1. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    It's so sad, isn't it? I feel with John thatwhen he's alert he understands what's going on, but just hasn't the worde to join in. Then when he's tired that goes too. But I'm convinced there is still intelligence there sometimes. It must be so frustrating for him.

    I'm glad Steve has a carer he gets on with. It's good that she took the initiative to ring the GP and query his meds.

    I hope he settles in now.

    Love,
     
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,751
    Kent
    Dear Sue,

    I `m sorry I didn`t realize how much you`ve had to go through. To have to watch your husband cry for 3 weeks must have been agony.

    I`m glad for your sake he`s settled down now.

    Take care
     
  3. twink

    twink Registered User

    Oct 28, 2005
    265
    Cambridgeshire UK
    Morning Hazel and Sylvia,

    Thank you, the manager at the home said it takes them about 3 weeks to settle in when they move to a home but Steve did cry the whole time, it was terrible to see him. I did ask if they would get the GP in if it didn't stop soon to give him something to calm him and the carer said she thought he needed a drugs review which is what they've done. I'm just not sure if he's suddenly settled in or that taking him off some drugs would calm him so quickly but whatever, it doesn't matter, he has stopped crying. He did say to me twice on one visit last week that he knew there was something wrong but I didn't know if he was having a 'good moment' or if he was just saying it because he does talk about work all the time and is always talking about the problems he's having 'at work'.

    They have two pet rabbits at his home and they were running about in the garden and I said to Steve look at the rabbits and he looked out of the window, not where the rabbits were, somewhere comepletely different and he laughed and said something which made me think he could see children playing.

    When he went into the dining room for tea yesterday he had soup and he just sat there, he didn't seem to know what to do (as usual) so I put the spoon in his hand and he played with it for a moment and I put some soup on the spoon and guided his hand to his mouth with it and he seemed to remember then what to do. I usually leave then so he's occupied and I can go without him following me to the door and wanting to come out with me. All the time he was crying, when I visited he didn't talk but since he stopped crying he realizes I'm there and looks really surprised to see me and asks me how I got there. It's like the first 3 weeks he was there he didn't know I was there.

    Love Sue
     
  4. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,751
    Kent
    #24 Grannie G, Apr 9, 2007
    Last edited: Apr 9, 2007
    Hi Sue,

    When my mother was in her NH, whenever I visited, whilst she still had speech, she always greeted me by saying, `You keep finding me, don`t you`.

    When you wrote that Steve seems surprised to see you when you visit and wonders how you get there, I wonder if it`s more of the same.

    Also, when I point things out to my husband, sometimes I know he doesn`t focus on what I want him to see, but he responds too, and I think he`s bluffing because it`s easier than persevering.

    And many mornings when he wakes up, he doesn`t understand why he doesn`t have to go to work, and where his `wages` come from.

    So many similarities.

    Take care
     
  5. twink

    twink Registered User

    Oct 28, 2005
    265
    Cambridgeshire UK
    Hi Sylvia,

    I remember a few months ago before Steve got so ill and was still at home, if he tried to do a little job indoors, he had no idea what he was doing cos of the dementia but he did bluff, he always said I can't do it, cos of my hand. He always knew enough to blame it on his arthritis. It's strange how their minds are slowly going but they know how to bluff.

    He's been wearing his jeans at the home and I took some jogging bottoms cos I thought they'd be easier for everyone and I said without thinking, take your jeans down but he didn't know what to do BUT, he did look at me with a cheeky grin on his face so I pulled them down and he gave me a wicked grin and pulled them straight back up again as though I was about to do something to him! Even his sense of humour seems to have come back a little bit in a few short days which is amazing.

    Love Sue
     
  6. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,751
    Kent
    Hi Sue, I suppose these `normal` behaviours are from areas of the brain which aren`t as badly affected. We must make the most of them when they come. It`s so good to have some ordinary interaction, however fleeting.
    Take care
     
  7. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    he gave me a wicked grin

    I loved your post about the jeans! but I feel so sad that we find 'pleasure' in these small but funny gestures. Thank God we are still human in spite of all the day to day miseries! I sometimes think if David were given scores for bluffing he would be at the top of the tree! I dont like the fact that others understand all this but at least it helps in our 'coping'. Take care Beckyjan
     
  8. hawaii50

    hawaii50 Registered User

    My mother was given these kind of tests while Mental Health services were trying out different kinds of medication - two years ago. She was tested every two months - then when she became alergic to every one of the drugs and was taken off them, mental health told us they wouldn't need to visit her any longer and disappeared off the planet!! She has had no visits and no tests since then - so I guess they were a means to an end. I was always so frustrated as at that time she would "perform" miraculously during the visit and score quite well but hadn't a clue what any of it was about and the minute they left she collapsed exhausted and 10 minutes later she had no idea that anyone had visited. They happily went off with their score which they believed was an accurate assessment of her abilities!!!!
     
  9. twink

    twink Registered User

    Oct 28, 2005
    265
    Cambridgeshire UK
    I really did laugh Beckyjan, the way he grinned at me and then pulled them up, he must have thought I was about to try it on with him. That's the first time for a long time, months, that I've seen him anything like that. How old is your David?

    When Steve had to have the tests he used to 'panic'. He hated them and every time he was asked a question he looked to me for the answer and I'd sworn I'd keep quiet and not help him if they let me go in. He hated not being able to answer the questions and as soon as anyone said I want to ask you some questions, he would say oh no. One psychiatrist said that he felt he could have done better with some of them but he got distressed and had no confidence so got them wrong becasue of that as well as having the dementia of course.

    Sue
     

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