Hello again I am a 44 year old woman with a full time job, also trying to care for my mother who has mixed dementia for the past 3 years. She is currently living with me - I moved her into my house with her x4 pets!! Things have reached a bit of a breaking point this past week. I started looking for care homes a few weeks ago as I know I cannot continue to work full time and look after her. She is bored, lonely despite carers coming in 5-6 hours/day. She is difficult to communicate with and I think the carers spend more time cleaning my house than the do trying to engage her in some sort of conversation/activity. She is tearful a lot of the time and then angry at me the rest. I am due to be working 12 hour shifts Saturday and sunday, and got an email from the care agency that they had no one to cover the weekend shifts!! I had already decided on a care home for her, about 45 mins away from where I live, and my plan was to make a gradual move starting in September, when my work would be come quieter. I spoke to the care home, and for all practical purposes, her room is ready (is in a lovely new extension they have just completed). So.... she is going tomorrow morning!! I have tried to do some packing today, but all seems so much of a rush. She is extra agitated today, I think she can tell something is going on. I don't know if I am ready for this?!! I am dreading coming home to an empty house with most of her stuff still lying around. I guess its almost a blessing that I will be at work most of the weekend. I have been physically sick today, a number of times and was sent home from work this afternoon. Has anyone ever tried someone in 24 hour care and then taken them out again?? I am trying to convince myself that its a "2 week respite with the option to extend", as we are self-funding I guess it is sort of like that, as we could terminate her place there whenever we felt like it. Overall I feel like I have let my Mom down, as I have not been able to keep her at home with her beloved dog, as I promised. I feel like a traitor and a failure. This is her last night at home with me and all I want to do is sit with her, talk to her, etc and she keeps telling me to "go away". My dad died of cancer when he was 58, honestly, that whole process and his passing was 100% easier than this, even though I loved my Dad enormously! Does it get easier? People keep telling me I need my own life, that I have to look after myself, and although I have been stressed/tired/frustrated with Mom in the house - I am afraid after she is gone I will only become depressed/regretful/and paralysed by my guilt. Which one is better?