffered and died when I came home for a much needed sleep. God Bless her, why do I feel like I wasn't there for her at the end, The guilt is killing me, Best wishes sjcares.
