1. Nhlanhla

    Nhlanhla New member

    Oct 23, 2019
    5
    Female
    South Africa
    Good day,

    I'm so glad I found this platform to be able to talk about my frustrations. My mom is 61 years of age, she was diagnosed with dementia earlier this year. She lives with me and my 7 years old son. She forgets a lot and my son has even realized.
    My mom wants to be alone most of the time, her mood swings differ and are just unpredictable. During her bad days, she usually shuts herself in her room and cries the whole day. When I try to offer her assistance, she replies by telling me that she does not want to live anymore, she does not see the point of living. She has been seeing a state psychiatrist (who has diagnosed antidepressants for her) and has encountered one session with a psychologist.
    My sister is married and lives far from us but she usually helps me with taking mom to the clinic, hospital and doctor appointments.
    My mom is usually alone during the day (weekdays)
    when I'm at work and my son is at school. I cannot afford carer at this stage.

    I'm worried about my mom, especially when I'm not around to keep an eye on her. Do I have to pay a fee if I want to enroll her in a Home? What can I do?
     
  2. karaokePete

    karaokePete Registered User

    Jul 23, 2017
    5,015
    N Ireland
    Hello @Nhlanhla you are welcome here and I hope you find the forum to be a friendly and supportive place.

    I hope you have time to take a good look around the site as it is a goldmine for information. When I first joined I read old threads for information but then found the AS Publications list and the page where a post code search can be done to check for support services in ones own area. If you are interested in these, clicking the following links will take you there

    https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list

    https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you

    You will see that there are Factsheets that will help with things like getting care needs assessments, deciding the level of care required and sorting out useful things like Wills, Power of Attorney etc., if any of that hasn't already been done. There is also a Dementia Guide in the list.

    Now that you have found us I hope you will keep posting as the membership has vast collective knowledge and experience.

    Do keep on top of the depression aspect as it's common in dementia. My wife was early onset and sounds similar to your mom. My wife is treated separately for depression and anxiety.
     
  3. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,712
    Female
    South coast
    Hello @Nhlanhla and welcome to DTP.
    I am sorry to hear about your mom. 61 years old is so very young and you have a lot of commitments.
    One or two things that you mentioned make me wonder whether you are not living in UK. If you are in UK, then the links that karaokePete gave will be helpful, but obviously, if you dont the mechanisms of support will be very different. I wonder whether you could give a general location (New Zealand, Ohio US etc) as we have a number of members from different parts of the world and someone might be able to point you in the right direction.
     
  4. Nhlanhla

    Nhlanhla New member

    Oct 23, 2019
    5
    Female
    South Africa
    Hi,
    I am from South Africa. Hope to get a few leads this side.
     
  5. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,721
    Kent
    Hello @Nhlanhla

    I hope you will be able to get some help and support from people here. Your mother is very young and it must be really difficult for you.

    I don`t know if the following link will be helpful but it may be worth contacting them.

    https://www.dementiasa.org/help-and-support/
     
  6. Nhlanhla

    Nhlanhla New member

    Oct 23, 2019
    5
    Female
    South Africa
    You will see that there are Factsheets that will help with things like getting care needs assessments, deciding the level of care required and sorting out useful things like Wills, Power of Attorney etc., if any of that hasn't already been done. There is also a Dementia Guide in the list.

    Now that you have found us I hope you will keep posting as the membership has vast collective knowledge and experience.

    Do keep on top of the depression aspect as it's common in dementia. My wife was early onset and sounds similar to your mom. My wife is treated separately for depression and anxiety.[/QUOTE]

    Hello @karaokePete.

    Thank you for the response, and the leads.
     
  7. Nhlanhla

    Nhlanhla New member

    Oct 23, 2019
    5
    Female
    South Africa
    Good day all,
    Just wanted to give an update on mom's progress. I managed to find an old age home closer to home, mom goes there 2 times a week during the day. I organised transport for her to be driven to the home on mornings and fetch her during afternoons.
    Her behavior has changed a lot; she smiles very constantly, spends time with us during dinner time, her voice tone has even changed. I'm so grateful for this sudden change but also constantly asking myself if anything could trigger her mood what would happen.

    My sister took her for the brain scan today and I have to fetch the results next Tuesday.
     
  8. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Registered User

    Apr 1, 2016
    3,178
    Nottinghamshire
    That's positive news @Nhlanhla

    I'm glad you've found somewhere your mum likes going to and she's cheered up.
    Take each day as it comes.
     
  9. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,712
    Female
    South coast
    I agree - it sounds like this place is just what she needs at the moment. Dont worry too much about what will happen in the future - it is impossible to tell how or when things will change. You just have to deal with problems as they come.

    Good luck for Tuesday,
    xx
     
  10. Nhlanhla

    Nhlanhla New member

    Oct 23, 2019
    5
    Female
    South Africa
    Thank you
     

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