Mom at end stage showing signs of shutting down then bouncing back??

care 4 momma

Registered User
Jan 28, 2017
39
0
Vascular dementia mom has had Cheyne-Stokes breathing then stops, she stops eating then resumes, hands and feet are cold then warm up again, has thick secretions then it clears up, holds her urine for up to 24 hours then out it all comes at once. Seems like her brain is on auto-correct. She says she wants to go home, talks to dead relatives, reaches into the air. Her face turns red at times then lips turn white for hours and she in a staring frozen position. It is so emotionally draining to worry about what to do to help her. She is hospice care at home.
 

LadyA

Registered User
Oct 19, 2009
13,730
0
Ireland
So sorry you are going through this, Care 4 momma. It must be the most gut-wrenching, heartbreaking time for you. Some people go quite quickly when they reach this stage, but others just linger on for quite a while. There's just no telling. Wishing you strength and endurance. xx
 

Aisling

Registered User
Dec 5, 2015
1,804
0
Ireland
Vascular dementia mom has had Cheyne-Stokes breathing then stops, she stops eating then resumes, hands and feet are cold then warm up again, has thick secretions then it clears up, holds her urine for up to 24 hours then out it all comes at once. Seems like her brain is on auto-correct. She says she wants to go home, talks to dead relatives, reaches into the air. Her face turns red at times then lips turn white for hours and she in a staring frozen position. It is so emotionally draining to worry about what to do to help her. She is hospice care at home.


Am so, so sorry care 4 momma. Sending you a massive hug.

Aisling xxx
 

jorgieporgie

Registered User
Mar 2, 2016
1,982
0
YORKSHIRE
So sorry for you care4 momma. Your Mum will be getting the best care with hospice care.
I was told when Mum was passing that at this stage they do not suffer its the people watching who suffer more. Hope you find strength and comfort in that. Virtual hugs sent.
 

care 4 momma

Registered User
Jan 28, 2017
39
0
So sorry you are going through this, Care 4 momma. It must be the most gut-wrenching, heartbreaking time for you. Some people go quite quickly when they reach this stage, but others just linger on for quite a while. There's just no telling. Wishing you strength and endurance. xx

Thanks to all, I just never expected the back and forth roller coaster of her symptoms, step father just went down consistently with now rebound. Vascular is very different and worse for the family because you get joy when they are doing better then it get rips away from you again. Vascular dementia sucks you dry as a family caregiver!!
 

lemonjuice

Registered User
Jun 15, 2016
1,534
0
England
Thanks to all, I just never expected the back and forth roller coaster of her symptoms, step father just went down consistently with now rebound. Vascular is very different and worse for the family because you get joy when they are doing better then it get rips away from you again. Vascular dementia sucks you dry as a family caregiver!!

Sums it up very well. Certainly a roller-coaster. We're into year 3 of palliative care with occasional upturns.:confused:
 

Soobee

Registered User
Aug 22, 2009
2,731
0
South
It's very hard to go through all this whilst wondering if this is it each time, so draining. I hope that Talking Point helps a bit to buoy you up when you need it. I also wish your mom comfort and peace.
 

lemonjuice

Registered User
Jun 15, 2016
1,534
0
England
Just wanted to pick up on your story.
I've read your post about BM on the other thread and just wanted to say I'm thinking of you as I'm also travelling this possibly near the end/ recovery/ emergency/ recovery journey and understand the frustration and worry asociated with it all.

I'm in awe of your ability to care for your mother still at Home. We' seem to have had the same length of going towards the end journey, though I think she's more responsive than mine.
 

care 4 momma

Registered User
Jan 28, 2017
39
0
Just wanted to pick up on your story.
I've read your post about BM on the other thread and just wanted to say I'm thinking of you as I'm also travelling this possibly near the end/ recovery/ emergency/ recovery journey and understand the frustration and worry asociated with it all.

I'm in awe of your ability to care for your mother still at Home. We' seem to have had the same length of going towards the end journey, though I think she's more responsive than mine.

Thank you Lemonjuice, I just know it would be harder for me to send her away, I would be worse off wondering if she is being cared for like I care for her. My brothers say anytime you find it too hard to bear let them know and they will understand it if I am too stressed or can't cope anymore. But the thought of missing her smile at me every morning and the rare, 'Hey darlin'' I have come to realize I have to keep going. She is now sleeping all day and sometimes falls asleep when feeding her. She eats most of her breakfast and dinner but not always lunch. She used to never miss a meal. Things are getting worse. I have to see her through this to the end. She needs me more each day that passes. Hospice is a big help with bathing since she is now showing pain when we turn her in the bed. Lost 30 pounds in 3 months even though she is eating and drinking a normal amount. Its all so unreal, this disease is brutal!!
 

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