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Mom has moderate dementia

Jacqueli52

New member
Oct 30, 2020
2
My Mom was diagnosed with moderate dementia earlier this year and less than a month ago, due to health issues, we admitted her to a nursing home in town with memory care, they called last night and said she attacked a male nurse, we're concerned is this normal behavior
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
2,002
Hi @Jacqueli52 and welcome to Dementia Talking Point. This is a very friendly community and you'll lots of support and advice here. Your mum's behaviour doesn't sound out of the way for someone with dementia. The world becomes very confusing, the social 'brakes' that usually stop us doing things such as hitting people don't work anymore and that leads to the person with dementia reacting in the only way they know how when they are upset or alarmed. Hopefully as the nursing home gets to know your mother better they'll find ways of calming her down before things escalate. if they don't maybe she is in the wrong place.
This fact sheet may be useful to you.
I'm sure others will be along soon with their tips and advice, but in the meantime have a look round the site, there is loads of useful information here.
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
850
Hello @Jacqueli52 . Your mum's behaviour is not that unusual, although distressing for you to hear. It can be a reaction to someone trying to carry out personal care, giving medication, anything that the person isn't keen to do at that moment, sometimes to pain, needing the loo, being too late for the loo, constipation, frustration.

My mum has frequently been aggressive and I'm afraid more than a little scratchy on many occasions. The staff have taken it in their stride and have become extremely fond of her - and her feisty nature.

It's worth checking that your mum doesn't have a urine infection, which can greatly increase aggressive behaviour. As @Sarasa mentions, the staff will hopefully get used to your mum's likes and dislikes, possibly adjust medication and do all they can to keep your mum calm.

It is very upsetting to think of our parents being so agitated but try not to dwell on it (I know this is far easier to say than actually do). Keep in touch with the nursing home and check how things are going. It's early days for your mum and she may still be adjusting to her new environment.

Keep posting and let us know how things are.
 

Weasell

Registered User
Oct 21, 2019
749
Did they mention what they considered to be the ‘trigger’ for the behaviour?
 

Jale

Registered User
Jul 9, 2018
502
Sadly yes it can be the new normal behaviour. Mum is in a nursing home, immobile, double incontinent. She lashes out at carers - usually when they are helping her with personal care, so washing, dressing, toileting - the carers now know the signs and can usually get out of the way, but there have been instances where she has hit them. I'm mortified and horrified at my mum behaving like this, she was always very vocal about people who were rude to nurses in hospitals and I know if she was aware of what she was doing she would be very upset. It is possible that in time the staff will recognise the triggers that upset your Mum and will be more able to avoid them.
Take care x
 

Jacqueli52

New member
Oct 30, 2020
2
My Mom was diagnosed with moderate dementia earlier this year and less than a month ago, due to health issues, we admitted her to a nursing home in town with memory care, they called last night and said she attacked a male nurse, we're concerned is this normal behavior
Thanks everyone, me and my sister had a meeting with the nursing home staff and we developed a plan to make her stay more comfortable for her and now they know her triggers